Miriam Adler

IG LIVE — FOR THE ONES WHO ARE TIRED OF NOT HAVING THEIR NEEDS MET

This is for you if you keep saying
“I just want my needs met”
but secretly don’t even know what those needs are anymore.

Many of us learned early that our feelings were inconvenient. And perhaps that your truth would hurt others.

So we trimmed them.
Then silenced them.
Then lost access to them.

Now what happens?

We don’t feel the need when it’s soft.
We feel it when it’s hot.

By the time we speak, we’re already resentful.
Already armored.
Already in attack or complaint.

And of course it doesn’t land.

In this live we’ll explore:

1. Child Need vs. Mature Need
Needy vs. Honoring yourself
2. “The voice made me do it.”
The inner narrator that turns hurt into accusation.
How to catch it before it hijacks your tone.
3. How to actually ask

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲?????

Last week, during a private couples immersion,
every man said some version of this:

“I’m not always as present as I wish to be.
But everything I do, I do for her. For our family.
I wish she knew we’re not enemies.
That being busy doesn’t mean I don’t love her.
Sometimes it feels like nothing I do is ever enough.
It’s a lot of pressure.”

Pause.

𝗦𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲’𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗿—

𝟭.𝗦𝗮𝗳𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸
Most men long to feel safe.
Safe to be who they are.

𝟮.𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗱
“I miss you” opens.
“You’re never here” closes.
One invites love.
The other wakes defense.

𝟯.𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗱𝗼𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝘆
Men respond to lightness.
Laughter. Teasing. Desire.
“Come here, loser”
(said with love)
works better than a lecture.

𝟰.𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀
Vague longing exhausts him.
Clear requests give him a way to show up—
and win.

𝟱.𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘄𝗲
Not against each other.
Side by side.
Protecting something precious.
“How can we have a moment together today?”

Beat.

And still—
of course it’s hard to stay generous
when your love tank is empty.
Of course it’s hard to soften
when you feel unseen.

So—

𝟭.𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲
𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵.
“I knew I wasn’t important.”
That story is old.
And hungry.

𝟮.𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗹.
Shake.
Breathe.
Feel.
Come back from the mind into the body.

𝟯. 𝗻𝘂𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁.
She doesn’t need him first.
She needs you.

𝟰.𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗹𝘆:
What do I need right now
to stay open instead of hard?

Name it simply.
No blame.
No edge.
Just truth.

𝟱.𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝘆.
And let him know what it would give you—
not what he’s doing wrong.

That’s how generosity becomes possible again.
Not by bypassing.
Not by swallowing.
Not by reacting.

But by meeting ourselves first.

What I wish every man knew…
How to navigate the feminine🌪️, without getting caught in it?

• This doesn’t excuse us women.
We are learning to communicate better too.
I’ll make another reel about that — don’t you worry:)

• This reel is about helping each other in moments where:
we struggle to communicate
we are disconnected from our hearts
our inner child is running the show
we are afraid to drop into vulnerability

• If you are easily activated by your woman sharing her feelings, needs, or complaints —
take this as a hint:
what activates you is touching a wound.

• If you react — this is your trigger.
Look inside.

• Ask yourself:
What feeling is being touched?
Failure?
Not being enough?
Feeling small?

• What is this reminding you of? How old are you?

• Instead of distancing, defending, or shutting down —
can you share your vulnerability with her?
Can you name why this touches you?

• This is how reactivity turns into intimacy.

♥️

What I wish every Men knew… (Part 2)

•Behind every demand, complaint, attack, silent wall — lays so much vulnerability, and therefor immense possibility for deep intimacy. Don’t miss out on it :)