Naza's Motherhood Diary

I had panic attack last night mamas
I didn't understand what was wrong with my account but I couldn't find it anymore, this morning I went to my page setup and it was deactivated....Thank God we are back

Good morning mamas...How long have you been in the waiting room?

NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THIS SIDE OF THE TTC JOURNEY

I cried each time another woman who got married after me gave birth. Each time I received calls from my mum, my mother-in-law or my friend's breaking the news of a newborn especially the ones who got married after I was married.....or whenever I see videos or pictures of baby showers, gender reveals, pregnancy announcements, newborn photos from them, I would smile, congratulate them, pray for them and GENUINELY, I was happy for them. But whenever I am alone, I would cry out myself into questions:
When will it be my turn?
Will I ever experience motherhood?
Does God even hear me?

The waiting period tested every part of me--my faith, my patience, my hope, my person and my capacity, yet God carried my through every tear-filled night.

Scrolling through social media was a nightmare because it seemed like fate was after my guts--my feed was filled with baby news, birthdays etc and the funniest part of this was that I have been yrs in marriage before these people, I attended their weddings.

Every time I saw those posts, I felt two emotions at once:
I was genuinely happy for them
But I was deeply hurt

Not because I was jealous of their wins, but because while everyone else seemed to be moving into the next chapter of life, I felt stuck in the waiting room for years--5 while years of been locked up there.

There were some days my faith was strong while other days, I was simply surviving.

Looking back now,I wish someone had told me that it's ok to feel both joy for others and sadness for myself. Feeling hurt didn't make me a bad person, it made me human. The TTC journey carries emotional wounds that many people never see.

So if you are reading this and another pregnancy news has left you in tears, if you are wondering why everyone else seems to be moving forward while you are still waiting, I want you to know that there is someone here who understands how u feel and your feeling is valid.

Hold on to hope because most times, the longest journeys produce the most beautiful testimonies.

✍️ Naza's Motherhood Diary
My story, my Victory ✌️

We are growing guys, thanks for your support.
We are just few days on this space.

Is there something about my journey you want to hear?

Does my experience encourage you?

MY SILENT WALK TO THE RESTROOM

Every month comes with uncertainty, fear, anxiety, palpitations as I ran into the toilet, praying, crying, expecting the positive sign. I would sneak out so hubby doesn't know, I would check myself hoping for what seemed impossible. But it kept leaving me with disappointments. My "monthly visitor" always showed up. I would only be consoled by tears and hubby who would lead me back to the room.

If you are in this phase, I see you and you are not overdoing it.
I have my miracle now, you will have yours too.

✍️Naza's Motherhood Diary
My story, My Victory ✌️

THINGS I WISH I KNEW DURING MY TTC JOURNEY

During my TTC era, I thought getting pregnant would be easy. I looked forward to seeing myself carry my baby. Weeks turned to months and months to years, yet I was still there all to myself.

Month after month, I found myself running to the bathroom, hoping not to see my period. Every little cramp felt like a pregnancy symptom. Every delayed period filled me with hope. And every negative test felt like I was left alone on this planet.

Looking back now, there are so many things I wish I knew during my TTC journey.

- I wish I knew that not getting pregnant immediately didn't mean something was wrong with me.
- I wish I knew that comparing my journey to other women's journeys would only steal my peace.
- I wish I knew that social media only showed pregnancy announcements, not the tears, waiting, and disappointments behind many of them.
- I wish I knew that stress, guilt, and self-blame wouldn't make the process any easier.
- I wish I knew that asking for help wasn't a sign of weakness.
- I wish I knew that my worth wasn't tied to two pink lines on a pregnancy test.
Most importantly...
- I wish I knew that one day, I would look back and realize that every tear, every prayer, every doctor's appointment, and every sleepless night was part of my story and never the end of it.

To every TTC warrior reading this:

Your journey may not look the way you imagined it would, but please don't lose hope. Your story is still being written. Be gentle with yourself. Celebrate small victories. And remember that you are more than your TTC journey.

Today, as I hold my little miracle, I understand that the waiting season was one chapter, not the whole book.

If you're currently TTC, know that you're not alone. I see you, I understand you, and I'm rooting for you.

Naza's Motherhood Diary
My story, My Victory ✌️

Do you notice that babies do change? I mean, my baby did skip sleeps at night while my mum was still here for Omugo but that wasn't a regular habit.
Recently, my baby keeps me awake almost every night. She keeps babbling and laughing loud till dawn😂

Right now she's sleeping and I also have to utilize this period before she wakes up🫣

Mothers in the house, are there people with similar experience or am I alone?

Please let me know if it's normal or abnormal
I will be in the comment session