Robyn's Fuel for Life

Last week I experienced an attempted bank robbery. This week the police came back to tell us that he had been arrested. While this initially put me more at ease reading what he was being charged with made me uneasy again. At no point was I told he had a weapon unless it was on the note that I didn't get to finish reading. In addition to two robbery charges he has been charge with the posession of a weapon for the purpose of harm. I am extremely greatful that the events of last Wednesday did not involve any injuries.

Yesterday, I also gave in and went to the doctor to discuss medication. After completing a questionaire my fear of extreme anxiety was confirmed and with it a recommendation of daily meds and counseling to get back on track. So I am doing what I need to get better. Day one of meds has not been so great. I slept even less than I normally do so I am exhausted, but we re-evaluate in three weeks to see if this is the best choice.

What this experience has also done is it has sent me down a dangerous path of putting more junk in my boby. Caffine while it makes you jumpy has been my go to comfort in the form of coke and not just a can but usually two 710 ml bottles a day and somedays an extra large tea to go with it. Downside, huge amounts of sugar going into my body and the withdrawal when I try to cut it out is going to be a bitch. Self medication even when it is just with food is never a good idea.

So my goal is to be back on track by the new year. That gives me a month to detox the sugar deom my system without having to go cold turkey and put my already over stressed body through more.

It has been awhile since I posted on here. Just a few days ago I was the recipient of a note from a stranger demanding I give him cash. For those of you that don't already know my day job is a tellar at a bank. Some people might refer to me as the victim of a crime, but I hate the word victim. I prefer to think of it as participating in a series of unfortunate events. Unfortunately, the reality is I was approached during the attempted commission of a crime and while they didn't get what they came for and no one was physically harmed they left wounds. It was all really low key and I am greatful for that but the loss of work being a safe environment has opened old wounds and triggered my anxiety. I have gone through various emotions in the last couple of day. Fear, stress, crying, anger and being happy. This morning I woke from a nightmare of the events replaying, except my mind made it much worse. While at an event tonight simply watching teenagers pace around a high school gym was causing me to be anxious. It brought up the face that we never know what might be a trigger for someome. Simple things we always do can make others really uncomfortable. At the moment I have an issue with hooded black jackets/ sweaters because that is what the wouldbe robber was wearing. I know over time it was be better and not an issue but right now it is.

The past two days I have managed to exceed my 10k step goal. Yesterday, I moved stuff up from the basement for an hour. That alone was almost 5k steps and my legs and butt got a workout. I would class today as arm day as I loaded firewood from the yard into the truck and unloaded it at our new place. Another hour of working out with about 5k in steps. Sometimes it takes short term effort to have long term effects.

For anyone who thinks they are not capable of doing things and achieving your goals this video is proof that the only obstacle standing in the way is your willingness to put yourself out there and try.

So today has been a rough day at work. Technology issues to start the day along with a large line-up to start the day and things have kept going wrong from that point on. I'm just finishing up the "I ate my feeling" lunch packed full of everything bad. Chicken nuggets, fries and mozza sticked. It doesn't get much worse then that. Do I feel better now that I finished consuming all thise calories and grease? Of course not. I didn't really think I would but at the same time I am not going to make myself feel worse because I should know better. Sometimes we have to give into desires that are nit the best for use to be able to get through the day. Lunch today was bad tomorrow will be better. This is a journey not a sprint and sometimes you get sidetracked.

Shidtshop week 2 started. Finished my workout, showered and then realized I forgot to replace the towels when I did laundry. Luckly the linen closet is right across from the bathroom. Unfortunately, I sustained a hand and shoulder injury trying to prevent myself from going head first into the toilet when I slipped on the wet floor once retrieving the towel.

All cleaned up and ready for an afternoon of golf, but first a trip to the store for a couple if items.

Sweaty selfie. It is super hot in the house already because I am trying to get laundry done and slow cook ribs in the over that will be finished on the bbq later tonight. I just finished You V2 day one. I'm exhausted. It is a beginner workout so for everyone just starting out or if you're coming back from an injury it is a great workout. Looking forward to day 2 tomorrow. Want to know more about this program let me know.

The red glow is not a reflection from the shirt. So hot but there is a chance that I came close to or possibly beat my best time. I will have to wait to see my chip time. Perhaps this year I will finally train enough that I can cut my time in half next year.