Soul Full Resistance

I’ve never read this book but I’m adding it to my reading list. Of all that was shared this part resonated with me:

Pema has this idea, unconditional friendship with yourself, and it sounds soft until you actually try to practise it, and then you realise it might be one of the hardest things a person can do. To meet your own fear, your own shame, your own spiralling 2 am thoughts, not with another wave of self-improvement, but with something closer to how you'd sit with a frightened child:

I see you. I'm not going anywhere.

How powerful to gift ourselves with the unconditional care and compassion we show to our best friend.

I am going to say something that might sound strange coming from someone about to recommend a book.

I spent the first thirty pages of this book disagreeing with Pema Chödrön.

I was desperately hoping that a Buddhist nun who has spent decades studying the human mind had somehow gotten it wrong. Because what she was saying, in the voice of someone who has clearly made peace with it, was something I was not ready to make peace with.

Here's the sentence that started the argument. She says the things falling apart in your life are not a malfunction. That the ground was never solid to begin with; you were never actually standing on anything, you'd just gotten remarkably good at not noticing.

She says the anxious, ungrounded feeling you're trying so hard to fix is not a problem to be solved. It's just what it feels like to be a person, accurately, for once, without the usual padding.

I did not want to hear that. I wanted solutions. I wanted five steps. I wanted someone to hand me the ground back. Pema, gently, yet infuriatingly, refuses. And it took me embarrassingly long to realize that refusal is the entire gift of this book.

Pema has this idea, unconditional friendship with yourself, and it sounds soft until you actually try to practise it, and then you realise it might be one of the hardest things a person can do. To meet your own fear, your own shame, your own spiralling 2 am thoughts, not with another wave of self-improvement, but with something closer to how you'd sit with a frightened child:

I see you. I'm not going anywhere.

She tells a story about a woman who kept having nightmares about monsters chasing her, invading her space. She tries everything to get rid of them: yelling at them, barricading the door, and trying to analyze them. Nothing works, until one night, exhausted, she turned around, looked the monsters in the eye, and said, I see you. You're not going away, so let's see what you have to teach me.

And the monsters froze. They had no idea what to do with someone who stopped running. I read that over and again because I knew exactly which monsters she was talking about. I have a few of my own that have been very comfortable chasing me for years, precisely because I never once turned around.

And then there's the line that I think about more than almost anything else I've read: nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. I didn't want that to be true either. I wanted things to just go away, old grief, old patterns, old fears, through sheer avoidance, if necessary.

But avoidance, it turns out, is just a very elaborate waiting room. The thing doesn't leave. It just keeps tapping you on the shoulder, in slightly different outfits, until you finally look at it.

I need to tell you about the Audiobook.

Recently, I listened to it late at night, read by Christy Meyer. And something about hearing the ideas arrive as sound rather than text undid me in a completely new way. I lay in the dark and listened and felt the particular quality of being very quiet inside, which is rare for me and which Pema Chödrön seems, somehow, to make possible from beyond the page.

This is the book I return to, not because I've mastered anything in it. I very much have not. I still resist. I still want the five steps. I still, on bad days, run from the monsters instead of turning around.

But every single time I come back to these pages, something in me recognises the voice, the way you recognise an old friend who never asked you to be anything other than exactly what you are in that moment.

What "When Things Fall Apart" does to me, every time, is remind me that falling apart was never the emergency I thought it was, and that there is a way to be here, inside the mess, without needing it to be anything other than what it already is.

I don't know if I'll ever stop disagreeing with parts of it. I also don't know if I'll ever stop coming back.

And right now, that is the only endorsement that matters. Not what I thought when I read the first 30 pages. What I do when things fall apart.

I reach for this book. Every time.

BOOK: https://amzn.to/4pg5FC8

It’s funny how much the body and soul, when truly nourished, feels at ease. I find myself this morning with the lingering feeling of dis-ease. Recognizing that life is a constant ebb&flow, I understand that lows aren’t everlasting and that I have within me the ability to choose how long I want to sit in that space and place. I missed being with my Soul Sistas last month. I didn’t realize how much it actually serves my soul. Being there every month, I didn’t realize how healing a space it is for me. So today I’m thinking of my Soul Sistas with immense gratitude and appreciation for pouring into me with your presences, stories, laughter and tears. This little community is truly good for the body and the soul. ❤️❤️🥰🥰❤️

It’s that time again! For my Queens and my Soul Sistas looking for time to disconnect from the hustle and reconnect self, all in the company of community! Come as you are, with your journal, yoga mat, and your melanated glow!

A time change, an upcoming change in season, signals the opportunity for change within. Join me as we prepare our internal garden to plant new seeds for personal growth and aspiration. What we nurture grows. Are you ready to tend to your garden? If so, join me! And why not bring a friend. Registration link is in my bio! See you soon!

Is it me or does it feel like we are already 3 months into the new year?!?! Guuuurl life has been life-ing and it’s just the middle of the month!! If you’re tyaad an’ cyan tek nuh more, then join me along with fellow soul sistas to come together in community to disconnect from the life’s daily stressors and rejuvenate our soul. Link in bio to register. ❤️🧘🏽‍♀️❤️🫶🏾

Dear Soul Sistas,
As we welcome 2025, let us embrace the fullness of who we are, unapologetically. Wishing you all a year of health, happiness and opportunities. Looking forward to seeing you at our monthly wellness events. Stay tuned!! Big tings a gwan in #2025!!! JOIN ME in the adventure!!

Soul Sistas this Soul FULL Sunday is the last session for this year (Sep-Jun). So if you haven’t come out…if it’s been on your “to get to” list then this weekend is the time to GET TO IT!!! Soul Sistas let’s collective call in some of our sisters to treat themselves to some rest, relaxation and restoration of the soul! Tag a sista, like AND share! Registration link in bio. 👍🏽👏🏽🙌🏾

A new month brings another opportunity to flow and glow together! Bring your mat, your journal and your beautiful soul for another Soul FULL Sunday. Registration link in bio.

was the first Black yoga instructor I had. I met while in Tanzania on a retreat with .

Experiencing a community with other Soul sisters flowing together had a huge impact on me and left me with a longing for community when I returned home.

Fix was the one who encouraged to me follow my dream of and had 100% confidence in me. She is a beautiful soul, inside and out. Grounded in her spirit, she is the spark that ignited my flame. I see you and celebrate you this month! Keep flowing. Keep spinning those tunes. Thank you for believing in me!

Thanks Sādhanā Yoga Studio for creating a space for us where we can gather, laugh, cry, connect and reconnect. We flow together and grow together in a space that is designed especially for us. “Movement without awareness is exercise. Movement with awareness is yoga.”

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An Affinity Space for Black Women.

Journaling, meditation, yoga and discussion with Shelita Walker.

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