Self Care Co.

Fall down a thousand times, get up a thousand and one. That’s what I keep telling myself..

Some radical honesty: there are days the world feels so heavy that I’m completely frozen by it.

And somehow, that’s exactly why what we do feels more important than ever. Spreading a little light. Reminding people they’re not alone, even when that voice on their shoulder tells them they’re not enough.

Be kind. You never know what someone is carrying behind closed doors. 💚

With love,
Cole

Is anyone else being insanely hard on themselves lately? 💚

We’re in September now, heading into the last few months of the year, and I’ve been reflecting back on where I was in January. I’ve come so far in so many ways - but I’m still not quite where I want to be. That’s part of why I’m embracing a slow September.

I’m making a real effort not to be so hard on myself. Honestly, it’s exhausting battling that voice every day, the one that says I’m not good enough. But there are so many amazing things I’ve done this year, so much this business has achieved - and right now I just want to lean into slowing down and appreciating all of it.

So if you’re like me, if you’ve got that little voice telling you you’re not enough - I’m telling you now: take a moment. Slow those thoughts down. They’re not real. They’re not who you truly are.

You are wonderful. You are enough.

With love,
Cole 💚

Our beautiful, wonderful, hurricane love 💚

Grateful every day to experience this wild life with you 🫶

Choosing your health isn’t giving up on your dreams - it’s choosing a way of reaching them that doesn’t cost you yourself (and trust me, I learnt this the hard way)

My biggest lessons since recovering from burnout:
Slow progress is still progress.
Slow can still mean success.

I’m really curious about this though, because I know slowing down is SO much easier said than done.

Do you feel like you’re able to slow down?

And if you have found ways to live a little slower, what actually helps you?

I’d really love to hear. Maybe we can all learn something from each other in the comments.

Love,
Cole 💛

9 years deep into building Self Care Co ❤️‍🩹…

I started this business while documenting my mental health recovery, during one of the hardest chapters of my life.

I’m now in a much, much better place 💚 and looking back, I’ve learnt so much about what actually helps me feel well - not just in business, but in life.

Here are some of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt along the way:

The main lesson:
Running a business has taught me a lot about business.

But I think, more importantly, it’s taught me a lot about how I actually want to live my life. 💚

Radical honesty: since coming back from my 30 days offline and stepping back from the business, I’ve found it so hard to figure out the how, why, what, and when to post again. I’ve been showing up here for nine years, documenting my mental health recovery and radical honesty. Recently, I’ve wanted to keep things far more private.

One thing I do want to share: after years of going back and forth, from now on I want to be called Cole. I was born Nicole, but it never quite felt right, through my teenage years, through struggling with my mental health, into my twenties and early thirties, I’ve struggled to separate the version of myself now with the past ‘Nicole’. I turned 34 a few days ago, and I’ve decided it’s time to step into who I really am. Cole feels right 💚🥹

This is a chance to let go of my past identity. To let go of the part of me that felt like a victim, that felt like everything was hard, because of course it was, and that journey is mine. But I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to build my future, let go of the pain of the past, and take Cole forward with me to build this life and business into what I know it can become 🙏

Thank you in advance for reading. Thank you for being here.

We have some huge dreams in motion for the next few months… watch this space.

Love,
Cole

33 was a tough year! I wanted to give up so many times. It turns out pushing through, persisting, trying new things and not always listening to your mind is where the gold is.

I pushed so many people and things I love away this year to essentially try to heal on my own but I’ve learnt the hard way that this doesn’t work, community, connecting with strangers and kindness is the key to my self care routine and I’m pretty sure if we all lived by the principal of focusing on connection, the world would be a happier place.

Anyway I am off for a day in the forest with a paintbrush , paints and a canvas with my wife and doggos.

I can’t wait to get back to the studio with my incredible studio manager Benjamin to make lots of magic happen,

Love to you all # #

Tomorrow I step away from my business for the first time in 9 years. Am I scared? Of course.

Since 2017, this business has been such a huge part of who I am. It’s been my purpose, my passion and, at times, my entire identity.

But I also know how incredibly lucky I am to have a team I trust completely to look after my precious baby while I take some time away.

The truth is, I couldn’t keep showing up every day feeling anxious, overwhelmed and unable to be in the studio without having a panic attack. So, for the first time in a very long time, I’m choosing me.

I don’t know exactly what the next month will bring, but I do know this: I can’t wait to find myself again.

Thank you for being here. I’ll see you on the other side. 💛

I’m taking one month off from my business to find myself again.

Over the last few years my body has shown me symptoms that I quietly ignored. My nervous system has been in a constant state of fight or flight. There are moments where I feel peace, but my body has been telling me to stop for a while now.

I have missed best friends weddings, family birthdays, and precious moments with my wife and friends - all because I pushed myself too hard and didn’t take time to rest.

The biggest problem with running a business is that the stop button doesn’t really feel like it can be pressed unless there’s an emergency. I don’t want to wait for an emergency to pause and put my health first.

How did I get here? Years of overworking to distract myself and cope with traumatic events in my life. Unfortunately, overworking doesn’t process trauma - it just represses it, until it screams to be heard.

Will SCC stop? No - the studio will still be open 💛 One of the best things to happen to Self Care Co. is meeting Benjamin, who is now our studio manager. He’ll be looking after online orders, wholesale, and our pop-up shop while I’m away. We are immensely lucky to have a team who seamlessly hand-craft hundreds and thousands of candles throughout the year.

A wise soul once told me to rest, don’t quit. And that’s what I’m doing.

I’m feeling so grateful, and aware of my privilege to take this time for my health. It wasn’t a decision I took lightly - but the risk of not taking it felt far greater than the risk of taking it.

I’m hoping these few precious weeks of silence and healing bring me back to myself. I know I’m strong, and able to thrive as a business owner - I’ll see you on the other side. Thank you all so much for allowing me to do what I love and for being there every step of the way.

Until then, thank you so, so much for your support. Online orders mean more than ever right now, and my wonderful team will be holding down the studio while I’m away 🙏💪

If you’re struggling too - please don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to someone, anyone. A friend, a family member, a professional. You are not alone in this, and you deserve so much support 💛

9 years!!!! How did that happen?

So many highs, so many lows, so many moments where I questioned if I was mentally strong enough to run this business. So many moments I wanted to give up. So many times I wanted to build a global movement and shout from the rooftops about how much I want to de-stigmatise mental illness.

This business has been by my side through the most mentally unwell I have ever been - and all the way to now, the healthiest version of myself. 4 years alcohol free and each day finding a way towards hope.

I could not have done any of this without every single one of you reading this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you for giving me my life back. Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t. Thank you for the confidence, the hope, the faith. Thank you for your messages over the years in some of my darkest moments.

I love that we are creating light in the physical form of candles - but also together, here, in this online community.

Thank you so much for your support, it means everything.

The future feels light. I hope that altogether we can slow down, connect with each other more in person, and keep spreading kindness for many more years to come.

Love,

Nicole # # #