I think people should know about my abusive EX

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I have thought long and hard about somethings about this "loving" relationship I was in.

I'm glad I'm out of it.

I'm thankful that I don't have to spend the rest of my life making up excuses for the way he acted.

I'm glad I can go see friends and have a great time. I had forgotten what it was like to go out and not have "someone" constantly calling checking up on me.

He would call and text any time I was out with friends threatening su***de and threatening to leave.

I couldn't have friends.

He hit every female friend I ever introduced him to.

He hit on my sister and daughters.

He blamed his hitting on other women on his brain injury because his "filter" was broken and he just couldn't stop from saying things that he thought.

He lied to many of my friends about me, just to drive a wedge between us so that I would have no one to talk to.

When I told him that the things he was doing, in front of me, were disrespectful towards me, then he hid them better and lied to my face about them.

When I told him going to see and talk to my female friends (alone) was unacceptable and disrespectful, he lied to them about us being together so that he could do it anyways.

I really cut deep when I found out he was hiding his truck behind someone's home so that I didn't see him at their home "having coffee and visiting" someone if I went to the store while he told me he was gone to play guitar at his friends.

I heard a real true statement not long ago: Be careful of that 3rd voice because that 3rd voice really wants to be heard and really wants to be 1st. Now thanks to him and what happened I absolutely believe that...

He lied to my face for years and no one told me or questioned him.

Now I no longer trust anything my old female friend says about that situation because why would a friend do that?

The amount of the lies he told on me is unreal but since they believed him the reality is that they were not truly a friend anyways.

He isolated me from everyone.

I couldn't even talk to neighbors without being accused of sleeping with them.

I kinda feel sorry for the friends he still has and whoever his next victim is but then again they kinda deserve what they get.

The mental abuse was just as bad, if not worse, than him poking me and chest bumping me when he would get mad about anything.

No one knows what it was like being in a relationship with him but me.

Some people did hear some of the things he said to me.

I really thought things would change and go back to the way they were when we 1st got together but I really think it was all just an act that he put on.

As time went by the real him came out.

As time went by the worse he got.

Bruises heal. Bruises go away.

The things he said will be there forever.

Verbal abuse is real.

I probably won't be alive long enough to heal from the damage he did to me but I'm gonna damn sure try.

I feel sorry for anyone that believes his bu****it.

The reality is that a leopard doesn't change it's spots and when I found out he was abusive to his ex I should have gotten out then but I believed his version.

People should realize that if "someone" is abusive to one mate they will be abusive to another because your no more special than the last person and that is a hard lesson to learn.

I was told I just needed to accept that I had lost.

Lost what exactly? A lying cheating abusive man that did nothing for me but nickel and dime me to the poor house?

Is his being out of my life a loss? Nope it's not.

Is finding real happiness and peace a loss?

I think that is a great big win for me....

My life is the worst Twilight Zone episode ever... I find out that she knew about me and knew he kissed me and said he loved me on our anniversary and his reason was he didn't want me to know his address - does that make any sense at all? I mean WTF he sent me GPS cords before that when the past 3wks in January he had been asking me to come live with him. But to top it all off she said she knew all about it so he was scamming me for a car and she knew it the whole time??? I mean what kinda people do that stuff to other people? So he hasn't been the only lier she knew about me and she approved of his text saying I love you and his phone calls to me - she said she knew about all of them so she was in on it too. How the hell is it that I'm the bad guy for demanding him to be honest with her only to find out that she knew about me the whole time? I really don't understand why people like that are still alive... I also caught on to the fact that he tried to apply to be a foster parent to her kids after they were married and thought he could make a check off them now that is just a great scam if I had ever thought of it. But his past speaks volumes and a tiger doesn't change his stripes he is a predator and he found a new target that has kids young enough to groom... Worst fu***ng episode of The Twilight Zone EVER!!!!

Can someone tell me why if a man hit on my daughters I shouldn't tell social services about his pattern for doing what he's doing? He sells his pain pills, his family won't allow him around his nieces friends, he calls me while he's away from her - so I'm trying to see some reason why I should not call and tell the truth to the only people who might give a f**k about her kids... Cuz apparently she sure the f**k don't...

Is telling the truth worth it if it saves kids?

It's pretty funny that while I had nothing better to do I decided I should look back on my text messages and see if I was just crazy or was I right...

Was he still with me when he conned this girl half his age to move in with him a week after meeting him on New Years Eve 2019/2020...

See he likes to delete his text so there is nothing in his phone to read...

I never delete my text because I'm gonna have the proof of what you say to me and what I say to you...

I wonder if she is going to be surprised to read where he was telling me that he loved me all thru Jan 2020?

Telling me "I love you" after he had moved her in to his ex-brother-in-law's place just doesn't sound like he had broken up with me yet...

I wonder if hitting on my son's ex-gf AFTER meeting his current wife Evelyn means it was really "love at 1st sight" with him? Because that doesn't sound like love to me...

I talked to a therapist today and she said somethings that made a +.

She said that not only did I deserve better but so did his newest con target aka wife and that I should have already told this woman the truth since he wasn't ever going to tell her the truth without being forced to tell the truth! To take that trip that I would feel great about it!

So it's opinion time!

If a man gives you a big hug rubbing all over you, gives you a BIG DEEP KISS and says I LOVE YOU when he sees you on 1/26/20 (on your 5yr anniversary) BUT leaves out the fact that he had moved in another girl 2/3wks BEFORE... Moved her in with him a week after meeting her on New Years Eve... My question is:

IS HE CHEATING ON ME OR HER OR BOTH?

It's odd now that I look back on everything that I can tell exactly when he hit on each different woman. After he would hit on them THEN I wasn't allowed to be their friend or hang out with them anymore for whatever reason he made up. Every single time.

He refused to come to a neighbors Thanksgiving dinner that they cooked in 2015. Why? Because her sister that he had hit on and that had turned him down was there with her husband. He said he needed me to bring him a plate because his back hurt. No - that wasn't the reason at all, I just didn't know the real reason then. He was just afraid of me finding out he had hit on her.

When he hit on my friends 17yr old daughter he would freak out every time I went over there after that without him. He would freak out and call every 5mins asking when I would be home. I made her daughter (the same one he hit on) a formal dress and he called over and over and over - demanding that I come home and picking a fight with me about how I was doing for them and not taking care of him. I just didn't know that was why he was acting like that. I really thought it was because of his "brain injury".

Funny thing is my friend said he seemed a lot calmer nowadays so he changed something. I said "yeah he did, now he doesn't have to lie to me 24/7 so he's a lot less stressed" lol...

I may lol or even actually laugh about it but it tears my heart to shreds every time I think about the years that I wasted on someone that was lying to my face every day since the day we got together. It was all a lie every single moment was a lie. And I know I want someone to love me the same way I love them but the reality is that will never happen...

I'm just too broken now...

Why would the EX have an alone phone conversation with me? Why the f**k you so quiet and voice really low? I'm not stupid... I know when someone is hiding a fu***ng phone call... Why not have it in front of the new wife? All I was telling him was a mutual "friend" (she was a 25yr + friend of mine that he wanted to have a 3some with who I told him NO and he then accused me of fu***ng her without him) was murdered this weekend.

Why would that AS***LE ever end that type of conversation with "I love... click"...

DU***SS... I'm not as stupid as I once was... He almost got caught by her...

I always thought I could or would see a pervert predator from a mile away and never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would bring one in my home. Only now I see the lies for what they are only now I see the clues. It sucks to see how stupid I was to believe the s**t about a brain injury.

I was approached this week by a girl seeking help because she (actually it's they because it was more than one girl complaining about him) just wanted him to stop hitting on them and making crude nasty comments about them while they are working. I can't help them with him because we are not together anymore. I had to look in this girls eyes and tell her I can't help you and the brain injury story is just that, a story. It's just a crutch that he uses so he won't get in trouble for his inappropriate remarks. I had to hear how he has been coming into her work place for several years and making comments to them and hitting on them - FOR YEARS and how it is still going on as of 2wks ago so marriage didn't change a thing. He's still doing it.

What a POS. And these are young girls! They are barely over 18yrs old. Who does that s**t after they are married? Hell who does that s**t to females over half his age? He is 49yrs old and these girls are just turning 18 and he's making their work place miserable.

I felt really bad for the girl. She apparently drew the short straw and got the job of talking to me about the situation for all the women he is harassing at that job. I had to look at her and say handle it how y'all want because I can't help you and maybe talk to his wife. She was shocked to find out we were no longer together and that he had married a woman, he totally forgot to tell them about his new wife! But I just felt bad for her to even have to look me in the eyes to talk to me about his inappropriate actions.

I walked away thinking hahahah not my problem anymore at all hahaha but then I was like yeah not my problem at all but he has gotten this woman with kids to marry him and he hates kids but he's bending over backwards to try and get them in the home with him OMG it all makes too much sense now, all of it. And it made me sick to my stomach to even think about a pre-teen being in the house with him, someone he can groom to thinking that his actions are all ok, turning in to a teen that thinks it's ok for him to be like this. It turns my stomach and makes me physically ill to think he will try to sleep with them and they will think it's ok because he has a "head injury". This is wrong on so many levels.

She will think not my child, he would never treat my kid(s) that way and she will be just as wrong as I was.

I'm very thankful that my daughters and sisters are grown women, not little children, that told him to cut that s**t out. I'm thankful that they didn't grow up with him. I'm thankful they didn't have to stay in a home with him every day, day in and day out.

I have to deal with the fact that this man drove a wedge between me and every friend I had and he drove a wedge between me and my kids. Not just because of how he treated me in front of them but how he treated them when I wasn't around. A wedge because of how uncomfortable he made them when he hit on my daughters and they felt like they couldn't tell me because they didn't want to hurt me. I have to deal with the fact that my sisters felt the same way.

I have to deal with the fact that when I look back, I know each and every time he was inappropriate with someone because that was when there was a problem with me being around them. Every single time.

Suddenly it was phone calls picking fights so I would have to come home to deal with it. Suddenly these people were trying to break us up or trying to set me up with someone new because they suddenly hated us being together. His words not mine. It was phone call after phone call while I was with them wanting to know what I was doing.

He told me lies about them so that I would stay away from them. He told them lies about me so they would stay away from me. He intentionally put those wedges there so that he wouldn't get caught being inappropriate with them. It was calculating and deliberate.

Think about all the lies he had to cover up. No wonder he was so stressed about s**t.

BRAIN INJURY MY FU***NG ASS!!!

But now he has a fresh target. A target with younger kids that he can groom. His new target, his new wife, she is just grateful someone wants to help her get her kids back and I know that feeling.

But I know he's still doing the exact same things he was doing because I got the hey can I talk to you about an issue we are having with him. Marriage didn't change anything about his inappropriate behaviors. Didn't change a single thing. I even thought to ask about when this happened - oh its been happening for years but most recently it happened about a week and a half ago. I didn't know what to say other than deal with it as y'all see fit.

No one wanted to say anything because they knew we already had issues and they didn't want to add to them.

No one wanted to say anything because he couldn't help it, he had a "brain injury" and that was hard enough for me to deal with so they didn't say anything. He plays that one excuse to the bitter end...

His family covers for his inappropriate actions because he has "issues" so they feel sorry for him. I also think it's because they are tired of dealing with his bu****it. They are grateful for someone else having to deal with his s**t storm of a life and all the problems that he causes.

His friends laugh it off because well that's just him. But they know not to leave their wives girlfriends or kids with him because of his past inappropriate actions and words. But they still laugh it off cuz well ya know...

No one wants to tell her because they don't want to hurt her. I completely get that, because no one wanted to hurt me either, BUT for the sake of those KIDS someone needs TO TELL her! Someone needs to make her understand that she married a guy she only knew for 3wks, a man that promised her everything and mistakes like that can be fixed.

But the mistake of bringing your kids into the home with a PREDATOR, that you don't know, CAN'T be fixed EVER! She will never be able to fix that mistake if she makes it. She can never give them back their childhood. She can't give them back their comfort, their feeling of safety or their trust. She will lose that forever. She has no idea of the reality of what he really is. Someone needs to stop that train wreck before it happens...

I feel like I'm living in some horrible lifetime movie and I can't stop the train wreck that I'm watching from the outside. Because now that I'm watching it from the outside I can see what he did and is doing. I know that there is nothing that makes her and her kids more special than me and mine, except hers are young enough to groom properly to never tell and to think that his way of acting is normal.

No one wants to be on either end of these conversations - ever...

I finally found my treadmill and inversion table - under a pile of fu***ng wood waist high!! How can someone be so damn insecure that they would rather their mate stay over weight and unhealthy, to the point it was going to kill them, be so damn insecure that they would HIDE something that would help that person get healthy???? This is all the wood that was piled on top of my treadmill....

How can it be that I was so desperate to have someone in my life that I wasted a whole 5yrs of my life? "L" has lied to people about me so much that I am embarrassed in front of my neighbors most of the time. I wonder what other lies will come to light during conversations with them. Because of "L" I hardly speak to anyone. I used to be very outgoing and social even with my disability, but not now. Now I no longer trust people.

I know my life is much better without him. I no longer have to take meds for being a diabetic because my sugar is staying down. I'm no longer taking the antidepressant so I've lost about 30lbs. I'm not on meds for high blood pressure anymore. My last reading was 108/68 and that was after my taking my narcolepsy meds.

My doctor told me that most of my medical issues were directly related to the stress I was under because I felt like I was walking through a field of mouse traps 24/7. I was always in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and I would have to deal with being called names and accused of sleeping with my friends, neighbors and roommates.

No one knows how bad it could be for me except for my roommate. She heard it many times.

My niece told me the other day that I was once a very happy person but that a couple of years ago that changed. She said she could always tell when he was blowing up my phone and arguing because my body language would completely change.

But it doesn't change the fact that I was so blind to reality and no one told me what was really going on untill after we had split up. I wish people had sat me down and said look this is what he's doing and has done. People knew he was making sexual remarks to other women/girls or to them and no one wanted to tell me because they knew we were already having issues and didn't want to make more for me. I can appreciate that. I really can. But it just helped him create a better illusion of love to me and my life choices would have been so different had I have known the depth of what was going on.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought that he was saying the things that he said about me. Never would I have thought my time would be wasted on dealing with someone who claimed to have a serious brain injury but when he had to he could control it 100%. It was all a lie and a scam for me to pay his way. That reality sucks.

So yes I wonder what is wrong with me that I keep picking these crappy lying cheating men to make a life with?