Liz Melling ADHD Coaching and Holistic Wellbeing

By the time many women come to work with me, they're often exhausted.

They've been doing their best to keep going, wondering why everything seems to take so much more effort than it does for everyone else. They're looking for a space where they can take a breath, make sense of what's been going on, and begin to understand themselves in a different way. Somewhere they don't have to explain why they feel the way they do. Somewhere they can explore their patterns with curiosity instead of criticism.

That's what I aim to offer through my one-to-one coaching.

My approach brings together my lived experience, professional training and a range of different approaches, including ADHD and AuDHD coaching, nervous system support, creative wellbeing practices, emotional regulation strategies, and practical tools that fit into everyday life.

Together, we'll discover what works for you.
Because there isn't a one-size-fits-all way to live well with ADHD.

There is your way.

If you're curious about working together, comment READY and I'll send you the link to book a free Curiosity Call. It's a chance for us to chat, explore what's been going on for you, and see whether coaching feels like the right next step.

I spent most of my life feeling like a contradiction of myself. I couldn’t understand the constant conflict going on inside my head. Things like:

Wanting routine but resisting it at all costs.
Wanting connection but also needing space.
Feeling overstimulated and yet still craving something more.
Having a system work for me one day and not the next.

None of it felt consistent, and none of it quite made sense.

What I understand now is that a lot of this comes from the different needs that can exist alongside each other in an AuDHD brain. My autistic brain often wants structure, predictability and calm, while my ADHD brain seeks novelty, stimulation and movement.

It can feel like a constant back-and-forth. A quiet tug-of-war running underneath everyday life.

It’s easy to assume that you’re the ‘problem’, or that you’re ‘just being difficult’. But when you understand what’s actually going on, you can start to unpick things and find ways forward that support those different needs.

Sometimes that means adjusting things. Other times it means trying a different approach. And sometimes it’s simply recognising which need is louder in that moment.

There isn’t always a perfect answer, but there can be more understanding, more flexibility, and a bit more compassion for yourself in the middle of it.

I've been thinking a lot about capacity recently, and particularly about what it means to actually plan for the days when I have less of it.

It's all very well making plans when I've got the energy, headspace and executive functioning to think everything through. The problem is that I'm not necessarily going to have that same capacity when it comes to actually doing the thing.

Food is a really good example for me. I might plan to cook a proper meal, but sometimes by the time it gets to the evening, I simply don't have the capacity to cook what I'd planned. So I make sure I have options available for those days.

I often cook a little bit more than I need and put an extra portion in the freezer. And when I say that, I don't mean spending Sunday afternoon doing some enormous batch-cooking session... I often just cook an extra portion of what I'm already making.

I also try to have things around that make feeding myself easier: eggs, baked beans, frozen vegetables, microwave rice, soup, wholemeal pasta and a jar of tomato sauce, or a ready meal that I can just put in the microwave.

For me, planning for fluctuating capacity means not just having a Plan A. It's making sure I've got an easier option available for the days when Plan A asks more of me than I've got to give.

And I think this applies to much more than food.

Instead of creating one plan and expecting ourselves to follow it regardless of how we're functioning that day, perhaps we can build in different options for different levels of capacity.

I'm curious: is there anything you've made easier for your lower-capacity days? I'd love to know what's worked for you.

If you fancy hanging out with this little cutie...
..then you should probably book yourself onto one of my Creative Pause Sessions.

Milo has appointed himself as Chief Helper (although "interrupter" is probably more accurate).
He usually wanders onto the screen at some point, demands attention, inspects everyone's work, and generally reminds us all not to take life too seriously.

The sessions are a chance to slow down, play with your art materials, and connect with others.
Check out the details in the comments x

You may have seen my recent post about Dr Miguel Toribio-Mateas' ADHD Body and Mind talk at this year's Bradford Literature Festival. In that post, I talked about the questions we ask ourselves and whether changing the question might sometimes lead us to a more helpful answer.

Carrying on with this line of thought, I was thinking about the idea of capacity...

During his talk, Miguel spoke about how we can have the best intentions and the perfect plan. We might have bought all the healthy food, planned our meals, and genuinely want to look after ourselves. But if our executive functioning isn't where we need it to be, or we simply don't have the capacity that day, carrying out that plan becomes much harder.

His example was having all the ingredients ready to cook a healthy meal, but when the time comes, not having the capacity to make it... so you end up having a Pot Noodle instead.

After the talk, I had the chance to chat with Miguel, and we carried on talking about this idea. We both agreed how easy it is to judge ourselves when we don't follow through with the plans we've made, without stopping to consider whether we actually had the capacity to carry them out that day.

It's made me think about how often we judge ourselves against the plan we made on a good day, rather than the capacity we actually had on the day we were trying to carry it out.

For me, that's where curiosity and self-compassion become so important. Not lowering our expectations or giving up on the things that matter, but recognising that our capacity isn't fixed. It changes from day to day. Perhaps our plans need enough flexibility to change with it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have you noticed your own capacity fluctuating from day to day? What helps you work with it, rather than against it?

I recently came across this quote from Thích Nhất Hạnh, and it really made me stop and think.

We're often so quick to blame ourselves when things aren't going well.

If we're struggling, we tell ourselves we need to try harder, be more organised or just get on with it.

Yet, as the quote points out, if a lettuce wasn't growing well, we wouldn't blame the lettuce. We'd look at the conditions. Does it need more water? Better soil? More or less sunlight?

So why don't we offer ourselves that same curiosity?

Instead of asking, "What's wrong with me?" perhaps we could ask, "What might help me flourish?"

It doesn't mean avoiding responsibility or never challenging ourselves. It simply means recognising that we're all influenced by the conditions around us, and sometimes changing those conditions is far more effective than criticising ourselves.

So, what could you change around you to better support yourself, rather than expecting yourself to just try harder?

I recently saw Dr Kate Atkin talking about her book, The Imposter Phenomenon, and one idea in particular has stayed with me.

It's so easy to compare ourselves to other people, and things like social media certainly don’t help with this. We see each other's achievements and, if we're not careful, we can start to wonder why we're not where they are.
Dr Atkin encourages us to stop comparing ourselves with other people and instead compare ourselves with the person we were last week, last month or last year.

That really resonated with me.

A year ago, I wanted to contribute to a summit or conference, but I didn't have the confidence to do it.

This year, I spoke at the Creativity That Pays Summit.

I could easily have compared myself with the other speakers during the summit, but I didn't. I appreciated everyone’s contributions, and could see that I had brought my own perspective, experience and knowledge to the summit. Instead of worrying about how I compared to others, I felt genuinely glad that I had done something I'd wanted to do for a long time.

That felt like progress.

Sometimes doing the thing is what moves you forward. Not by pushing yourself so far that it becomes overwhelming, but by stretching yourself enough to discover that you can do something you once didn't feel ready for.

So, instead of asking how you compare with someone else, look at your own journey.

Compare yourself with the person you were last week. What's changed? What have you learned? What feels just that little bit easier now?