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Morning all ❣️

Be Careful What You Say to Your Spouse. One Sentence Can Leave a Scar for Years.

A man reached out to me. He wanted me to talk to his wife because, according to him, she listens to me and he felt that if I spoke with her, she would listen.

They were already on the verge of divorce, and he wanted to know if there was anything that could still be salvaged.

So I said, “Okay, I'll speak with her.”

We got on a call. The man seemed like a sweet man, in my opinion, and the woman also sounded very calm.

I asked them, “What's the problem?”

The woman spoke. He spoke. But honestly, from what I was hearing, it didn't seem like anything that serious. I've heard worse.

At the end, I prayed with them, but I knew the issue wasn't resolved.

Then the man said he wanted to tell me something privately and wanted me to ask his wife if she would be intimate with him.

I said, “What kind of message is that? She's right here! Why are you asking me to ask her?”

I told him, “I'm not sure I'm comfortable asking her. She's sitting right here.”

He said, “No, I know why I'm asking you. We've had these conversations before. There's nothing we've discussed here that we haven't discussed before. But the major issue is that she has refused to be intimate with me, and it's been over nine months.”

I said, “Okay.”

Then I turned to the woman and asked, “Is there anything you are comfortable sharing with me?”

She said, “Please tell him to leave the call.”

So I told him, “Sir, please leave the call.”

Then the woman told me that some months earlier, they had been quarrelling. She said she had a flat bum.

Those were her words, not mine.

She said, “Pastor, I have a flat bum. So when we were quarrelling, my husband said, ‘Get out with your bony bum bum.’”

Please listen carefully, because if you're laughing, you might miss the lesson in what happened next.

She started crying.

She said there was a particular intimate position her husband liked, but it required her to turn in a way that exposed the very part of her body he had insulted.

She said that every time she remembered what he had said, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

One statement had wounded her deeply.

He probably said it in anger and may not have realized the damage those words would cause.

You have to think carefully before you speak in marriage.

There are words you say to people that can stay with them for years.

I know this from personal experience.

If you look at my pictures, you'll notice that in many of them, my head is always tilted like this.

My wife will tell you.

There is a distance you couldn't come close to me from.

I'm actively working on it now, but when we first got married, once I woke up, the first thing I would do was go into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

If you were talking to me and getting too close, I would shift away.

Something happened to me in JSS2.

It's one thing for someone to say your mouth smells because you haven't brushed your teeth.

But imagine brushing your teeth and still being made to feel ashamed.

One day, I was coming down the stairs and talking, and a girl in my school, Chinonso Igwe, said, “Ah-ah, who is that person whose mouth is smelling like this?”

I've forgiven her, by the way.

But from JSS2 to SS3, you could ask the people I went to school with. If I spoke 15 times, you couldn't get me to speak much more than that.

That one statement affected me deeply.

Chinonso has probably moved on with her life. She may be married and living her own life today.

But for years, I was still carrying the effect of what she said.

That's the power of words.

Be careful what you say to people.

Some things you say in seconds can scar someone for years.

And this is especially important in marriage.

You may say something because you're angry. You may not even mean it the way it sounded.

But you cannot always convince someone that you didn't mean it, because the question remains:

Why did those words come out in the first place?

Think very carefully before you speak.

I've also noticed that sometimes, during an argument, one person keeps pushing the other to “Talk! Talk! Talk!”

Don't fall for that pressure.

When you're angry, don't allow yourself to say things you will spend years trying to take back.

There are things you can repair in marriage, but some words leave scars that take a long time to heal.

Choose your words carefully.

If you don’t understand your own emotions,
understanding someone else’s will always be a struggle.
Self-awareness is where emotional intelligence begins.

Sometimes your partner isn’t asking for space.
They’re asking you to stop doing the exact thing they’ve complained about 47 times. 😭

Ladies, what if your dream man comes with a monthly maintenance fee? 😂😂
Everything you prayed for… except the part where YOU become the provider.
Be honest, could you handle it? 👀

You can’t communicate someone into maturity.
At some point, you have to stop explaining
and start observing.

If you were the bride, would you still continue with this wedding, or is this a clear sign that the groom’s heart is already with another woman?

What would you do?
A. Continue the wedding
B. Stop the wedding 🚫
C. Find out the truth first 🤔

A person can love you and still feel unloved when appreciation is missing.”
Never take your partner’s efforts for granted.
A simple “thank you” can keep love alive.

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