Touch Of Valentine
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Yesterday was a really tough day. Depression came knocking, and anger burst through the windows. I tried hard, but ultimately, I decided to let them roam, but not freely. I challenged them by asking, "Since you want to be here, what energy am I resisting, or what lesson am I not allowing myself to see?" They seemed a little shaken, and I was still frustrated.
Today, their message lingers as I process my fear of having nothing without my business. This is mixed with that old belief that working for others always ends with getting fired or deciding to quit because the environment just isn't worth my energy.
As I was journaling, I noticed a huge pattern. A "survival mode" mindset is blocking the keyhole... or rather, it was blocking the keyhole. That small change in wording right there? That's the progress. I was so centered around my business that I completely forgot to put myself first. I put my business first in hopes of supporting the life I'd love to live and exemplify. But somehow, my business ended up masking everything I felt unworthy of or distant from... Me!
Running this business was never just a hobby. It was my way of creating a life I could stand behind. I found something I was good at, something that helped me survive.
But lately, I haven’t been feeling so great. The behind-the-scenes weight of running a business, especially as someone who’s Black, q***r, and self-funded, is a lot. And while I see the “support small, support q***r, support Black” messaging everywhere… I often wonder what that really looks like in practice.
I’ve been exhausted. For years, I’ve poured everything into keeping this business afloat, sometimes at the cost of my own needs and desires.
I said I wanted to be a living example of how supporting me means supporting something bigger. But I’ll be honest, I’ve lost touch with that desire. Right now, I’m just trying to reconnect.
There’s a guilt that creeps in when I think about asking for help. Like asking means begging. And begging feels like I’m devaluing my work. But I’m learning to reframe that. Asking is also a form of trusting. Trusting that my work matters. That I matter.
What does it feel like when the support fades and the money disappears?
Are you able to accept yourself without the comfort of validation?
I won't lie.... it's hard.
Hard to feel motivated.
Hard to feel worthy of joy, of softness, of life itself.
When I first faced these moments, I drowned.
Then something shifted. I created an oil — one I’ll be making again — not to fix the pain, but to feel connected through it.
To feel a little more rooted, even when the world felt hollow.
I decided to put failure back into my vocabulary.
Not as shame. But as reflection.
If you cook a meal and burn it, you failed to eat what you wanted.
That’s real. But it’s not the end.
People say, “failure isn’t real” I disagree.
What they’re trying to say is this:
Don’t let failure become your identity.
Explore it. Learn from it. But don’t give up.
Failure doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means a turn was missed. A lesson appeared.
And now, you get to decide what comes next.
Because you're still worthy.
Even on empty.
Even when it’s hard.
Especially then.
06/03/2025
Midnight Seduction was the first fragrance I made as a business.
I wanted something subtle yet noticeable.
When I made Midnight Seduction, I found myself accepting my energetic and spiritual calling.
To honor that moment:
Midnight Seduction is a sultry blend of hibiscus, musk, vanilla, and earth tones. This special batch is infused with hibiscus, cardamom, and rose herbs to enhance the magic of self-confidence and allure.
For Black History Month, I tried my best to stay consistent with a Black and minority-centered message. Now that it's June 2nd, I think I’ll day-late this idea. But make it more personal.
For me, I never had to learn to be Black. But I had to learn how to embrace being not hetero. I fought God for years.
"I’ll compromise and identify as bisexual so that I can sleep with women (never did) and still sleep with men."
I never really found women attractive though.
"What if I married a le***an and we secretly explore our lifestyles together?" Never did that.
I had to continually invent an image that wasn’t me.
"Dude, you’re gay."
I can’t say that I struggle with being gay. Well, actually, I did for a few years. That was the birth of Valentine. Non-binary. Q***r. Black energy.
Maybe I’ll do this every day. Or maybe I’ll do this once or twice a week.
Support me because I am a real q***r business.
I have spent years striving to center q***rness in my work. Survival mode wanted the big cash out without the crash out.
This year I planned to launch a perfume, but it did not feel right.
Instead of focusing on a fragrance, I want to highlight how supporting me supports our local q***r community. Building something real takes time, care, and community. I am not trying to perform. I am building with purpose, and every bit of support helps me move forward without burning out.
03/02/2025
🖤🦇🖤
IT'S OUR 3 YEAR CELEBRATION!
JOIN US on Saturday, March 22nd at 8PM for IT'S FREAKIN GOTH NIGHT - THE 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY. We are so glad to be here and cannot wait to celebrate with you!
DJs Rex Havok, v4mpirebait, and Creepgrrrl will be playing all the spooky hits for y'all to get your freak on. Pop-up drag performances with Lady Houston, Victor Z Vandyke, and The Sinful Abattoir will be sure to put you in the grave, and vending will be available from Touch of Valentine and Fractal Dreams Studio.
Valentine has made EXCLUSIVE scents as well as a magical oil just for this event, so be sure to check it out!
This event is 21+, gothic attire requested. Presale tickets are available on Ticketbud for $10, $12 at the door! Cash, Venmo, and Cashapp will be accepted. There's also an ATM on site, make sure to get some $1s to tip our scream-worthy performers!
HARD RULES: Hateful or otherwise unruly behavior will not be tolerated. We are here to have fun and celebrate our creepy community - please keep it respectful!
See ya soon batties 🖤🦇
Get tickets here > https://ticketbud.com/events/9bdf3978-eff1-11ef-87fb-42010a71703c
02/07/2025
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11/27/2024
Sale Drive: To help Avery's Emergency Surgery Cost.
Give me two weeks to ship.
Midnight: only offering 1/2 ounce bottle.
If you donated, I'll work something out đź–¤
Click here to claim your Sponsored Listing.
