Lazy Straw

LazyStraw™ Vision

LazyStraw™ exists at the intersection of humor and healing — a quiet protest against the exhaustion of surviving post-divorce custody, litigation, equitable distribution, and alimony withholding abuse.

Raising awareness for:
• Post-divorce domestic abuse & violence
• Custody abuse used to control or retaliate
• Weaponized litigation meant to harass and silence

Through wit, weirdness, and a straw that refuses to sit upright, we hold space for truth-telling, safety, and subtle resistance.

Some days, advocacy looks like filing motions.
Some days, it looks like root beer in bed.
Either way, we sip on.

⸻

🥤✨ 🎬 Movie night last night, and Lazy Straw took one look at the cap and said,
“Nah, I’m going through it.”
Peak laziness — or peak efficiency?

Meanwhile, I’ve been literally going through it—heading back to court Monday (tomorrow), once again trying to enforce my divorce decree. It’s been 22 of the last 24 months since the divorce, and my ex has withheld what I was awarded—which is my livelihood.

To make it worse, he’s used those very funds to hire two law firms to sue me, harass me, and subpoena every inch of my financial and personal life since we split.

It’s exhausting. But I’m still standing. Still sipping root beer. Still showing up.
Hope your Sunday is lighter than mine, friends. 💙🥤

Because hydration should come with zero effort, and one curious cat.

Introducing the official LazyStraw™ vibe:
✔️ Designed lying down
✔️ Built on a couch
✔️ Approved by cats who think it’s theirs

We’re not just sipping — we’re starting a horizontal revolution.

🎼Lazy Straw, Lazy Straw, Lazy Straw, Lazy Straw…

Just a girl, a couch, and a life-changing straw I made with my fiancé.
✔️ Works while horizontal.
✔️ Doubles as a cat toy (against our legal advice).
✔️ Launched from my living room in under an hour because… lazy.

Tag a friend who drinks everything lying down. Or a cat who thinks they own the house.

Visit TikTok to discover videos! Watch, follow, and discover more trending content.

When your cat thinks LazyStraw™ is the new deluxe toy… but it’s actually your emotional support hydration system.


🚨Disclaimer: LazyStraw™ is not responsible for feline ingestion, entanglement, or dramatic zoomies. Please keep out of reach of cats with poor judgment or unresolved beef with gravity. Not a chew toy. Not FDA approved for cats. Consult your vet, your therapist, or your cat’s lawyer.

TikTok · Lazy Straw Check out Lazy Straw’s video.

🛋️ LAUNCH POST 🚨
Ever been so done with life you needed a straw that reaches you… horizontally?

Yeah. Same.

Meet LazyStraw™
💤 $8 per 2ft
📏 Up to 50ft of pure, unbothered bliss
📲 Pay with Venmo → [QR image]
💬 DM me: length + shipping address

Because some days, you hydrate… horizontally.

You asked. I measured.

💰 $8 per 2 feet — custom LazyStraw™ lengths up to 50 feet

Because your drink should always come to you.

📲 We take Venmo and Cash App
DM to order.

✨ First Post:
Yes, I invented a straw you can drink while lying down.

Why?
Because my ex has has sued me for 22 out of 24 months divorced.

So yeah—I’ll ship your LazyStraw™ as soon as I have a vertical moment.

Thanks for your patience.