The Hot Mess
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For burnout babes, hormonal hotties + mood-swinging survivors 🧠
Glue to hold your s**t-show together 💅
Functional medicine, psych, science + sass 💁🏽♀️
12/10/2026
🛒 HOT MESS SMART SHOPPING HACK 💸
Want a quick way to assess the health of your grocery shop?
CHECK YOUR GST RECEIPT. 👀
In Australia, unprocessed whole foods are generally GST-free, including:
🍎 Fruit
🥦 Vegetables
🥩 Meat
🐟 Fish
🥚 Eggs
🥜 Raw nuts and seeds
🥛 Unprocessed dairy
These are the foods you want to make up at least 80% of your diet.
GST is generally charged on things like:
🍬 Confectionery and lollies
🍪 Biscuits
🍟 Many savoury snack foods
🍦 Ice cream
🥤 Soft drinks
🧊 Pre-made frozen meals (pies, pizzas)
🍔 Restaurant meals and many takeaway foods
So, this week, instead of counting calories or macros, try this instead 👇🏽
Check how much GST you pay in your grocery shop.
It’s a handy little hack to help you eat better 🔥
11/10/2026
A glorious week away from the clinic AND the socials. 🩷✨
A glorious week of the kind of connection that fills your cup, makes you laugh until your face hurts, and reminds you just how good life can feel - care of some long-lost family who, as it turns out, are our kind of people 💖.
I’m heading back to clinic this week with a fuller heart, a renewed sense of purpose, and a little more spring in my step.
Consider this your reminder to step away from the s**t-show every now and then to make space for the things that make you feel whole.
Your to-do list will still be there when you get back. 😉
05/10/2026
✨ Vibe
For the brain that has 47 tabs open, three thoughts competing for attention, and absolutely no interest in cooperating.
🧠 What it actually does — in human words
NeurENERGY brings together five herbal extracts traditionally used to support cognitive function, mental concentration, nervous system health and mental alertness.
The formula combines EnXtra® galangal, BacoMind® bacopa, ginkgo biloba, rhodiola and gotu kola — a botanical team designed to support the brain while also helping the body cope with environmental stress.
Rather than being a giant caffeine-powered slap in the face, this formula takes a broader approach to cognitive support, combining herbs traditionally used for focus, mental performance, nervous system support and resilience to stress.
🔥 Why your body might be obsessed with this
Think clearer, more switched-on and better able to concentrate — particularly when your brain feels sluggish, scattered or mentally overloaded.
NeurENERGY may be a good fit when you want cognitive support without simply reaching for another coffee and hoping for the best.
The formula also includes herbs traditionally used to help the body cope with environmental stress, making it particularly interesting when mental performance and stress resilience need to coexist.
🧬 Made for Hotties who:
• Feel mentally foggy or sluggish
• Struggle to maintain concentration
• Need support with mental alertness and cognitive performance
• Feel like their brain is running on low battery
• Are mentally overloaded and struggling to stay focused
• Want herbal support for nervous system function
• Need a little more resilience when life is throwing its usual bu****it
🛍️ Available by prescription only, Hottie.
Wondering if this might just be the glue your s**t show needs?
Book a consult and let’s work out what your brain actually needs.
Or…
💬 Head to The Hot Mess Bitch Fest and SHOUT.
Not a member?
It’s included with our Freeloader Membership.
Which is, um… FREE. 😂
👉 Join via the link in bio.
**kingthing
03/10/2026
Meet the Hot Mess 💋 Bitch Fest
Our FREE crowd-coaching space for when you need to:
🫦 vent
🫦 overshare
🫦 ask “WTF is going on with me?”
🫦 figure out what the f**k you can actually do about it
🫦 laugh
🫦 cry
🫦 celebrate a win
🫦 or simply realise…
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT THE ONLY ONE STRUGGLING TO HOLD YOUR S**T TOGETHER.
This is a space for real humans navigating:
🔥 stress
🧠 symptoms
🩷 hormones
💼 work
🫠 burnout
👶 motherhood
❤️ relationships
…and basically the whole f**king dumpster fire that is LIFE.
No judgement.
No toxic positivity.
No pretending we’ve all got our s**t together.
Just Hotties supporting Hotties. 🩷
🫦 WHAT CAN YOU DO IN THE BITCH FEST?
Ask questions about your symptoms, blood work, supplements, medications — or that thing your doctor said that made absolutely f**king no sense.
Share what’s going on.
Get some no-bu****it support.
Learn from other Hotties.
And sometimes?
Just have a f**king whinge.
Because sometimes you don’t need another appointment.
You need someone to say:
“Same, girl”
And because we believe support shouldn’t only be available when you’ve got spare cash…
👄 THE BITCH FEST IS FREE.
It’s included with ALL Hot Mess memberships — including our FREELOADER membership.
Because being a Hot Mess is universal.
Having spare cash definitely isn’t.
So… want in on the chaos?
Of course you f**king do. 😂
🔥 Hit the link in our bio to join
🔥 OR comment Freeloader below and a Hottie will slide into your DMs and get you sorted.
Come bitch.
Come laugh.
Come overshare.
Just don’t come pretending you’ve got your s**t together. 😂
Why I suck at socials — Episode 2. 😂
Another DIY project I wildly underestimated.
This is my bathroom door.
Which currently means…
🚪 No bathroom door
🧽 A pressure cleaner in my driveway
🎨 Paint EVERYWHERE
⏰ Visitors arriving in TWO DAYS
Shout out to the painters hired for our bathroom renovation who never showed up!
Shout out to my brain for its standard response to pretty much anything - “I’ll do it myself”.
And shout out to another great way to avoid making social content. 🤣🤣
Honestly? This is WAY more fun!
PS - If I say to you “I’ll call you next week to check in” - don’t leave without me booking a time - anything could happen 🤣🤣🤣
PERIMENOPAUSE: when your hormones decide to start freelancing. 🤘🏼
If you’ve reached the point where you’re wondering:
“Why the f**k do I feel like I’ve been replaced by a completely different woman?”
Welcome. You’re not imagining things.
Perimenopause isn’t simply your hormones going DOWN.
It’s a period of hormonal change and unpredictability - and that can show up in a whole f**king lot of places -
Your sleep.
Your mood.
Your brain.
Your appetite.
Your temperature regulation.
Your periods.
Your migraines.
Your energy.
Your muscles.
Your metabolism.
And sometimes… your ability to tolerate literally ANYONE. 😂
WHY?
Because oestrogen and progesterone don’t operate in isolation. They interact with every cell and system of your body, including your brain, metabolic regulation, cardiovascular system, skeletal system and stress response.
Every woman’s biology and biography is unique, so every woman’s perimenopause experience is unique..
How it feels, how long it takes, what symptoms are experienced, and what support is needed along the way… will be different for every woman.
Welcome to The Menopause Edit. 🩷
You might be in the hormonal death-metal era… but you don’t have to wing it alone.
30/09/2026
A little pricing non-update, queens. 💰
There’s no change to Hot Mess Studio fees associated with new surcharge regulations starting tomorrow.
Processing fees associated with EFTPOS/card payments will continue to be built into my pricing structure.
As a micro business owner in a 2026 economy, I pride myself on accepting any form of money you are willing and able to hand over 💁🏽♀️.
💳 Credit cards
💗 AMEX
💸 Afterpay
📱 PayID
💵 Cash
Preferred method of payment?
Anything except cash. 😂
Not because I’m fancy.
Because the most valuable commodity in my life is TIME.
Cash means I have to:
* count it
* keep a float
* have change
* reconcile it
* eventually get my arse to the bank
Never. Going. To. Fu***ng. Happen. 😂
There are also the other two very real cash risks:
1. A little crim breaks into my house and steals it.
2. I lose it.
Both entirely plausible. Neither particularly desirable. 😂
SO.
Transfer, tap or swipe away, queens.
I got you.
💕
📣 I want to know what you want to know.
We all know the best way to get engagement in the internet is to take your clothes off 🤣
BUT..
1. I’m old.
2. I’m a science geek, not model.
3. I’m pretty sure seeing my naked arse pop up while you’re doomscrolling would have zero positive impact on your wellbeing.
So, I’d much rather use my time talking about the stuff that actually matters.
Got a question?
Something you’ve always wondered about?
Something your doctor said you didn’t understand?
A symptom that makes absolutely no f*cking sense?
A topic you want me to nerd out on?
👇🏽 Chuck it in the comments & I’ll turn it into content.
🙅🏽♀️ No topic is off limits and this is a
🙅🏽♀️ No judgement zone.
Not the “disclose to the whole social world” type?
Shoot me a sneaky DM 🫦
25/09/2026
🧠 FOOD IS PSYCHOLOGICAL MEDICINE
The SMILES trial was a 12-week randomised controlled trial looking at whether improving diet could also improve symptoms of major depression.
And the results were pretty f**king interesting.
Participants receiving structured dietary support were guided to improve the quality of their diet — with more wholegrains, vegetables, fruit, legumes, fish and olive oil, and fewer highly processed foods and “extras”.
After 12 weeks:
🥦 32.3% of people in the dietary support group achieved REMISSION from depression - meaning they no longer met criteria for depression diagnosis.
🍟 Compared with 8.0% in the social support control group.
The dietary support group also experienced significantly greater improvements in anxiety symptoms.
And here’s the bit I really f**king love:
There was no calorie restriction.
No macro counting or restricting.
No weight-loss goal.
No goal of changing the way participants looked.
Dietary intervention was purely geared toward providing the resources the body and brain needs to build, repair and function.
🍒 Food is not the enemy.
🫦 It’s f**king medicine.
How to access your 🫦 Signature Programs
When we work together, I may prescribe Hot Mess 🫦 Signature Programs, based on you, your symptoms and what we’re working on right now.
Your prescribed programs might help you:
🧠 Understand what the hell is going on
🔬 Learn more about your body + brain
📝 Put what we’ve discussed into practice
🧩 Work on specific symptoms, habits or health goals
Even after you finish active Rehab, you’ll still have access to your 🫦 Signature Programs.
📱 HOW TO FIND YOUR PROGRAMS
When I enrol you in a program, you’ll receive an email + in-app notification.
Then:
1️⃣ Open the Practice Better app
2️⃣ Tap Home at the bottom of your screen
3️⃣ Scroll down to My Programs
4️⃣ Tap the program you want to work on
Sometimes I’ll prescribe specific modules, activities or resources because they’re relevant to what’s happening with you right now.
If that’s the case, I’ll unlock the bits I want you to complete and tell you where to start - no need to panic-scroll through 47 modules thinking you’ve accidentally been enrolled in a surprise university degree. 😂
REMINDER: This single human s**t-show is called the Hot Mess Studio for a reason 💁🏽♀️.
It’s totally possible the fancy tech might not work like it should, given I am the entire IT department.
If something isn’t working, shoot me an in-app DM, or head to The Hot Mess Bitch Fest and SHOUT. I’ll try and figure out WTF I have messed up 🫦
Now, go get your 🤓 Geek on.
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