Lindsey Marie Barber

Speaking Boundaries with Love
(PART 2)

Speaking Boundaries with Love
(PART 1)

Today's dating culture calls for us to be dynamic in our approach. It is no longer about being too masculine or too feminine or a nice guy or a bad boy

Instead we get to integrate the two in a playful dance of Attraction Dynamics.

You’re so excited because you found a great connection and you just had an amazing first date.

You text her to set up a second date and she says…..

“You seem like a great guy, I just did not feel a connection.”

This happens over and over again for many men.

The worst part is that you feel like you have so much to offer her and you really though she was into you.

You begin second guessing yourself all the time because women don’t seem to say what they mean.

If I was really a great guy, why did she not go on a second or third date?

The Main reason why you’re not getting second dates and building a relationship with your dream woman is because the flirty, confident man she was texting with was not the man who showed up on the date, or you said you wanted to build a long term relationship and you escalated way too quickly for her to ever trust you for more than money or s*x - and high value women don’t want that.

What matters most to high value women is that you are emotionally available, can stand on your own and lead at her level, you make decisions based on your values, you have integrity in word and action, you’re willing to assert your boundaries, and you just want someone to compliment you and build a legacy with.

When you discover what is truly holding you back from being authentically confident and assertive in all aspects of the dating process, then you can actually transform your “weaknesses” and insecurities into your greatest assets.

This is what high value women want and this is what FULFILLED successful men and women do in their careers consistently over time.

Also guys - these things are the foundations of a healthy partnership that both men and women get to step into.

This is what I show men how to do.

I show them how to stop attracting catfish, red flags, and gold diggers and start attracting peaceful, joyful, pleasurable and stable women who choose you as much as you choose them.

Authenticity goes both ways and insecurity is not your true self.

You are worthy!

Follow, Comment or DM me to learn more!

How to Write the Bio and Content of your Dating App Profile.

💌 DM me “APP” if you want to set up your Dating App profile for success and start getting on high quality dates!

❤️

Colin came to me after a breakup and then we realized there was a deeper pattern that was causing him to end up in the kind of relationships he had in the past.

As highly successful and giving person, it was at first hard to spot his challenges.

When we dug deeper we found the opportunity and the solution.

Watch this video to understand the specific tools I shared with Colin that empowered him to regain his confidence in himself and hope in dating.

7 Tools to Get Over Your Ex or your Online Obsession.

Watch to the very end for an extra inspirational message!

These are several tools that will help you process your feelings so that you can return to authentic peace and happiness in your life.

Some of these things might seem funny, childish or even weird to you but they actually work when all aspects are incorporated as part of a daily or weekly routine.

❤️‍🩹 Take Space physically and on social media

❤️‍🩹 Express your feelings in a safe container (DO NOT STUFF THEM)

❤️‍🩹 Examples: Journaling, therapy, with a coach or a friend

❤️‍🩹Breathwork, Primal Scream, Yoga, Meditation and other

❤️‍🩹 Emotional Release and grounding techniques

❤️‍🩹 Soothe, Encourage and Parent Yourself - reframe your experience

❤️‍🩹New Personal Goal or Vision to focus on

❤️‍🩹Hope, Mindset affirmations, and find encouraging people to inspire you

❤️‍🩹 Thought shifting and Pattern Breaking consistently overtime

IMPORTANT: So instead of letting “Time” heal the pain of the break up, ghosting or betrayal…..
I encourage you to see how you can let go of the pain and the power you are allowing your ex to have over your heart within just a few weeks. All it takes is willingness.

It does not have to take months or years and you do not have to repeat the same pattern over and over again.

DM me “PEACE” if you want to learn more and I will reach out with next steps.

❤️‍🩹

The best way to be confident is to tap into the feeling or frame of confidence.

The simplest way to practice confidence is to first get comfortable with yourself and how awesome you are and what you have to offer in a relationship.

This might be challenging for some of you who have a lot of negative self talk or past experiences that were challenging.

However, I want you to start to see confidence like a muscle that gets stronger as you stretch it, work it out, and stop eating all that junk food— your negative, self-deprecating thoughts!!!

Some simple ways to boost your confidence:

1. Regularly enjoy a hobby you are really great at
2. Meditate
3. Get more sleep!! (When you are tired your survival brain is more active)
4. Listen to uplifting music
5. Write a list of all the things you have to offer as a man
6. Acknowledge yourself in the mirror daily for accomplishments small and large
7. Reward yourself
8. Be willing to “fail” and still reward yourself
9. See everything as an opportunity for growth
10. Laugh a lot
11. Exercise
12. Dance
13. Reframe negative thoughts to positive self talk
14. Treat rejection as a neutral event (ooo this one is tough but honestly it feels better)

Stay tuned for more!

If you have recently or ever been betrayed in dating or in a relationship and have been unable to get past this to regain your sense of trust in yourself and trust in other people then this is for you.

The main reason why betrayal sucks so much is not just what the person who does the act that was breaks their word and does something forbidden, but actually the whole point leading up to the betrayal that most people don't ever really grasp in a relationship.

The things that they could have done to prevent the affair, or let's say maybe it's even someone steals your money or something like that.

Whatever form of broken trust, a broken agreement.

The reason why you want to look at it from a completely different perspective, even if it was really messed up and you would never approve of what they did or even trust them again

Is that this is going to help you accept the situation, which is key in letting go of resentment and pain associated

The worst part about betrayal and the feelings associated with broken trust is that the justified resentment festers in us and keeps us from moving on.

So but getting to the real solution here, ironic as it is, is part grieving, reframing, and then a choice between fear or trust going forward

This is the reframe: The person who committed the betrayal was for some reason, unable to express their needs.

They had unmet needs felt unsafe to express their needs, or were wanting wanted to escape their needs, wanted to abandon themselves, didn't like how they felt.

And again, I'm not saying that that's your fault or anything like that.

It's just that, that something that could have been discussed, right?

And creating the space in the container for that kind of discussion together is extremely important and going forward in establishing trust.

It's extremely important to be able to create safety, which is basically where people can express how they feel and they are heard and validated.

And that's what we're going to talk about this week. Is creating trust, maintaining trust, and rebuilding trust when it's been broken!

Stay tuned!

Meet My former Client Dan!

Before Dan had started working with me, he had gone through a pretty traumatic breakup.

It had been almost 2 years and he still could not stop thinking about his ex and he had a lot of negative self talk.

Through the visualization and letting go of the past pain, and positive self-talk he was able to create a whole new life for himself and a healthy relationship with a woman who truly cares about him.

Congratulations Dan!

The other reason why I am introducing you to Dan is that he will be taking some of my initial Discovery Calls

So when you sign up for a call with me you will first speak to him on a short call to make sure we can actually support you.

And then if we can help, you will get to have a full hour-long consultation breakthrough call.

This call will give you a new awareness about yourself, dating and relationships such that you can take distinct action and get the kind of results you actually want in dating and relationships.

Please feel free to reach out to him or ask him questions as he is a valuable resource!

💌 DM me if you want to heal fully from a breakup and stop repeating past unhealthy relationship patterns so you can find your true match!

Meet my former client Brett!

Before we started working together Brett was anxious, over-analyzing, and trying to fix an unhealthy relationship with a woman who was avoiding him.

He felt frustrated, betrayed, and could not let go of the relationship.

In our time working together, I showed him how to shift out of overthinking and have faith in finding a healthy relationship.

Today he is in a loving relationship with a high quality woman who values him and is emotionally available.

I’m so happy for you Brett!

❤️