Sunni Skin and Wellness

Self-abandonment can be so subtle.

It’s not always dramatic.

Sometimes it’s saying “I’m fine” when you’re absolutely exhausted.

Sometimes it’s putting everyone else’s needs before your own.

Sometimes it’s staying quiet because expressing what you actually feel might make someone uncomfortable.
Sometimes it’s pushing through because you’ve convinced yourself that stopping isn’t an option.

And sometimes...

you’ve been doing it for so long that you’ve forgotten what you actually need.

But you don’t have to become less loving, less giving or less caring.

You just have to stop leaving yourself out of the equation.

Try this today:

Pause.
Breathe.
Feel.
Ask.

“What do I need right now?”

And then, if you can...

listen to the answer. 🤍

That’s the work.

That’s the return.

I became a mum at 18.

It was a month after my 18th birthday. I graduated year 12 pregnant. I was scared, lost and no idea what I was doing. I was part of a program for women who were 18 and under, it was only through that program that they counseled me and I discovered that my relationship wasn’t ideal. Deep down I knew it wasn’t forever but I had no idea how to move away from it safely or what to do next. So I pretended everything was okay.

A plan was created and at 6 weeks old I ended that relationship. It didn’t bring relief, it didn’t make things easier but I knew it was a step in the right direction. This decision has followed me for 18 years…

If I knew who I would have to become to move through those moments I would have run towards that version of myself. But it didn’t feel natural to invite pain in, it can almost come with a sense of avoidance if you feel like facing it will leave you with more scars. Like touching an open wound. You want to cover it and let it heal.

My body has kept the score for longer than it should, with no safe way to visit the wounds or remotely understand the journey it’s been on without unraveling and disassociating. I’ve got to high five my nervous system for doing its job and protecting me every single time it associated a situation with fear and emotional distress. As quick as a traffic light my body decided what was green to go, orange to slow down and red to stop. So I listened.

My tolerance was small and through repeated actions slowly my kids got the version of me that shut down but I smiled through it thinking they’d be okay and wouldn’t be affected. This is what hurt the most. They got old enough to ask questions, old enough to see and ask.. ‘why do you smile when you cry mum?’
I needed relief, I needed an answer, I needed something to change my perspective. Something to help me understand why my body behaved the way it did.

I discovered Breathwork as a tool in my toolkit of things I use when I need daily support. Just my set of lungs with myself anywhere I go. 24/7 support. You deserve this support too.

I’m offering 5 FREE breath health assessments. Comment or DM ‘BREATH’ ❤️

Do you hold onto stress like a badge of honour?

It proves you are doing everything for everyone, it proves you are using all your spare time and energy to make sure everyone is thought of… what else are you trying to prove?

Stress proves you are pushing your limits.

Can this be healthy is short bursts? You decide.

Hear me out 😅 Stress with a plan where you get to come back to state of regularity so your nervous system has a break and can build capacity will be helpful.

So why aren’t we building plans to help us thrive?

DM me ‘PLAN’ and we can work together to build one around your lifestyle that you can actually implement and benefit from.

Laying here with my thoughts from the week…

Deciding what’s worthy of sharing, what can bring value. Where I can be of use. 🤔

And then it hits me… we all probably feel this constantly. That’s what contributes to burnout.

That’s the reality for me anyway… and yet here I am suggesting you put yourself first and book a facial or a beauty treatment and give yourself the nourishment and time you deserve and I struggle to do it for myself.

Truth is I’ve been sitting with some heavy feelings this week, some old shadows appeared and reflections from old friends put some big life events into perspective. I’ve been super grateful for these reflections but also I was reminded that the feelings don’t leave just because time has moved on. If anything it was my life saying maybe it’s time to revisit old wounds and fully process them through.

Normally this is where you’d find me saying Breathwork or a facial is the tool… it is two of many tools I’d say. But Breathwork isn’t always the soft flowing gentle calm we encourage our ‘peaceful’ centre to be.

Sometimes it’s the big exhales, the heightened sequence of breaths collected to allow the body to feel deeper and deeper.

Ive recently challenged myself by switching up my physical training. One of the ways I’ve allowed my body to go deeper with my breathing is by practicing it in real life situations with exercise. Then when I feel activated by simulating a fight/flight response because of mouth breathing. I then coach my body through a serious of breathing techniques and mentally remind myself I am safe and retrain my body through different stimulation whether that be verbal, touch and other modalities. This is how I train my Breathwork clients.

What matters is that your nervous system is like a muscle… it thrives off training. Your system will always be scanning for a threat if that is all it knows. It’s trying to keep you safe and it’s doing its job. Your job is to decide if you want to train it into a new reality. ❤️