She Is Clothed In Strength & Dignity-My Journey With Breast Cancer

It's been 7 months since my last post. In that time, I have received so many texts from friends and family asking for updates on my health journey and "what was left". Today, my once daunting checklist is empty. Chemo-done, double mastectomy-done, radiation-done, reconstruction-done. This time last year I was just recovering from the physical implications that chemo had put my body through and mentally preparing for the biggest surgical procedure I had faced thus far in life. Today, I just wrapped up some work and I'm about to workout, take the dog's for a walk while listening to a podcast, and get ready for the kids to start getting home from school...and I will do it all MOSTLY without ever thinking about where I was just a year ago.

The hair that I lost (I estimate about half), is now about 4 inches long and starting to fill in..and as you can imagine, this new growth has provided plenty of laughs for my kids as I can wake up with some incredible morning hair (I'll post a pic if you're lucky)... My eyebrows and eyelashes are nearly back to normal. I'm jogging again, lifting weight I haven't been able to do for awhile, not needing a daily nap, and I now see my breast surgeon and oncologist twice a year...instead of every 3 weeks. In the car yesterday driving to her softball game, Finley and I were talking about a "pink out" tournament her middle school team will be playing in and she said "I sometimes still can't believe that you had cancer-and sometimes I forget". Life feels..normal and wonderful....But, different. Because now, it won't ever be the same as it was before I was diagnosed with cancer. My body will physically never be the same, and I will never live freely like I did before diagnosis. Because now, I have to pay attention to EVERYTHING. That's hard for most people. It's even harder for someone like me who spent their entire life as an athlete playing through injuries, toughing things out, and training my mind to believe that I didn't feel what I actually felt. I'm rewiring my brain to listen to my body, and pay attention to any changes while trying to balance the worry about something that could be concerning and something thats totally harmless.

Since reconstruction, I have had a lump in my breast, near the same spot my cancer was found. My plastic surgeon felt confident it was scar tissue. My breast surgeon agreed but ordered an ultrasound to be sure. I walked into the same office where just a year ago I laid on a table and looked at a radiologist who sat 6 inches away from my face and performed a needle biopsy tell me "I don't like what I see". This time, I felt no anxiety as I waited for my ultrasound to confirm that the lump I felt in my reconstructed breast was merely scar tissue. In the ultrasound, the tech began the procedure and within 2 minutes got up and said she wanted to show to the images to the radiologist. Fairly immediately, they ordered a mammogram to be totally sure that what they saw was nothing of concern. I waited in a room with nearly 20 women, all in gowns waiting for their imaging. I wondered, "have any of them gone through what I have"? "Are any of them scared like I was"? The nurse came and got me and asked me to wait to discuss what was found with the radiologist in her office. A wave of emotion came over me and I felt like I had been transported back in time to the day I had originally been told my diagnosis. As the radiologist explained that she thought everything looked fine and that she wasn't concerned about the lump I had found, I realized that this was my new normal. The nurse smiled at me and said "this is great news-no more worrying" and I smiled and told her I was so thankful. I changed into my clothes and walked out of the office with a clean bill of health, and as soon as I did I burst into tears. I should have been relieved, and I was...but it felt jaded. Because, life will never be the same...and while that's hard I'm beginning to be ok with it and wrap my mind around what it means.

My last follow up appointment with my oncologist was booked as a "survivor follow up". I don't know why, but the word "survivor" doesn't feel like enough. I'd prefer to change it to "survivor and thriver" because those of us who have beaten cancer haven't just survived it-we have learned to continue to find our joys and seek happiness and normalcy despite the setback.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own". -Matt 6:34

I run into people frequently who say "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that!" and while I am so thankful for their empathy I always think "everyone goes though really bad things at some point in their life...it was just my turn". Today, while I focus and get lost in the beauty of life each day provides I also stay focused on the verse above...to continue to THRIVE in spite of the new normal that being a "survivor" brings. TO be a better version of myself because of what I went through.

I'm not sure when or if I will post on this page again. To everyone who has commented and messaged and prayed because you took the time to read my journal, thank you. You have been such a blessing in this journey, and just as every doctor and nurse who watched me ring a bell or walk out of their office for the last time said, " I hope I never see you again"....I hope I never need to update you again on this page, and that this journey we went on together can be closed.

Final prayer request: for strength in my "new normal" and for cancer to never be a part of my story in the future.

Pics to show just how much we are surviving and thriving :)

It's been almost 2 months since my last update. Thanksgiving and Christmas were hectic, a whirlwind, and wonderful and totally exhausting in all the right ways.

I officially finished up with radiation the Monday before Thanksgiving. Chemo ✅ Double Mastectomy ✅Radiation ✅it felt really good to check that off my list. My skin did really well through the 25 treatments, and I only noticed some slight pinkness the last week. Driving 25 minutes to the hospital everyday at 9 am 25 days in a row got old. But, each day that my mind started to tell me I was annoyed to be making that drive, again I would remind myself that I had made a vocal promise the day I was diagnosed that I would do ANYTHING to get rid of this cancer, and that I would be joyful while doing it. I was so happy to finish radiation, but after the last session ended, I felt....sad. I had friends in that office. These nurses saw me everyday for almost a month, knew me by name, knew I had 3 kids-their names, interests, and how they were handling me being in treatment. I knew things about them and their families. On Fridays we would share our plans for the weekend and on Monday mornings they remembered my plans and asked me about them. After the machine shut off for the last time and they came into the room cheering loudly, they hugged me and told me they would be praying for me and told me that they would miss seeing me but hoped they would never see me again...and then we hugged again as we all fought back tears because we all knew that what that really meant "I hope you never have to go through this again".....People are GOOD.

While I could list off a lot of things I don't like about Facebook, I have to admit that I have found such support though its various groups. A group specifically for HER2+ breast cancer fighters and survivors helped me get through chemo. Women with my exact type of cancer doing my exact regimen of chemotherapy all in a group to share their experiences. I even met a woman from Memphis who had all 6 treatments on the same day as me. One of her kids even shared my name...we exchanged numbers and through 6 treatments, we shared our experiences, hardships, and kept each other on track. We read the same daily devotional book and often times would text each other about something we read that kept us grounded and hopeful. We prayed for each other and for each others families. Kimberly Parnell Clark, we are sisters for life! I was also in a Paxman scalp cooling group that supported me through using a cold cap to try and save my hair. The group was full of women who had also cold capped sharing videos, tips, shampoo recommendations, and how to advocate for yourself. Most recently, I joined a group created solely for women using mepitel film, which helped me to become the 2nd only person in my radiation oncology office to successfully use this film developed at the Mayo Clinic to protect my skin from radiation burns. The film was suggested in one of my other groups and as I researched it I knew I wanted to try it. When I brought it up in my rad-onc initial appointment they were super supportive about applying it for me but noted that I was 1 of 2 who had ever used it so I'd need to research it and order it myself. When I went to order it from the Mayo Clinic, I realized the shipping time to get to me was going to be weeks longer than I anticipated and that it wouldn't make it in time. I went back to my Facebook group and asked if anyone had extra I could buy. Within minutes, a fellow survivor had messaged me asking for my address and overnighted me an entire box of film (enough to get me through all 25 sessions). When I reached out to her for payment she insisted that this was her calling now...to keep film on hand for women like me who need it quickly, and to get it to them in time to use during radiation. When I went in for my first day of radiation, I was nervous I would have a hard time applying and that the nurses would too since no one else had really ever used it. When I got there and nurse took me into the room to prep and said "I watched videos all weekend on how to apply this for you-I think I have it down"!.... People are GOOD.

Just before the holidays I received a text message from an old friend that I used to work with at a summer camp during college. He is one of those friends that lives far away, and oftentimes we can go many months without texting. He has zero social media. But, he always texts me when he is in town visiting family over New Year's and we make an effort to sit down for coffee and catch up. This particular text came and I realized we had not texted since January last year..just a few weeks after we had sat down for coffee at the start of 2024. He sent his usual, "hey! Im in town-let's meet for our annual cup of coffee and catch up! What's your latest update? How is Jonathan? How are the kids? etc?" I thought...he's never going to believe what Im about to tell him :) After I filled him in on my year and my diagnosis he asked< "maybe its all still too fresh and raw for big realizations but Im curious what kinds of new wisdom you've gained from this experience?" Wow. What an insightful, thought provoking question.

I think it can be best summed up with this quote, "write it on your heart that everyday is the best day of the year". Perspective and experiences can change your outlook on everything. Things that used to make me complain now fill me with gratitude and joy... all because I've been through something that made me realize how much I love this life of mine. Lastly, people are good. People are REALLY GOOD.

Prayer Requests:
-continued healing of my skin post radiation
-direction on how to manage my follow up care post final treatment

Next Up: Reconstruction. Minimum of 6 months recovery after radiation to give skin time to heal, so looking at Spring 2025.

Today is my 40th birthday. Last year, when I blew out my candles for my last year of my 30s it never even crossed my mind what the next few months would be bringing. 3 months later I would go in for my first mammogram (a year earlier than I was supposed to-Thank the Lord that I did) and be told I had breast cancer. In November of last year I had no clue what it meant to fight for my health, to pray boldly, to lean on friends for so much that I would prefer to do on my own, to find a way to see the good in my life while physically challenging my body in ways I never had.

Today, I laid on a hard metal table in a big, dark room with a lot of huge medical equipment all alone on my birthday. I took deep breaths when the nurses came over the microphones and said “deep breath in…hold” so that my lungs would inflate enough to shield my heart from the radiation that is to follow. A normal session takes less than 5 minutes. Today, the machine seemed to be off-and the nurses came over the intercom to tell me to be patient as they were having some issues with the machine. I called back, “no problem, I’ll just use this as my quiet time for the day”. I closed my eyes, and just as I did “what a wonderful world” by Louis Armstrong came over the speakers in the room. There is always music playing gently as I do my radiation treatments, but today I was keenly aware of the song that was playing and although I already know every word by heart, I listened intently and thought about closing a chapter of my life in my 30s and beginning a new one in my 40s. “I see trees of green, clouds of white. The bright, blessed day and the dark sacred night”…this year has brought some heavy, scary stuff. It has challenged me mentally, physically, spiritually. It has also opened my eyes to look through life with a different lens. Sawyer’s still tiny hands but missing two front teeth (my last baby…), Finley’s quiet strength and determination and how proud I feel every time she looks up and smiles at me when someone says “she is your mini me”, Cal’s foot almost fitting into my shoe and when he reaches over to grab my hand, how it feels all of the sudden much bigger and stronger than it ever has. “I hear babies crying, I watch them grow. They’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know”. I hear over the intercom “ok, we are up and running-deep breath in-hold”. 20 seconds of a breath hold, and the lights turn off and I hear “ok, sleeping beauty you’re all done!”. I sit up to see my two nurses standing with smiles on their faces holding flowers-“Happy 40th Birthday” they shout and each hug me like we are old friends. “And I think to myself, what a wonderful world”. This will be my best year yet.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou

My village wrapped up my first Breast Cancer Awareness month as a fighter/survivor in epic fashion. Last weekend, my 10u softball team that I coach went all out decorating our tent with a combo of Halloween/Pink. The parents all had matching pink shirts and the girls wore pink hair bows, pink ribbon socks, and glittery pink eye black! It was heartwarming to feel so loved and supported by our softball family who has been beside us since diagnosis last Spring. Last night, we had our last Fall practice, and with about 10 min left, a parade of people dressed in more pink than I’ve ever seen marched through the side gate of our field with music and a banner and cheers. It literally took my breath away. There I stood, looking at my Milton village of friends who have helped to carry us through this fight stand and cheer and celebrate. My friends, my family, my kids friends, my softball family all in one place showing love and support. We will never be able to truly thank you enough, but I hope each one of you knows that we will never forget how you have made us feel ❤️

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

In my last post I shared that Cal's middle school was having a "Pink Out" for breast cancer awareness month and would be raising funds for Turning Point Breast Cancer Rehabilitation Center (where I am a patient). This afternoon I received a call, "Hello, Mrs. Beck? This is Cal's principal...DON'T WORRY HE'S NOT IN TROUBLE :) I did want to share that your family raised the most funds out of anyone in our school, and he just spray painted my hair and beard pink and duct taped me to a wall."

I bought the t-shirt, some bracelets for the girls, and I know my mom donated. But, I know he didn't raise the most funds just from our donations. I wasn't given a number, but I know that many of you donated to Cal on my behalf.

I have learned a lot about myself since February when this all began. But, I think I'm most proud of knowing that I have a ridiculously amazing village. We knew we had good friends and family, but we didn't know how much we would need you or how much it would mean to every part of our family to have you in our corner holding us up day after day. Not sure we will ever be able to thank you enough for the love, support, donations, etc. But, I hope you know it means the world to us. Today was special for Cal.

Today I completed radiation treatment 3/25. So far, so good!

Cal's principal and front office staff shared these pictures with me...

Yesterday I received an email from my son's middle school about a breast cancer fundraiser they are about to start. Their goal is to raise $6000 to donate to Turning Point Breast Cancer Rehabilitation Center, a place that has become near and dear to my heart as it is where I have been going for post surgical treatment. They provide support, physical therapy, and their goal is to get breast cancer fighters and survivors back to normal life (as much as possible) during and after treatments and procedures. Turning Point is the only organization of its kind in the Southeast and is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. My therapist is a breast cancer survivor herself, and has turned it into her life's mission to help breast cancer fighters and survivors not only get through their journey, but THRIVE while doing so. Many people don't know what recovery looks like after a double mastectomy, I had no idea until I went through it myself. Serious range of motion issues with both or one arm, lymphatic issues after lymph node removal, muscle spasms in the chest where tissue expanders are stitched into the muscle, total loss of feeling or sensation to the breast and underarm area as all nerves have been removed, phantom ghost pains where breasts and nerves used to be, and so much more. Without places like Turning Point, patients are sent home from a major surgery without the resources to help them rehabilitate. While I am very fortunate to have health insurance that covers my physical therapy, many do not. Turning Point never denies a patient-insurance or not.

There are a number of wonderful non profits associated with breast cancer, and I am so thankful to the amount of time, energy, and money that is poured into breast cancer research. As a Her2+ breast cancer patient, I was told the day I met my oncologist that if I had received this diagnosis 5-10 years ago it could have been a death sentence, and instead of talking about a cure we would have been talking about how to extend my time. Thankfully, through a massive effort to uncover new treatments for Her2+ patients, Herceptin a monoclonal antibody was found to block the growth of human breast cancer cells that had HER2 amplification and over expression. Herceptin and targeted chemotherapy has given me and many others the ability to fight and survive breast cancer. What a blessing that there are so many researchers who are able to continue finding new ways to treat and cure breast cancer due to the funding that comes from so many amazing non profits.

If you are looking for a wonderful place to donate this month in honor or Breast Cancer Awareness, please consider Turning Point.

If you would like to support my son's school fundraiser and Turning Point, please use this link:
https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fnorthwesternpto.membershiptoolkit.com%2Fform%2Fm%2F310022&data=05%7C02%7Cmcmichaelrw%40fultonschools.org%7C3773d2ad861f48105c6108dce93932f1%7C0cdcb19881694b70ba9fda7e3ba700c2%7C0%7C0%7C638641679142405408%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&sdata=ufuejtBs8ItQSHxu7fCxyMR4P7Q0%2BG73r%2BcQ1uN%2F1Q8%3D&reserved=0and

If you know my son, Cal then you know his heart. He is empathetic, thoughtful, GOOD TO THE CORE. He is just like his dad-nice to everyone he meets. He has loved me so well, has physically and emotionally cared for me, and has grown up and stepped up through my fight. There were many days during chemo where I would look out to see him cutting the grass without anyone asking. When we go to tennis, he rushes over after his lesson to help me fold up my chair and insists on carrying it for me to the car. He cried tears of joy and relief when we rang the bell after chemo. He will be rocking pink in honor of his mama, and he is so, so proud. If only he knew how proud I am of him. If you would like to add my son's homeroom so he gets credit for the donation and help his class win some donuts, his teachers last name is "Joyner".

Thank you to Northwestern Middle School for your support of Turning Point and for breast cancer awareness month!

This past week I met with a radiation oncologist to discuss whether or not radiation was recommended for my case by the oncologists and radiation oncologists on the hospitals tumor board. It was decided that based on my age, initial lymph node involvement, and the lack of research on skipping radiation in my age group that it would be best for me to complete radiation on my left side.

Strangely enough, this news brought relief. I guess I had prepared myself for radiation all along, and the abrupt possible change in plans made me a little uneasy. Maybe it was God's way of letting me know that this was His plan for me all along and the feeling of relief was letting me know that this was the answer to my prayers I was looking for.

I'll be doing 5 weeks of daily radiation starting in late October-25 total rounds is the standard for my case. In an earlier post I made over the summer, I shared a lot about our summer home in Michigan that I was able to get to for a 10 day stretch right before my last chemo. It was everything I needed to get to the finish line in the chemo marathon. Funny enough, I'll be starting radiation after a week long trip up to Michigan for our Fall break. Throughout this journey, I have learned that not only does God provide strength and courage when you need it most He also finds ways to provide rest and respite as well. This week will be a nice getaway with the family, free of work, school, and youth sports to recharge the batteries before another stretch of treatment.

While I don't know much about what to expect in terms of side effects from radiation, I have been prepared for short term side effects like minor to major skin irritation to the site, burning, blistering, localized discomfort, and the most common side effect being fatigue. Long term serious (and thankfully less common) effects can range from lymphedema, lung damage, heart damage, secondary cancers. To be blunt, radiation is no joke. But, I've trusted God's path and direction this whole time and the longer I have been on this rollercoaster, the stronger my faith has become and my ability to let go and lean in has only gotten stronger. I'm confident and trusting that I am in good hands with our team, and this 5 weeks of treatment does give me reassurance that I am doing everything I possible can to prevent this cancer from ever returning.

Prayer requests:
-low/mild or NO side effects from radiation
-for my story to reflect the glory of God and His goodness ALL THE TIME

Send a message to learn more

I have been sharing my journey for 5 months now. Each update concluding with specific prayer requests. Some have changed depending on what we were going through at the moment, but one specific prayer request we have boldly prayed for from my very first post: "a complete response to chemo"...this request has always been important as it meant that following surgery, I wouldn't need any further chemotherapy and that it drastically reduces my chance of recurrence in the future. It means that all the chemotherapy I endured killed the cancer cells and that my body responded to treatment very well.

This past Tuesday, one week after my surgery, I received my full surgical final pathology report.

6 lymph nodes removed-All regional lymph nodes benign and no evidence of primary tumor.
Right breast-Benign, no malignancy detected.
Left breast-No residual invasive carcinoma detected after pre surgical therapy.

A complete response to chemotherapy!

Praise God for this major victory in my journey, and all glory goes to Him!

In my very first post, I shared about the long journey ahead of me. I remember those early days struggling to do anything. As we waited for answers, we struggled with the lack of knowledge or direction that we so desperately wanted. I was so consumed with fear and worry that I couldn't function at times. I stayed awake at night praying for God to help me. After meeting with out pastor, I followed his advice to pray boldly and specifically for what I wanted God to do in my life. Then I took those prayers and used social media to share them with you. Many of you then shared my requests with your church, your friends, your family, your co-workers, your Sunday school classes...I received letters and texts from people constantly letting me know they were praying with me and for me...and I felt it. As chemotherapy began, and Gods plan began to unfold, I was able to stop trying to plan and figure out my future. Instead, I was able to begin to sit back and allow God to open and close doors for me as I continued on my way. Surprisingly, I discovered through it all that I was able to enjoy so much of my life even when the days were hard. I realized I was stronger than I thought I was, I learned my kids are more resilient than I knew they could be, and I became ok with letting others hold me up when I needed help instead of trying to be tough and do it on my own.

A true pivotal moment for me in this journey was when my mother in law shared her morning devotional reading (she would later give me her book, "Jesus Always" and it has become a part of most of my posts I have shared). I printed the picture of the text she sent me and hung it on my mirror in my bathroom.

March 18th-"Strive to live more fully in the present, refusing to worry about tomorrow. Striving involves devoting serious effort and energy towards something: it usually includes struggle. You must exert continual effort if you want to live present-tense in My Presence. It's essential to resist the temptation to worry-you will never run short of things that can provoke anxiety. However, remember that each day has enough worry of its own. I carefully calibrate the amount of difficulty you will encounter on a given day. I know exactly how much you can handle with my help. And Im always near-ready to strengthen, encourage, and comfort you. Keep bringing your thoughts back to me whenever they wander, I will take great delight in you and rejoice over you."

This enabled me to dig my feet in deep to my foundation, and set a course ahead as we waded into the unknown. Knowing full and well that I had no idea what was around the corner, I could get through anything with God as my foundation and with the mindset that I was not going to let the devil steal my joy along the way.

Through my own prayers and the hundreds, maybe thousands of prayers that went up on my behalf God has led me to where we are right now. Today, we celebrate the answered prayer God granted for me to have a full response to chemo and thank Him for listening. Thank you for praying specifically and boldly on my behalf. One of my favorite quotes through this journey has been "The devil whispered in my ear: you aren't strong enough to withstand the storm. I whispered back : I am the storm". But, I'm changing it up a little bit after this news...after all the prayers that I know went up on my behalf... I whispered back, "WE are the storm".

As we move forward knowing I won't require anymore chemo, we are now faced with "what's next?" Changing research and updated trials are changing the treatment path for breast cancer as we speak. At the beginning of my journey, radiation was always a definite. We learned yesterday that this may be changing. Newer research is showing that patients like me who have a full response to chemotherapy and have surgery may not require radiation. While not having to do radiation would be great for my body I am conlficted at the idea that not doing radiation could leave behind microscopic cancer cells not picked up by pathology. Radiation has been coined the "cleanup crew" because it is said to kill microscopic cancer cells left behind in any tissue that wasn't removed during surgery. My oncologist will be taking my case to the tumor board next week to discuss at a roundtable with the hospitals radiation oncology team to decide whether or not I should receive radiation after my pathology report.

Prayer Request: Please pray that God would lead the doctors to a decision that is best for me and best for keeping me cancer free.

Please pray a bold prayer of thankfulness that God answered our prayers, and that all glory goes to Him on this massive victory in my journey with breast cancer. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Send a message to learn more

Today marks 3 days post double mastectomy, and I am home resting and feeling stronger with each day! Sitting still isn't something Id list as a favorite activity, but slowing down has felt oddly refreshing...I've gotten pretty good at allowing others to help me out, and I was terrible at it before all of this began. We continue to be amazed at the outpouring of love from our friends who have not stopped taking care of us. I've never understood when people say they "feel prayers", but I do now. Coming out of this surgery has me feeling a renewed sense of spirit and gratitude. I don't know if its because when this all began, surgery seemed so far down the road and I'm just thankful to be here...or that along the way, I have learned so much and been able to see things in a different light and I'm just much more grateful for everything all around me. The kids have continued to be incredible caretakers and they delight in helping me with whatever I need. I have watched as God has molded their hearts to help them to learn to be gentle, helpful, empathetic, and to pray. The night before surgery, we moved the "snuggle chair" (the chair I rocked all my babies in) into my bedroom, next to my bed in preparation for my surgery since I am unable to sleep flat for several weeks. Sawyer asked if she could sleep in the chair next to me. We were chatting, her in the chair and me in the bed and she abruptly started to say her prayers.."now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep..." I joined in, and as we finished up and I said, "Amen" she clasped her hands together and squeezed her eyes shut and began to pray silently on her own. I just laid there watching her for about 2 minutes while she continued in silence and I was a mixture of emotions because I knew what she was praying for. Earlier that day she was asking me questions about the surgery and finally said "what if the surgery doesn't get rid of your cancer, mama?" And I told her not to worry beause the chemo and surgery were going to do their job. She said, "how do you know?" And, in that moment I felt this peace come over me and I told her that I just believed it in my heart that God was healing me and that everything was going to be ok. She smiled and that seemed to suffice her for the moment. I have found that as much as it troubles me to see my kids pray for me because they are worried, it also makes me immensely proud and thankful that they have the understanding that prayer works and also that they have a relationship with God that allows them to talk to Him about their concerns. After her prayer was over, she closed her eyes, reached out for my hand and went to sleep.

This mornings daily devotional says..."I broaden the path beneath you so that your ankles do not turn. I don't want you to focus on what is ahead of you-wondering whether you will be able to cope with it. Only I know what your future really holds. I want you to realize how intricately involved in your life I am. I delight in taking care of you-tweaking the situation you are in, to spare you from unnecessary hardship. Remember that I am a shield for all who take refuge in me. Your part in this adventurous journey is to trust Me, communicate with me, and walk with Me in steps of joyful dependence.

Surgery went well, everything went as planned, and I feel much stronger than I anticipated. I spent a night in the hospital after surgery, and leading up to it I know the kids really wanted me to come home afterwards. They kept asking if I would have to stay, and I kept reassuring them that either way I would see them that day or the next and everything was going to be fine. While in recovery, I was very groggy coming off of anesthesia and having a hard time staying awake. I overheard Jonathan on the phone with my mom and he said that someone had dropped off a delicious dinner (Thank you Jennifer Schrepel!) and she was going to drive it down so he could eat it instead of cafeteria food. She planned to just meet him at the main entrance since the hospital didn't allow visitors under 12. Sawyer had another idea and boldy asked to come up and visit me while on speaker phone with Jonathan and the nurse overheard. Jonathan sort of looked at her like "any chance?" and she got this huge smile and said "sure!" As soon as they walked in the door, the fog lifted, and I woke up. They sat on the bed with me and rubbed my arm, held my hand, asked questions about all the things, and told me how pretty I looked...it is one of my favorite memories with them. What a joy and blessing to be so loved.

We continue on this adventure, stronger, one step closer to what feels like a finish line. We continue to wait on pathology results that will determine the next steps. But, whatever road we face I know that God is broadening my path and shining lights on the blessings we continue to receive each day.

Prayer requests: Clear pathology from surgery, recovery from surgery with no complications, strength for my kids, and most of all for my story to open the hearts of those I come in contact with to share the good news that God is always with us and preparing a way for us.