Kate Hoyle Hypnotherapy

This is a common frustration I hear from parents of teenagers, and it’s completely natural behaviour.

Your teen probably doesn’t talk to you as much as they used to and is unlikely to want to talk at a time that’s convenient to you.

But on those precious occasions when they DO want to talk, how good are you at listening?

It may be late at night, and all you want to do is to fall into bed 🥱. That was definitely me! But if you ever say to your child “Let’s talk about this tomorrow”, it’s highly likely you will never have that conversation.

And are you REALLY listening, or just waiting for the chance to have your say?

If you want to keep communication open, you have to be open to communication.

To help you to truly listen to your teen or pre-teen and open up those important conversations, I’ve created Connecting With Your Teen. It’s a 5 step programme, easily accessible online whenever, or wherever, suits you and your busy schedule.

To find out more, click the link:

https://katehoyle.thrivecart.com/connecting-with-your-teen

There’s a big difference between confidence and self-esteem in terms of cause and impact.

Confidence is what you portray to the outside world. It can be faked and you can appear brave and confident, even when you aren’t.

Self-esteem is what’s going on inside. It is how you fundamentally feel about yourself - regardless of what you portray to the outside world. One of the most common phrases I hear from clients tackling self-esteem issues is “people would be amazed if they knew I was talking to you about this”.

But acting confident when you don’t feel good enough about yourself is exhausting. Millions of people put a mask on everyday to face school, work, social activities … and then feel drained and failing.

Everything starts with self-esteem, and when we make that a positive feeling, it impacts all areas of your life.

Please contact me if you or your child needs help tackling how you feel about yourself so that you can reach your potential and live your best life ❤️

We often kid ourselves that we can keep on doing the same old thing and that, somehow, the change we desire will magically happen.

Breaking news: it won’t.

If your TV remote stops working, would you keep pointing it at the TV expecting it to suddenly come to life? Of course not! You would change the batteries.

If there’s something in your life that you want to change, you have to take the first step.

That could be doing some research, asking a friend, or reaching out to someone who could help you.

I offer free, no-pressure consultation calls and am always happy to chat to anyone who is serious about making a change in their life.

Where are you stuck in your life? What needs to change?

This message meant so much to me because it captures a lot about what I do.

First off, it shows the ripple effect. When you overcome something that’s been causing you a problem or keeping you stuck, it doesn’t just impact your life, it has a positive impact on everyone around you.

Second, seeing the benefits that hypnotherapy and RTT brings gives someone else the confidence to contact me. That’s why testimonials and success stories are so important - they break down barriers.

Third, I’m not a therapist who just says goodbye when your session finishes. I am focussed on results. I will always give practical tips and advice at any point - that’s the idea behind this page.

Message me if you want to benefit from all of the above ❤️

Try spending today talking positively to those closest to you and to yourself.

Notice how the whole atmosphere changes 💕

When my daughter was suffering with severe anxiety and depression, our relationship became strained.

Like most parents, I was conditioned into doing what I thought a good parent was supposed to do: get her to school each day, attend family events, keep up with her friends…

Finally, I had that lightbulb moment 💡

I realised I didn’t have to meet everyone else’s needs or expectations. The only person I needed to concentrate on was my daughter and what she needed right then.

When your child is extremely anxious or depressed, nothing else matters except their recovery. They can’t be expected to study, perform to their best ability in exams or socialise successfully until they are well.

Once I had this realisation, I was able to truly connect to what my daughter needed, to actively listen to her, and to create a much more positive relationship.

I hope this gives you the confidence to tune out from other people’s needs, expectations and opinions, and instead focus on what your child needs.

School can wait.

Exams can wait.

Family events can be missed.

All your focus should be on what will really benefit your child.

We all need help as parents sometimes. If you would benefit from advice on creating a better relationship with your teenager and supporting them, keep an eye out for my online learning resource Connecting With Your Teen:

https://katehoyle.thrivecart.com/connecting-with-your-teen

Synaptic pruning happens during childhood right up to early adulthood but has a significant impact during the teenage years and explains a lot of their, quite frankly, ‘weird’ behaviour.

Like any pruning, it’s about getting rid of the stuff that’s no longer needed to enable further growth.

When synapses are removed, it’s the brain’s way of removing connections that aren’t being used. This enables the brain to function more effectively as we get older and deal with more complex information.

During teenage years, this pruning mostly occurs in the prefrontal cortex (see my previous post for more on that). This means that there can be a gap in decision-making and critical thinking ability before business is resumed and your child can function as an adult.

It also impacts personality development - so that explains a lot!

DM me if you want more details about the impact on your teen.

Fancy, smanchy new toy - expect to see me act like an influencer with a fluffy microphone very soon 🎤🤣

Often your frustration with your teenage child will turn into accusations. “You always leave your rubbish everywhere”, “You treat this place like a hotel”, “You only ever think about yourself.”

No one can blame you for screaming inside, but starting every sentence with “you…” always points the finger towards your teen and starts the blame game.

Instead, try starting conversations with “I” as in “I’m feeling really confused by…”, or “I didn’t understand why…”.

This isn’t to make everything about you, but it takes the immediate pressure off your teen, while still enabling you to address their behaviour. It also shows that you’ve reflected and thought about how you feel rather than lashing out.

If your child is suffering from depression, be careful about phrases such as “I felt really upset when you…”, because they are likely to feel even worse about themselves for causing distress.

If you want to learn more about opening up conversations, click the link for Connecting With Your Teen:

https://katehoyle.thrivecart.com/connecting-with-your-teen

Are you coming to the Hillingdon Business Expo on Friday?

I’ll be there, so please stop by Stand 95 and say hello 👋

Everyone has a question about hypnotherapy and what it’s REALLY like. Trust me, it’s nothing like you’ve seen on a stage show. I don’t use a pocket watch ⌚and I definitely won’t get you strutting about like a chicken 🐔

If you want to know what’s involved, how safe and effective it is and why I’m so passionate about root-cause hypnotherapy, stop by and have a chat.

You’ll also be able to book a free consultation, enter a prize draw for a 1:1 session with me or a bespoke hypnosis audio.

Everyone goes away with my joy-giving 3 Minute Confidence Boost… a brilliant way to start your day 🎧

Tickets are FREE
https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/hillingdon-business-expo-tickets-1984474318106?aff=KHOYLE

📍ARC, Building 1, Sanderson Road, Uxbridge UB8 1DH
📆 Friday 5 June
🙋‍♀️ Stand 95 (importantly by the ☕️)