The Bridal Beauty Team Orlando

I woke up this morning with flashes of memories and certain people from my past and present in my head. Anyone who knows me, knows I love my sleep. So waking up at 7a on a day off is unheard of.

I had a sinking feeling ands no matter how much I tried to distract myself I couldn’t relax or go back to sleep.

I sleep with thunderstorm sounds playing but I just needed quietness. So I ran a scolding bath and drank cold water from the fridge. Water replenishes me most times I feel this way. I left my phone in my room and opted out to play calling music forgetting I left the thunderstorm sounds playing.

As I sat there doing my best to explore these feelings inside that disturbed my rest so deeply I could hear thunder. And I remembered, “pray in my Native name”… Zhaawanong Binesi Kwe-Southern Thunderbird Woman. Still unsure what I was praying about, I just asked to reveal what was eating at me.

I took the first freezing cold shower in years just hoping my body would make sense or at least calm me. But the emotions coming up were betrayal, abandonment, and sadness.

As I sat there slapping product throughout my hair, attempting to find a way to make myself feel better, a thought finally appeared.

It is time to let go. Lately I have been feeling distant from many loved ones old and new. Maybe life finds a way between some relationships and sometimes people decide without telling you things have changed and distance themselves. Either way, both can be heartbreaking.

The holidays are always bittersweet but mostly s**t because it’s now been 19 years without my parents. But this feeling was something else. I had my ears, eyes, mind and heart open… ready for a message.

It’s been years since I’ve really opened up on social media. I think the last couple of years everyone on this earth shifted and went through amazing changes, “good” & “bad” and I became quieter. Unlike the younger version of me ready to make noise about everything on my heart.

So I decided to share once again.

I came onto FB. Opened the memory tab for some weird reason. Saw a couple pix with exes. Nope def not the feeling I was feeling. Opened one more memory and alas the reveal.

Today is my mother’s anniversary of passing. I was 9 months pregnant sleeping with my sisters in the family room of the hospital, knowing my Aunty, her youngest sister was by her bedside, waiting for her to pass on. There is no time in the hospital when you’ve been there for 2 weeks. But I remember us waking up, walking in and knowing she was gone. We sobbed but I was ready to let her go. Nothing like the time I had with my father’s passing just 8 months prior.

And it hit me. Yes I’m sad she is not here but that was her time. And mine to be who I needed to be without her. Who that is changes but I will always be the strong loving, mother, sister, aunty and friend she helped me become.

So it got me really thinking, as now the tears fall. But my chest feels relief as my heart begins to heal writing this.

It is time to let go of people and relationships because you will always be a better person because of them. I am releasing anyone reading this and feeling in their heart their time has come to an end in my life. I release regret, grief, or any other emotion you might have. I love you, I forgive you, I forgive me for anything I’ve done on my part to bring this time faster than I’d hoped. No phone call needed, no words spoken if that’s in your heart.

My mother had this message for me today. A reminder that no matter how much you love someone, they will come and go for a reason, a season or a lifetime. And letting go, expressing your heart, or being open for reconciliation will always have its place. But I am letting go today all sadness today and replacing it with gratitude… in honor of my mother’s passing. Everyone gets a free pass. Unfollow me or reach out it’s up to you.

And I’m allowing myself to do the same.

Clear your hearts y’all. The “anniversary”of another year is about to pass but so is everyday.

Hold your loved ones close and don’t take for granted those who choose to be a part of your life and journey, short or long road.

Love you all!!! Happy holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and better days.

-Angelica ♥️

🥰😍

And just like that… I raised a woman!!! 🥹😭♥️

AC Bᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ Tᴇᴀᴍ🌟 on Instagram: "I will travel this earth with you a million times just to see the beautiful wonderment in your eyes and shining smile every time. To watch you grow into this magnificent woman has been the greatest and AC Bᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ Tᴇᴀᴍ🌟 shared a post on Instagram: "I will travel this earth with you a million times just to see the beautiful wonderment in your eyes and shining smile every time. To watch you grow into this magnificent woman has been the greatest and unmatchably wonderful experience of...

Hi Darlings!!! I am back from being hacked!!! Now to figure out how to use Meta!!!