Arctic Blonde Society

Halloween Then vs. Now: Apparently We Survived the ’70s 🎃😂

Halloween sure has changed. When we were kids, Halloween was simple. You found something vaguely costume-like, grabbed a pillowcase off your mother’s bed, and disappeared into the darkness for three hours. That was it. No GPS. No cell phone. No reflective vest. No parent following six feet behind you with a Yeti full of coffee. Our parents basically opened the front door and said:...

Halloween Then vs. Now: Apparently We Survived the ’70s 🎃😂 Halloween sure has changed. When we were kids, Halloween was simple. You found something vaguely costume-like, grabbed a pillowcase off your mother’s bed, and disappeared into the darkness for thre…

I Used to Be Spontaneous. Now I Need 48 Hours’ Notice. 😂

There was a time when someone could call me at 7:00 on a Friday night and say: “Hey! Want to go out?” And I’d say: “Sure! Give me 20 minutes!” Twenty minutes. I could shower, do my hair, get dressed, find my purse and leave the house like some kind of highly trained emergency response team. Now? If you call me at 7:00 on a Friday night and ask if I want to go out, I will assume there has been a…...

I Used to Be Spontaneous. Now I Need 48 Hours’ Notice. 😂 There was a time when someone could call me at 7:00 on a Friday night and say: “Hey! Want to go out?” And I’d say: “Sure! Give me 20 minutes!” Twenty minutes. I could shower, do my hair, get dresse…

WORK-LIFE BALANCE: A GENERATIONAL TRANSLATION GUIDE 😂

Apparently we’re all supposed to have something called work-life balance now. This is fascinating to those of us who grew up believing the reward for finishing your work was… more work. Every generation seems to have a slightly different approach. 👴 THE SILENT GENERATION (1928–1945):“Work-life what?” You went to work.You came home.You ate supper.Then you fixed something in the garage until dark....

WORK-LIFE BALANCE: A GENERATIONAL TRANSLATION GUIDE 😂 Apparently we’re all supposed to have something called work-life balance now. This is fascinating to those of us who grew up believing the reward for finishing your work was… more work. Every gener…

Why Does Everything Need an App?

I have a question. Why does EVERYTHING need an app now? I wanted to park my car the other day. That's it. I wasn't trying to launch a satellite. I wasn't applying for a mortgage. I simply wanted to leave my car in a parking space for an hour. The sign says: DOWNLOAD OUR APP TO PAY FOR PARKING. Of course it does....

Why Does Everything Need an App? I have a question. Why does EVERYTHING need an app now? I wanted to park my car the other day. That’s it. I wasn’t trying to launch a satellite. I wasn’t applying for a mortgage. …

When Did Dinner Become a Competitive Sport? Restaurant Portions Then vs. Now 😂

Remember going out for dinner in the 1970s? First of all, going out for dinner was an EVENT. We didn’t casually announce on a Tuesday: “I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s go out.” Absolutely not. Going to a restaurant required planning, decent clothes and possibly Mom putting on lipstick. And when you got there, something very strange happened. They served you…...

When Did Dinner Become a Competitive Sport? Restaurant Portions Then vs. Now 😂 Remember going out for dinner in the 1970s? First of all, going out for dinner was an EVENT. We didn’t casually announce on a Tuesday: “I don’t feel like cooking. Let’s go out.” Absolutely not. Goi…

If I ever win the lottery 🐾💰😂

If I ever win the lottery, I’m not telling anyone. But there WILL be signs. 🐾💰😂 Some people say, “If I win, I’m buying a mansion.” Cute. I’m buying acreage. Not for horses. Not for farming. For DOGS. An absolutely irresponsible number of dogs. I want so many dogs that when Amazon comes up the driveway, the driver just whispers:...

If I ever win the lottery 🐾💰😂 If I ever win the lottery, I’m not telling anyone. But there WILL be signs. 🐾💰😂 Some people say, “If I win, I’m buying a mansion.” Cute. I’m buying acreage. Not for horses. Not for farming. For DOG…

Buying a Bathing Suit in Your 60s: Well, This Is Humbling 😂

There are certain things nobody prepares you for as you get older. Reading glasses. Making a little noise every time you stand up. Getting genuinely excited about a new vacuum cleaner. And then there’s the annual event that really tests a woman’s emotional strength: Buying a bathing suit. Because buying a bathing suit in your 60s is VERY different from buying one in your 20s....

Buying a Bathing Suit in Your 60s: Well, This Is Humbling 😂 There are certain things nobody prepares you for as you get older. Reading glasses. Making a little noise every time you stand up. Getting genuinely excited about a new vacuum cleaner. And then the…

Fat cells have a memory!

I have recently discovered something about the human body that I find deeply disturbing. Fat cells have a memory. Oh yes. Apparently, when you lose weight, your fat cells don’t just pack up their belongings, hand over the keys and say: “Well, Susan, it’s been lovely. Best of luck with the smaller pants.” NO. They remember. They wait. They lurk....

Fat cells have a memory! I have recently discovered something about the human body that I find deeply disturbing. Fat cells have a memory. Oh yes. Apparently, when you lose weight, your fat cells don’t just pack up their b…

Zero Fudge Given

There comes a magical age in a woman’s life when something shifts. I’m not sure exactly when it happens. Maybe it’s 50. Maybe it’s 60. Maybe it happens the first time you make a little noise when you stand up and realize you no longer care who heard it. But eventually, you enter the glorious stage of life I like to call:...

Zero Fudge Given There comes a magical age in a woman’s life when something shifts. I’m not sure exactly when it happens. Maybe it’s 50. Maybe it’s 60. Maybe it happens the first time you make a little noise when y…

Everything Has a USB Port Now… and I’m Running Out of Outlets 🔌😂

The portable fan. The rechargeable flashlight. The little reading light. I'm pretty sure Winston is the only thing left in this house that doesn't need to be plugged in. And frankly, if someone invents a USB-powered dog, I'm not buying it. 🐶😂 Then there's the problem of finding the right cord. We have USB. USB-C. Micro USB. Lightning. And approximately…...

Everything Has a USB Port Now… and I’m Running Out of Outlets 🔌😂 The portable fan. The rechargeable flashlight. The little reading light. I’m pretty sure Winston is the only thing left in this house that doesn’t need to be plugged in. And frankly, if…