The Present Parents

So many people use punishment in relationships because it is the best tool they have to express the pain of rupture.

To say, “this hurt and I need you to know.” Or “this hurt and I need you to feel it. Maybe if you feel it you will stop.” Or “you hurt me, now I hurt you.”

But this only reinforces unhealthy relationship patterns and keeps you from repair and healing so that you can develop healthy relationships.

Accountability is the path forward. It’s a specific set of skills. Learning to tolerate the pain you are in and being able to articulate it to another, and learning to tolerate the pain you have caused another so you can face it with them. Language for both. And then acknowledging the discrepancy betweeen what you’ve given and what they deserved. (Or what you’ve received and deserved) and then making a plan to right the discrepancy.

Then continuing to work together until the discrepancy is no longer there.

Returning to your source of pain for comfort? Baby, no.

Hi sweeties. 💛 Hello

A hottie with a body. Of evidence 🥵 going to bat 🤭🫣

Not the come back I was hoping for 🫠 but here we are 🤭😬

Hi friends

Inner child healing. Come heal with me. lol

Some people have thoughts that scare them, that they don’t even feel safe talking to their therapists about. These thoughts often lead people to believe they are bad for having them and people end up suffering in silence feeling like the only option is to stuff them down.

The ego gets a really bad rap. Responding from ego is really useful in situations where someone has bad intentions but absolutely ruins relationships where there are good intentions. Learning to recognize which situation you’re in will help you determine if you should keep your ego up as a shield, or when to put it down to let another in.