Naima’s Journal

One of the most valuable lessons of emotional intelligence is learning to accept that people change. We often expect others to behave in the same caring, attentive, or familiar way they once did, and it can be difficult when their actions no longer match our expectations. However, change is a natural part of life, and every individual goes through different experiences, responsibilities, and personal growth.

Dealing with such changes requires patience and positivity. Instead of immediately assuming the worst, we should try to understand that people may be facing challenges that we cannot see. Communicating honestly, managing our expectations, and focusing on what we can control can help us protect our peace of mind. It is also important to appreciate the good moments we shared without becoming trapped in the past.

True emotional intelligence does not mean ignoring disappointment; rather, it means responding with empathy, self-awareness, and maturity. By accepting change with an open heart and maintaining a positive outlook, we strengthen our relationships and continue to grow as individuals.

Healing from trauma caused by the people closest to us can be one of life’s deepest emotional battles. The pain often cuts deeper because it comes from those we trusted, loved, and expected safety from. Wounds from close relationships may not always leave visible scars, but they can shape the way we think, feel, love, and protect ourselves.

One of the most important lessons from mental well-being literature is this: healing begins when we stop denying our pain and start acknowledging it with honesty. You do not heal by pretending nothing happened; you heal by understanding what happened, how it affected you, and what needs to change so the wound no longer controls your life.

First, put Allah above everything. Allah sees what others fail to see. He understands the silent tears, the unspoken disappointments, and the heaviness carried in the heart. Sometimes people fail us in ways we never expected, but Allah never loses sight of our struggles. Trusting His wisdom does not mean the pain disappears overnight—it means believing that even painful experiences can carry lessons, growth, and divine protection. What feels like heartbreak today may be part of Allah’s way of rebuilding you into someone stronger, wiser, and more aware.

Second, prioritize both your mental and physical health. Emotional trauma does not only stay in the mind—it often lives in the body as well. Stress can show up as fatigue, headaches, anxiety, poor sleep, body pain, or constant exhaustion. This is why healing must be holistic. Protect your peace. Rest when needed. Nourish your body. Seek support. Set boundaries where necessary. Mental wellness books often emphasize that boundaries are not walls to punish others; they are healthy limits that protect your emotional well-being. Loving others should never require abandoning yourself.

Lastly, learn the difficult art of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean excusing harmful behavior or forgetting what happened. It means choosing not to let bitterness become a permanent home in your heart. No matter how deep the wound or how painful the cut, carrying resentment forever only makes the burden heavier. Life moves forward through a process of catching and releasing—acknowledging what hurt you, learning from it, and gradually releasing what weighs you down.

Healing is not linear. Some days you will feel strong; some days the pain may return. That does not mean you are failing. It simply means healing is a journey. Be patient with yourself.

And remember: sometimes the strongest thing a person can do is choose peace over chaos, growth over pain, and faith over despair.

May Allah grant us hearts that heal, minds that find peace, and souls that know when to hold on and when to let go.

There is something we don’t talk about enough: generational trauma and boundaries within families, especially among the women who hold families together—our mothers and mothers-in-law.

Many of our mothers were raised in environments where sacrifice meant silence, obedience was expected, and emotional needs were often ignored. They survived difficult circumstances with the tools they had. For that, they deserve empathy and respect.

But empathy should not mean repeating unhealthy patterns.

Pain that is never processed often gets passed down—not always through harsh words, but through control, guilt, emotional dependency, criticism, or the belief that love must come with suffering.

This is how generational trauma works:
What hurt one generation quietly shapes the next.

A mother who was never allowed boundaries may struggle when her daughter sets them.
A mother-in-law who equated control with care may feel rejected when her son’s wife asks for space.
What feels “normal” to one generation may feel emotionally exhausting to another.

And that is where awareness becomes powerful.

Boundaries are not disrespect. Boundaries are clarity.
They are not walls built to punish people.
They are healthy limits that protect relationships from resentment, burnout, and emotional harm.

Setting boundaries can sound like:

* “I love you, but I need my decisions to be respected.”
* “I value your advice, but this choice is ours.”
* “Care should not require control.”
* “Love should not demand self-erasure.”

Healthy families are not built on fear, guilt, or unquestioned authority.
They are built on mutual respect, emotional maturity, and the willingness to evolve.

The strongest individuals are not those who control everyone around them.
They are the ones courageous enough to reflect and ask:
“Am I healing pain, or passing it on?”

It is never too late to change.

Our mothers and mothers-in-law do not need perfection.
They need awareness.
They need space to unlearn.
They need to know that love grows deeper when it allows individuality.

Breaking generational trauma does not mean abandoning family values.
It means preserving the good while courageously releasing the harmful.

A healthy family legacy is not one where everyone stays silent to keep peace.
It is one where people feel safe enough to speak, respected enough to have boundaries, and loved enough to remain themselves.

May we raise and become adults who understand this:
Love becomes healthier when boundaries are honored.
And healing begins the moment someone chooses awareness over repetition.

PS : I might actually start writing ✍️.

It’s always better to go with the flow.
Credits-Go Tahseen Go

My kinda evening 🌹💕

Fantasising 🙏🌅

to Eid Moobarak
Me and my pookies 😆

to Baishakh

Fitcheck kinda day💃🏻🤷‍♀️