Widow Warrior Rising

Grief comes with a lie.

The lie is “I’m fine.”

The truth is I am not fine and that is ok.

Often it is easier to say “I’m fine” instead of the truth.

At times it isn’t worth explaining to someone why we are not fine…still.

We encounter questions of “Oh, You are still grieving?” With the response of “Yup, he’s still dead.” (You can laugh there, it is true. We come back with what we feel others don’t want to hear.)

Grief causes distance due to others not wanting to witness our continued grief. This is where we find our true people. The ones we don’t have to lie to and say “I’m fine.”

I ask you wholeheartedly today my Widow Warrior Rising friends, How are YOU feeling at this very moment in your loss and grief that comes with now manual or gauge of metrics to know how we should feel.

How and what do you feel at this very moment in your grief?

The sun is shining.

Warmth of the air fills the sky with beautiful clouds.

Birds are singing. Wind chimes are blowing making a beautiful sound.

Children can be heard laughing and playing, enjoying the day.

All so much of brightness glows around , yet within I mourn.

I feel dark. I ache. I yearn for you.

Our pillows need me.

Our blankets are begging me to stay.

Your spot in our bed I lay unable to force myself out of bed on this sunny day.

I listen to my body and rest some more.

In my mind I hear you say, “It is ok. Rest your pretty face. It is ok to just lay.”

No one tells you how hard life will be.

I am here to tell you there will be days of energy to clean your home, complete all the errands, get to the gym. Other days there is debilitation of the mind, body you may not move from your favorite spot.

This is ok.

You are grieving, allow yourself to rest. You are doing enough. Your mind is in a constant battle of just trying to survive.

You are ok.

Grieve how your body asks you for today.

For today I will rest and lay.

Widow Warrior Rising

“I’m here” was whispered.

“But I can’t see you.” I said.

“Do you feel that sun warming your skin?” was said.

“I do, it feels nice.” I said.

“Do you hear the wind chimes and the breeze come across your cheeks?” I heard.

“I do, it is wonderful.” I said.

“That eagle soaring overhead, do you see that?” I said.

“Yes. Look into the woods my sweetness do you see that deer?” I heard.

“I do, how do you see it? How did you know?” I said.

“Because my honey. My sweet Babes, I am here closer than you think. All of these feelings, sights and sounds is me. I am here.” I heard.

My heart warmed with the filling of all emotions of presence.

“Is heaven beautiful?” I asked.

“Oh honey heaven is. You see, I get to look at your beautiful face all day long.” I heard.

“Will you continue to be here along side me?” I asked.

“Always. I am always within you, around you and beside you. I never left, I am here. Just look at the sunlight, feel the breeze, look for the hummingbirds and cardinals. Watch for the rainbow and listen baby to all of our songs. I play them for you so you know I am always here.” I hear repeatedly and feel in my heart.

Always - Written by Gillian Grater
Widow Warrior Rising

The sun is shining.

Warmth of the air fills the sky with beautiful clouds.

Birds are singing. Wind chimes are blowing making a beautiful sound.

Children can be heard laughing and playing, enjoying the day.

All so much of brightness glows around , yet within I mourn.

I feel dark. I ache. I yearn for you.

Our pillows need me.

Our blankets are begging me to stay.

Your spot in our bed I lay unable to force myself out of bed on this sunny day.

I listen to my body and rest some more.

In my mind I hear you say, “It is ok. Rest your pretty face. It is ok to just lay.”

No one tells you how hard life will be.

I am here to tell you there will be days of energy to clean your home, complete all the errands, get to the gym. Other days there is debilitation of the mind, body you may not move from your favorite spot.

This is ok.

You are grieving, allow yourself to rest. You are doing enough. Your mind is in a constant battle of just trying to survive.

You are ok.

Grieve how your body asks you for today.

For today I will rest and lay.

Widow Warrior Rising

You were my greatest hello, my deepest love, my warmest hug, my sweetest kiss.

Every chapter was the greatest love story I have ever read page by page.

You see, we held the pen to our story. We wrote each day of beautiful sunrises with all inbetween to the most glorious sunsets.

We traveled, we rested, we laughed, we cuddled. We made love. We lived and loved always.

Our story was left unfinished the day you were stolen from our world by the hands of another.

There is no ending. Our chapters are still being written as I live for you. I will continue your laughter, your smile, your quick wit and kindness.

I will be your voice and speak your truth.

Our story isn’t over. I hold the pen until we meet in heaven again.

Widow Warrior Rising

Widow Warrior Rising space is grief, loss, shock, tenacity, bravery & against all odds rise with boundaries, kindness, grit & grace through grief. Welcome to this same space. I am sorry you are in this grief club you never signed up for.

You are not alone. 🤍🪽