Five Elements Psychotherapy

Private Practice is a challenging venture. I've been trying to get here for over a decade...

Five Elements Psychotherapy - Counseling Counseling offering Telehealth or in-person appointments. Insurance accepted. Paperwork can be filled out online. Schedule an appointment today. Contact us at (971) 266-1581.

I'm often providing information for parents who are less than willing to follow recommendations.
We live in a culture and community that is reluctant to hold each other accountable and set reasonable consequences for unwanted behaviors. Last year, I volunteered at my son's elementary school field day. I was advised by one of the other volunteers to tread lightly around the 5th graders who swore and were bigger than the other kids. At first, I was curious about the response. As time passed, some of the kids started to swear to themselves, to each other, but not to the adults. When I confronted one of the kids, he glared at me and asked what business I had confronting him. I was stunned. The teachers dismissed their actions, the other volunteers were afraid to confront them and everyone moved on as though this was normal behavior.
There is something seriously wrong when a society, instead of looking at every opportunity to create a healthy and supportive society, instead recommends that teachers carry guns to combat violence. And yet, when confronted with routine disrespect, it is considered "corporal punishment" to have children do push-ups or some other physical activity as a form of discipline.
No-Drama Discipline, a book about parenting with compassion, reminds us that discipline stems from the noun "disciple" or "student". It is important for parents to teach their children to respect their elders, no use profanity or violence to solve their problems and address things in a compassionate way.
One of the many ways that we are creating healthy "learning" environments for our children is by removing consequences. This is unhealthy and unhelpful. We cannot remove the consequences, because children need to learn from normal, natural consequences. By only providing rewards and reinforcements for positive behaviors, we discount and ignore the inherent challenges and difficulties in the world.
This lack of consequence fosters entitlement and disrespect.
Alternatively, if we don't deal with things and they build up, we, as adults, become frustrated and overly punitive. The consequences need to be clearly communicated, regularly reinforced and reasonable for the behaviors.
This lack of experience with disappointment and facing consequences then creates adults who also do not know how to deal with consequences, failure, and ultimately resort to extreme behaviors to meet their needs.
As a parent, do what is right and provide your child with reasonable opportunities to learn through both consequences and rewards. Both need to be tied to the behaviors in ways that are meaningful and reasonable to the child.

I continue to read and research parenting skills and styles. My son is 6, now. I often get comments from people and questions about my confidence as a parent. My philosophy is that I continue to research and gain training and education to be the best in all of my careers. I want the latest parenting strategies and skills. I also know these skills will fit into my other careers.

Never stop learning, training and reading.

Take 10 minutes out of your day for everyone you love and meditate.

Family systems is a very interesting study. When I first explored personality and identity in undergraduate school, I was given a project to write my own theory. I based my research and theory on the solar system, unaware at the time of family systems theories.
I often wish my professor hadn't thrown out my graded (pass/fail) assignment and returned it as he indicated he would. I often reflect back on that project.
Today, a discussion triggered the memory of that theory. As I was contemplating it, I was more aware of the smaller, elemental relationship between family members, similar to protons, electrons and neutrons.
There are some families that are so volatile when in relation that they, like the basic earth elements, can erupt. Some elements in that chain dominate other elements, causing them to become something else (mix sodium with almost any other element, changing it's base properties).
When an individual embarks on a healing journey, if the rest of the system does not partake in a similar journey, they are left behind and forced to adapt to the "new" person. Because systems are predicated to maintain homeostasis, they often become reactive/volatile/aggressive to this perceived threat to their balance. Families attack or reject the "evolved" person in their healing process. The individual must then make a choice to also reject their health and well-being, or regress to their role/position/status in the family system.
More often, that role is an unhealthy adaptation that propagates the identified patient. An individual with a mental health disorder, such as schizophrenia, who is in an unhealthy, unaccepting family system, will continue to act out. The symptoms will continue to progress and in some cases become destructive.
The asylum treatment never worked, because the clients would often return to their homes, feeling better, refreshed and healthy; while the family system continued to maintain the status quo, unaware that the system itself perpetuates the problem.
I often experienced that while working with severe mentally ill patients and their families. Many times the family just "wanted everything to be normal," unaware that what was happening is normal for that system. Many times clients families with withdraw a client prematurely because progress isn't happening fast enough, or their family member has made enough progress to be determined acceptable.
We have a mold that we want everyone to fit into and when someone doesn't fit into our own perspective, we often reject them or try to force them to conform. This is the sad, historic danger of hegemony. We are witnessing this play out in many various ways in our culture right now.
Some cultures, countries and communities recognize that cultural/social trauma is real and dangerous. They have made progressive steps to universalize mental health treatment and de-stigmatize health and well being. As a mental health provider, I often go into treatment, not because I'm depressed, anxious or out of control, but because I want to continue to evolve. I also want to prevent the cycle from impacting my son, my clients and my community.

Violent Talk in Young Children | Berkeley Parents Network My 3.5-yr-old started preschool last fall, and I have noticed increasing violent language from him. He has always been very sweet and obedient--to a degree that other parents comment on how well behaved he is. Now he comes home from school, talking about superheroes and bad guys, and saying ''I will...

Mental health issues continue to permeate the news. Sadly, most mental health disorders are mislabeled, unnecessarily judged poorly or treated as a contagious disease that needs to be quarantined.

Unfortunately, there tends to he an overemphasis on psychosis. Psychosis is a challenging experience for anyone. The person, family, friends, society.

People who experience psychosis, though are generally not violent. There are a few bad eggs, though for the most part, psychosis is a spiritual experience. Some psychosis becomes self-destructive. It can be frightening to those who are unused to seeing these expressions.

Schizophrenia Spectrum Disorders are the most common type of psychosis. Pop culture often incorrectly describes schizophrenia, though. Most media references, including writers like Richard Riordan, who wrote the Olympiad Chronicles, describe schizophrenia as multiple personalities. This common misunderstanding comes from the root word, schism, or split. True split personalities are rare and often confabulations.

The more accurate and clinical definition of schizophrenia/schizophrenic is a split, or break, from reality. The symptoms include: intrusive sensory input (auditory, visual or tactile hallucinations), bizarre, often paranoid beliefs of conspiratorial or persecutory nature, hyper-religious focus, and obsessive thoughts. These are only a few of the more common experiences.

Treatment and interventions are possible.

As a society, we need to embrace mental illness, not continue to persecute and blame this marginalized population. We also need to continue seeking effective, inexpensive treatment.

Creating the space to meditate is a challenge. The further I move from my contemplative practice, the more irritable, dysregulated and disorganized I become.
Find that center and take that moment for yourself to realign with the breath.
Square breathing: Breathing in, hold, breathe out, hold, repeat. Each segment is the same 4-6 count.
Baseball counting (7-4-9): Breathe in for a count of 7, hold for a count of 4 and out for a count of 9, repeat.
Body Scan: While centered with good posture, either sitting or lying down, take a brief inventory of your body, noting aches, pains, impulses and numbness.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Siting or lying down, flex and relax each body part for a count of 3 and repeat 2-3 times.
Mindful eating: Sitting down at the table for a meal in silence. Notice the scent and taste as you take each bite. Place the utensil down between each bite. Slow down your meal to enjoy and appreciate the sacrifices made to provide that food, from the source grain/animal, the distribution, the preparation and finally the enjoyment.
Have something to look forward to as you go through each challenging moment and day.
When you find yourself being particularly negative or destructive, count the inverse of your challenges. So if you find yourself focusing on the few things you didn't get done, instead appreciate the things you did accomplish, even those that are seemingly insignificant.