Alchemist on Fire

This

This Wednesday wisdom is a personal note to my higher self and stands as a divinely timed reminder.

I am grateful, beyond words, for those rare as hen's teeth, true gems of human beings that have reached out to me, particularly during over the harrowing last year.

I appreciate the connection to like-minded souls, that have absolutely nothing to gain and are truly interested in my highest good more than words.

With Venus moving into my sign of Aquarius, I validate my own need to connect and form my own community - to build my tribe or circle of life-long, genuine humans that nourish my soul and have my very best intentions, at heart.

I have always said you can not have all your emotional, psychological, social and physical needs met by one or two people. It puts far too much pressure on your partner to play every single role in your life and essentially destoys the special sense of romance, over time.

No single human can be all things to one person. In the way we have medical people in various fields, as humans we require nourishment from different individuals, in order to ground, balance, grow and expand our minds, souls and every aspect of our being.

If there is one thing I know for certain, it is we all need to find people who love like we do. These humans become our chosen family and without them, we simply can not evolve and grow.

I reflect on my intention to maintain protection of my energy.

I believe that being guarded establishes necessary boundaries that we all require in order to remember we always need to meet our own needs first - oxygen mask down for ourselves first.

KD xx

It really has been a magnanimous roller-coaster of a year, @ Casa Denaro-Marziani.

I have learned to be specific when putting it out to the universe - happy and healthy, was not quite specific enough. To deliver, the universe requires a vision. My vision is now clear.

I broke up with everything and everyone that was toxic, for me - people, connections, unnecessary trappings, foods, drinks, synthetic substances, chemicals, associations and behaviours.

I continue to assert boundaries and I am ruthless in protecting my energy.

My recovery and rehabilitation is paramount.

B6/Pyridoxine toxicity, Brain Trauma, Peripheral neuropathy and sensory loss, losing the ability to walk, losing all sensation in my legs and feet. Strokes, seizures, malabsorption and an exhaustive list of complicated medical issues, that I continue to learn about everyday.

Health is indisputably wealth - this I now know first hand.

Doctors after doctors - dismissed over and over again. Finally unearthing what was killing me, with the thanks of a new GP and astute Neurologist.
Abandoned by our community of friends and family, Marco and I survived everything that was designed to break us.

I survived to see NYE and a new year filled with opportunities, possibilities and new beginnings.

I looked death in the face and came back to live out my life of purpose - in order that my suffering not be in vain.

Speaking my truth will hopefully save the lives and suffering of others.

Speaking my truth professionally, gave me freedom of speech and frees my spirit.

I am aligned with my vision. I am manifesting a full recovery and life filled with love, peace, joy and wonder.

I will regain the ability to walk unassisted again.

I am rengenerating and releasing everything and everyone that is not of my highest good.

I am creating pristine health and highest level of awareness to obtain full recovery and full rehabilitation.

I am filled with gratitude and unconditional love, peace and appreciation for my life, my ultimate being and my amazingly steadfast husband.

May 2023 bring you ALL the blessings you deserve. Happy and Healthy New Year! KD✨️

Last update for 2022.

No video or aspirational quotes.

Recovery from sensory loss and peripheral neuropathy is not linear. This is not the flu. No two days are the same. From May this year to date, there are still days where I am unable to leave our home unassisted.

I chanced a visit to Rhodes Kmart, on what I thought was a good day, last week. The weather changed and I immediately lost all sensation on my left side. I had no one to call to collect me, as Marco was away for work, and I struggled whilst waiting for an Uber. Then struggled to get in and out of his car, and back upstairs.

My hypo-glyceamic episodes are more frequent, of late. Managing Insulin resistance is currently a nightmare.

My brother Charlie, who I once considered my psuedo father, mocked me, dismissing my medical nightmare and accused me of exaggerating my health status. Amongst his accusations, he went on to say that I choose to not leave the house unassisted and that our Mother advised she saw me the prior week and I was fine, walking normally.

There are days when I can walk fine and I feel normal, albeit I live in chronic pain from nerve damage. There are normal days or partial days of normality. I have built up my muscles to support the damaged nerves, however my body continues to fail me and I can never predict when this will happen.

I know now that some of the nerve damage from B6 toxicity is lifelong and my symptoms will need to be managed accordingly.

To lose the ability to walk - to feel parts of your body is the scariest thing I have ever experienced.

I continue extensive physical rehabilitation, in the hope, that with time, I can manage my symptoms, despite my diagnosis.

I am scared and I do feel alone, despite having a wonderful husband, who is incredibly supportive.

In reflection, not only did I fall through the cracks of the medical system, time and time again, this year, however I was dismissed and left for dead by my blood family and like most times of adversity, not a single friend.

I know a lot of people, however I do not have a single friend in this world.

It makes me wonder who was I, before this happened to me.

I continue to work on myself and work through my emotional trauma relating to this past year - it is a full time job.

Recovery and rehabilitation is ALL day and night, 24/7, for me.

I continue to be strong and resilient, however I am also emotionally and physically spent.

I have learned life is full of oxymorons - all emotions can coexist.

I never lose sight of how far I have come in my recovery. I never stop protecting myself with necessary boundaries and restrictes regulation and routine, that keep me alive. I am always in gratitude for the fact I am alive and am a survivour, despite my continued challenges.

I am eternally grateful to my husband and my medical team, consisting of my GP, K, my therapist L, my rehabilitation physiotherapist C and Neurologist, who diagnosed me.

Brain trauma recovery is a very strange phenomenon.

My brain has decided EVERYTHING has to be repeated in the same order or I totally lose sight of what I need to do next. Down to routine things such as eating times, putting the clothes away, the way things are packed up and put away.

It is an incredibly complex and stressful time for us.

So please share in celebratory moments of normality, with me.

Truth-be-told, it is fu***ng exhausting being me, right now.

Side-note - my B6 levels remain high, despite my highly restricted diet and no supplements. My C, K, Iron and Folate are currently low, despite the fact I have loads of citrus and greens. Malabsorption Syndrome requires lifelong management.

I also have a new issue where my ankles swell and having had an ultrasound on both legs, we can see that I still suffer with acute inflammation in my legs, hence the perpetual nerve pain. Particularly with the wind and the cold!

The warm days are kind to me. Managing hydration is my only challenge. Trying to get in water with a Gastric sleeve is a nightmare, but I do it.

No family or friends, or celebrating this Christmas. That's tough, after the challenges we have faced and continue to face.

We are on our own in this world. So love yourselves BIG! You are your only family and friend, ultimately. Everyone else is simply a compliment to you.

Much love to everyone who has followed my journey.

KD xx

Christmas is not a celebration for everyone.

Like most Italo-Australians, I was blessed with parents who placed a great deal of value on the importance of celebrating every milestone and every festive occasion with our family.

This year, my husband and I are alone for Christmas, for the first time in our lives. Just like much of this year.

I accept it is what it is. We are not unique. I am not the only person estranged from family and Marco is not the only person a million miles away from his deeply missed family. I just never believed this would or could happen to me or to us. My illusive belief that it will "never happen to me" broke my own heart.

This level of awareness brings a far deeper understanding and level of compassion for others suffering and alone, this Christmas.

Be EXTRA kind to each other, this Christmas. It is really tough when the world is celebrating a day that you are not celebrating.

My heart and love goes out to everyone facing this holiday season alone.

KD xx

My daily Alchemist life...🤘🧿🌶

I remain an eternal champion for raising awareness on mental health concerns.

I am also ALL for raising awareness on a myriad of other sociological and medical issues, requiring our daily awareness and support.

Until this year, I was a huge advocate of the, "R U OK?" campaign.

I feel that this message has become somewhat tarnished.

Simply put, this is not a politically correct comment, made once a year, on an appropriated day.

Mental health awareness is much more than a message shared via social media platforms to generate likes and perpetuate algorithms.

Truth-be-told, I do not believe 'the masses' actually care about the mental or physical health of others. Let alone care to reach out with the intention of genuinely wanting to help or support those in need, unless there is something to gain.

I have always been in support of my community, family, friends and the industry, I have passionately dedicated 33+ years of my life to. I will continue to be - that is who I am.

Charity, grace and compassion does start with ourselves. This includes our self-preservation, self-awareness and ability to maintain our boundaries.

In the absence of reciprocity, I have learned first-hand, and now know that the salvation or support of others is frequently dismissed in the culture of my own community.

This has been the most eye-opening awareness of my life.

Thus, do I actually believe most people care when they pose the question, "R U OK?" - sadly, not.

I reiterate my message from years gone by, I urge anyone struggling to grapple with their emotional, mental or physical health to please reach out to me ANY TIME, EVERY DAY of the year!

If you are feeling dismissed, invalidated, unsupported or unloved, please know you are not alone.

Much love,

KD xx

SNEAK PEAK

An excerpt from my upcoming book, "Alchemist on Fire".

"Chapter One - "A Visit to the Doctor".

From early infancy, my favourite 'Little Golden Book' was appropriately named, "A Visit to the Doctor".

Aimed at encouraging children to develop a trusting relationship with our Medical Practitioners, the book navigates children through a practical Doctor's visit, managing their expectations and eliminating fears.

So much so, I never remember a time when I was even remotely apprehensive about seeing a Doctor.

I have always been an obedient patient. The over-achieving aspect of self, did exactly what I was advised to do, to the book, pun intended!

Never in my wildest dreams, would I have believed, doing exactly what I was advised to could have potentially cost me my life.

Priding myself in being informed, I am a self-professed 'information addict' and very much a need-to-know personality..."

Alchemist on Fire TM
Copyright ©️
2022

And here it is, folks...https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0899900722001514 #:~:text=This%20is%20likely%20linked%20to,long%20follow%20up%20for%20deficiencies.&text=While%20vitamin%20B6%20deficiency%20is,polyneuropathy%2C%20notably%20targeting%20motor%20neurons

What the Surgeons do NOT tell you about the common link between Pyridoxine/B6 toxicity and Bariatric surgery.

If I knew then what I know now I may have been curvier, however I would be able to walk. To run. To leave my home unassisted. To stand in the shower, without fearing I will fall. To grip on hard surfaces. To live.

Cudos to those coming forward to raise awareness of B6/Pyridoxine toxicity and to Zilla Gordon of the ABC for championing those of us fighting this battle...

High levels of vitamin B6 in supplements, weight-loss products can cause toxicity, chronic illness - ABC News High levels of vitamin B6 in supplements, weight-loss products can cause toxicity, chronic illnessABC Radio Melbourne / By Zilla GordonPosted 10h ago10 hours agoWed 24 Aug 2022 at 8:45pm Vicky Sellers thought suppliemnts would boost her health, but they led to vitamin B6 toxicity.(Getty Images: d3si...