SOHAN BRO

It is past midnight now, and everything around is dead silent. Sleep eludes my eyes; there is only a whirlwind of thoughts about her. As I think and write these words, tears keep welling up in my eyes over and over again. Just how much I miss her, no one knows except the darkness of this night and the silent tears in my eyes.

You could say I was completely crazy about her. I have never talked to or texted any girl this much in my entire life. I don't even know what would happen to me whenever she came online! Before she could even reply to one text, I would send her five or six more. My friends would sometimes tell me, "You send her so many texts, and she doesn't even reply to you properly!" I would just smile and say, "She is my beloved, that's why I text her so much."

She was a very mysterious girl. She never let anyone understand her pain, nor did she ever speak of it. She was completely different from everyone else. In my eyes, she was a uniquely enchanting soul. I know I must have made some mistakes too; if I ever get the chance, I will mend those mistakes of mine first.

Actually, the fault is entirely mine—I fell in love with her. I just can't seem to make my stubborn heart understand. I know very well that she will never be mine. I loved her even while knowing the bitter truth that I could never have her. I never asked for anything; my only prayer was that she remains happy forever. Because her happiness is my happiness!

Perhaps I will never have her. We will never go to a flower shop together, nor will we wander around side by side. But she will always live in my imagination; for the rest of my life, she will reside on the left side of my heart.

Today, I feel like an absolute failure. I am such an unfortunate soul that I couldn't make anyone happy. Neither could I make myself happy, nor her, nor the person I consider my own brother. At the end of the day, in the pursuit of keeping my loved ones happy, my own well-being has gone missing. Sometimes I feel a deep sense of regret—that old, cheerful Sohan is nothing but a heavy sigh today!

Maybe one day I will leave this world forever, but these writings of mine will remain. I could never finish describing her. My eyes keep blurring with tears, so all my unspoken words remain safely tucked away in the pages of my diary today. If my heart feels heavy again, I will write about her in these very pages... For now, my journey continues with a deep sense of emptiness and tears.