Whiteroomaesthetics

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Parents of additional needs children
💛❤️💚💙DEFIANT SPORTS 💛❤️💚💙

never thought I would have to write something like this, but after everything my family has experienced, I cannot stay silent any longer.
I am absolutely disgusted by the way my autistic 9-year-old son and me have been treated by DEFIANT SPORT in Eastbourne.
My son came home and was very distressed and embarrassed and disclosed to me that an older child, aged 12, asked him to go behind the sensory bus, show his private parts, and threatened to give him a black eye if he told anyone, and also tried to lure him into the toilets while asking to see his bottom. Whether people choose to dismiss this as “children being curious” or not, the threats, secrecy and intimidation made this extremely concerning to me as his mother.
I reported everything the next day because I trusted the club to safeguard the vulnerable children in their care. I was assured the child would be closely supervised and that my son would be safe if he returned. Sadly, I did not feel reassured at all. I became so worried that I found myself driving past the club just to check whether children were actually being supervised and safeguarded properly against this child and they were not.
No parent should ever feel they have to do that after leaving their child in the care of a club that is supposed to protect them.
Despite my concerns being reported, the child remained at the club and i felt very unheard and like i had done something wrong for reporting this.
On the second day i brought my son in i was meet with a new member of staff, i started talking to him i told him what i had reported to his manager and to ensure he would watch and my son would be watched on my departure and closely supervised throughout the day.
When I returned to collect my son, I was greeted by the manager, LORETTA, who I felt was very angry and intimidating. She raised her voice at me and said, “Right, you’ve now spoken to three or four members of staff about this!”
I was completely baffled by her response. I replied, “Yes, I have, because I want my child to be watched as closely as possible, and I want everyone responsible for his care to know what has happened.”
Instead of feeling reassured, I was made to feel as though I had done something wrong simply for trying to protect my son. It left me feeling as though they wanted the matter kept as quiet as possible rather than ensuring all staff were aware of the safeguarding concerns.
The following day, my son came home with a bleeding leg after the same child allegedly rode a bike into him. I let it go because I didn’t want to make the situation worse.
Then today, everything came to a head.
I dropped him off and went about my day, the club contacted my mum because my son was having an autistic meltdown. They couldn’t reach me as at this time i was in an appointment.
This is a club specifically for children with additional needs. Children become overwhelmed sometimes that is exactly why trained staff should know how to respond with patience, understanding and compassion.
Instead, when I arrived, I was spoken to rudely infront of my son by LORETTA again! She told me he has been rude refusing to listen and has been kicking stuff to which my son said he wasn’t in his state of upset, i replied im very sorry could we have a minute he’s having a melt down if i could just stay and calm him then we can leave
she told “well your not doing it right” and that i was doing something wrong with my parenting because he wasn’t calming down, she then told us to leave and told my son “you are taking all the time and attention and its not fair on others”
and then informed that my son is no longer welcome at the club.
To make matters even worse, when I questioned why my son was being excluded while the child he had reported remained at the club, I asked if they were saying my son had lied about what he had disclosed. To which she answered yes.”
She then proceeded to say well he’s lying now about kicking stuff so…he must be lying!
As we eventually managed to walk off the play ground she walked after us very aggressively saying well if you answered and came earlier maybe this wouldn’t of happened. I had one missed call and she then called my mother and after that i was there within 20-30 minutes !
I am beyond heartbroken. I am FURIOUS .
My vulnerable autistic child has effectively been punished after speaking up about something that deeply upset him, while I feel our concerns were not taken seriously. As a mother, I trusted this club to keep him safe, and I feel they have completely failed us and we have been made to feel like we are lying .
No family should ever have to go through this. No child should be made to feel that speaking up isn’t worth it.
I will not be letting this rest. I will be escalating my concerns to the relevant local authorities and asking them to investigate the safeguarding procedures, handling of my concerns, and the way my son and our family have been treated.
Based on my experience, I genuinely do not believe the manager handled these situations in a way that was appropriate for children with additional needs. From the way she spoke to me and responded to my son’s meltdown, I was left feeling that she lacked the understanding, empathy and de-escalation skills that I would expect from someone in a position of responsibility for vulnerable children.
In my opinion, the way this situation was handled raises serious concerns about whether the leadership and staff have the appropriate training and approach needed to support autistic children and to deal with safeguarding concerns in a professional and compassionate way.
This post reflects my own personal experience and opinions based on what my son disclosed to me and my interactions with the club. I sincerely hope no other family has to experience what we have!!!!!!
Please think twice before sending your vulnerable children here !