Calorie Deficit Journey

I’m always happiest about my heart rate. I’m working towards pushing it down another ten beats per minute by improving my cardio activity some more. It’s a vital organ that needs my care.

On the steady weightloss journey again. No magic 7lb a week or anything wild. Slow and steady is best for me by far! Feels manageable. Weightloss becomes part of my life instead of taking over and becoming all I do. Feels right.

Hopefully this is the first of many pounds lost on this second part of my journey. The mental strength needed to overcome some hurdles in my life and make my health number one again was tough but here we are. Who knows what life might look like by Xmas? 🫶🏻

This week has been very good. Managed to do 10,000 steps per day except for one day where work just scuppered me then I had evening plans. Tried to compensate the next day but it was sooooo hot that I flaked at 13,000 😂.

Heart rate crept up slowly over the week. I wonder if this is due to the temperatures here climbing. We shall see. I was much happier in stage 1 of this journey when I got my resting heart rate down to 49. I felt much fitter. Let’s do this!

Third day in a row of managing more than 10,000 steps, hitting my cals target and onboarding that water 💪🏼

Out of the game for 20 weeks. One drama after another but I’m back and ready to get things back on track.

Back 👀

Life is complicated. Many people will tell you that your weightloss journey shouldn’t be derailed by anything and that every outing should be counted etc, is that real life? Not for me.

As you’ll know, I’ve been kind of absent for three months and I really want this journey to be honest and transparent. Firstly, thank you to those of you who DM’d me to ask how I was and to check on my well-being, you’re amazing people and you helped to sustain me during a hard time.

This is a long one so strap in.

Back in 2012 my husband had an affair just after we found out that it was very unlikely we’d be able to have children. He did the same again a year later and I asked for a divorce. Soon after this I discovered that the other woman was pregnant. She gave birth to his twins before our divorce was final. This has always impacted on my mental health but finally, in 2022, I felt like I had conquered it. As the weight dropped off, my confidence started to return and I ventured out into the dating world.

In January 2023 I met a wonderful man who makes me feel happy every single day. We talked at length about me not wanting a family and him wanting no more children, he has two. We just completely fell for each other, he made me breakfast in bed, bought me flowers and cooked valentines dinner. Everything was lovely and steady away, not rushing to take big steps. He was very supportive of my weightloss journey and cooked healthy meals with me and walked with me many days. I was in such a happy place.

In early March my weightloss stalled, I felt very tired and lost my motivation, it made no sense as I felt happier than ever before. I chalked it up to priorities changing.

As a carer for someone with dementia, some days are tougher than others. Around this time there were more tough days than good days.

On March 7th I sadly had a bereavement in my family which rocked me a little.

On 15th March I discovered that I was pregnant. This completely blew my head off. Having never been pregnant in my life, to be pregnant at 42, with PCOS and whilst taking contraception was insane. Especially because our relationship is very new and this was not in our plans. Due to the high risk nature of my pregnancy I had a scan and I was dated as being 6 weeks pregnant on March 21st. This was a hugely emotional time. Having a baby was definitely unplanned and I was terrified by this. My partner was also shell shocked. We talked for hours about what we might do and how we should proceed.

Sadly, on March 26th I miscarried. My partner was wonderful and never left my side.

Since then I have been trying to heal and work out what I want from my life. We booked a short holiday away and have had a lot of time to talk and to be together to try to make sense of things. We walked miles and bonded more than I imagined.

As a cherry on top of life’s difficult cake, I got double ear infections and both eardrums burst. At present I’m still trying to get my hearing back, it’s at about 10% just now.

Whilst this all sounds traumatic, I do feel ready to get back on track. During the pregnancy and the holiday, I gained ten pounds. I’m not shocked and I’m certainly not upset by it, it’s just weight. It’s within my control.

I’ve been walking this week and I’ve dropped 3lbs. The sun is out and things are looking up.

Is there a moral to the story? S**t happens I guess?

Here we go again