The Men's Room Barber Shop

Whose gonna ride your wild horses?

Happy Saturday Rainford!

Its been another sweltering week in our little village. Summer dresses and Jesus boots have been the clobber of choice in the vain attempt of keeping cool.
Varicose veins and cornflake toenails unfortunately a byproduct of the climate controlled fashion disasters witnessed by many.

Bring on the rain!

I spent this week looking like a cross between Jeff Lynne and David Bellamy. (I met David Bellamy once at Euston Station, nice man).
But now I am back from a much needed trim at The Men's Room Barber Shop this morning. I was so desperate for this haircut I was contemplating sleeping in the doorway last night. But I didn't need to as I had booked my appointment with their marvellous and easy to use app.
Well coiffeured, I am ready and waiting for my call up from The King of the North, to become a member of his new Parliament. Minister for Sarcasm is a role I was born to play.
My first act as minister will be to write to Robert Jenrick, telling him how much I admire him. I will definitely not mention his weasely little face or the fact hes a massive hypocritical cockwomble.

Speaking of massive k***s, the horses on Rookery Lane have stolen the headlines this week across the village socials.
Its hard to escape unnoticed when you're 15 hands tall, but these horses dont seem to give a s**t. They obviously feel the grass is greener on the other side, and have made it their daily objective to cross the road and generally p**s people off.

As expected, football isnt coming home. Which will be welcome news to the many miserable sods who were eagerly awaiting the huge celebrations just so they could complain about them.

I wish to congratulate Bounce Rainford on their excellent success fundraising last week, 24 hours of bouncing! Incredible work.
I hope the black eyes have healed now.

Also, may I say a huge "Thank You" to all of my followers new and old. I have been doing this for a few years now and I am happy to know I put a smile on people's faces.
I may repost a few of my old favorite posts over the coming weeks in case anyone thinks I am being lazy, its just for those who are new to the page.

Stay hydrated Rainford

Wherever you are

⚽️ Calling All World Cup Experts ⚽️

It’s a big game tonight for us, so we gave the team some of football’s most iconic hairstyles from the past… but can you guess which players they’re inspired by? 👀

Drop your answers in the comments 👇! (Bonus point if you can guess the year)

Rules: No Googling. No cheating. Just pure football knowledge. 🚫

Tag your mate who thinks they know everything about football! 😂

The Last Supper

Good evening Rainford.

Now we have all had time to digest the news that Rainford Supper Bar is to hang up its Wok at the end of the month, I feel its time for my observations to enter the ether.

Firstly, May I wish the family all the very best in their well earned , although extremely selfish retirement plans.

Rumours bounded across the various village social media pages.
Quite frankly , some incredibly cringe worthy hysterical hyperbole that made me feel like I had eaten a poorly reheated Salt and Pepper Chicken for my breakfast. (Trust me, I know).

"Why now?"
"Devastating news"
"Thats just bloody not on! How dare they!"
And many snivelling attention seeking "I speak for everyone" memory-lane ridden tributes.

Is it a coincidence that soon after Rainford fell under the Fag Ash Fuhrers control that the first victims were of an exotic persuasion? (The Cottage, you have been warned).

Maybe the family were unhappy about losing the Village award of 'the most random and inconvenient closures' to new local business Eve's?

Anyway, I digress.

I can exclusively reveal the plans to mark the historic closure of a true Rainford Institution.

From Monday , a Book of Remembrance will open in the Village Hall for people to leave their memories, favourite orders and menu ideas.
The book symbolically closes on the 26th as the closed sign goes up for the last time.
The family can then make arrangements to collect the book, as we don't deliver.

On the emotional last day of service, a candlelit vigil will be live streamed, hosted by television stalwarts Mark Curry and Anneka Rice.
Live acts to be confirmed, although it is muted Salt-N-Pepa, China Crisis and unfortunately, that horrible Carol Decker wants to turn up spouting her right wing drivel whilst performing China in your hands. As I said, TBC.

A support network is to be established to help villagers adapt to the loss.
Mourners Support Group, or MSG if you like, will provide round the clock assistance to those struggling to adapt to a new way of life.

Its not all bad news, it has been reported that sales of Fish and Pies have not been affected.

Stay tuned for further updates as I get them.

Learn to cook Rainford

Wherever you are

Massive thank you to everyone who donated and showed support to our Josh for the climb of Mount Snowden yesterday ❤️

What a brilliant day we had climbing up and then reaching the summit, rewarded by the incredible views across North Wales and beyond.

It was an especially poignant day as it would have been Josh’s mum’s 60th birthday, but she sadly passed away due to su***de last year.

As you can appreciate, this was a devastating blow to Josh and his family, but out of that pain they have all created something really inspiring and truly beautiful.

To pay tribute to his mum’s life, Josh, his family and friends, including our very own Tom, Matty and Laura, all climbed Mount Snowden yesterday and raised more than £6,000 for two charities that do wonderful and vital work, namely ***deandco and ❤️

We know a lot of you contributed to that and we are so grateful for your support and thankful to have such a ruddy bloody great bunch of customers and friends.

We just wanted to reach out and give you an update, and more importantly, say thank you on behalf of Josh and his family.

Much love everyone and take care of yourself out there ❤️

📯 iOS BOOKING APP Updated + Back Online 😎

After a fancy update in the backend with the boffins down the tech lab, we’re delighted to say our iOS/ APPLE booking APP is now live and is back up and running.

Always good to have a clear out of all the little gremlins and make the APP even smoother and easier to use.

So after taking the APPLE version of the APP offline yesterday, it’s now BACK ONLINE and ready to use 😎

Over and out and have a good day x

⚠️ PLEASSE READ ⚠️ There is currently an issue with our booking APP on APPLE/IOS devices only.

‼️IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️ our booking APP is still working for ANDROID devices ✅

For those of you using our APP on APPLE devices, please use the booking system on our website

https://themensroombarbershop.co.uk/book/

We’ll let you know when the issue is resolved 😎

Good Evening Rainford!

On a day of upgrades/downgrades/bad transfers and polishing turds, I was so pleased and relieved to see that after closing down the Library , St Helens Council has sweetened the deal for Rainfordians with a BRAND NEW Bin right outside the old Library , at the bus stop that will no doubt shortly be stood redundant due to multiple road closures and temporary traffic lights.

In other news, the magnificent tree is almost gone.

Its a shame to be honest, it was the best tree the village has ever had. Same again next year please.

The Derby is still shut.
I personally witnessed 4 industrial scale microwaves being delivered today.
I have just ordered 2000 pairs of lead budgie smugglers in assorted sizes ahead of the grand reopening.

They will be available to buy from Rainfords Premier Watering hole from next week seeing as that is where most of the Derbys clientele have bunkered down since the closure.
Nice to see you all.
(Unless you have the audacity to sit in my seat 🤣).

The High School was closed today due to lack of water.
Teachers unanimously agreed that there was no way they could teach our obnoxious kids for a day without watering down their vodka.
A sentiment we can all probably agree with.

Thats enough for tonight

Mrs Times has just put f #£%ing Love island Allstars on.

Im off to bed with a dram

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!! 🥳

Good tidings one and all, and congratulations…we made it!

After all the shopping, planning, and rushing around, hopefully you can now enjoy the big day, eat too much, drink too much and finally have a sit down!

It’s been a mad December with our scissors constantly whirring away, and we hope we’ve done you proud and that you’re looking sharp 🤴

It’s at times like these, after all the chaos, that we truly appreciate what we do and what a fantastic group you are.

Honestly, we all love being barbers, but having such a great bunch of customers makes coming in every day an absolute pleasure 😊

So we just wanted to send you some love and wish you a very merry Christmas 🎄

See you on the other side 😎

Step into our new Happy Mondays club with Tony

Some extra special good news as we are inviting you all to Tony’s new Happy Mondays club! 🥳

As you know, our new barber Tony has been settling in well and he now wants to broaden our offer and take on the task of bringing back Monday opening in our Rainford shop.

So, for all those who love the start of the week (not me, but you do you) you can now book in with Tony on Mondays!

As we’re getting busier and busier, it just means we’ve got more slots to fit everyone in!

Bookings open now 🙃

Great to have Santa in today for a shape-up before the big day 🎅🏼

He told us his work is really ramping up at the moment so he made use of our booking system to get himself sorted 🎄

Be like Santa and get yourself booked in 🙃