Beauty by Navee

I used to pray everyday to god to move the days very fast to 2028. So that he will announced as cancer free, there will be no more hospital visits, but now i just wish the days to move slower inch by inch, second by second, i just want more time with him. His hands holding mine while he sleeps he does that when he is in fear or pain, every night after the surgery he sleeps holding my hand, asking more questions about the unknown monster inside him.

When he shooted this Question “How many years or months or days i have ?” My mom heart knows how weighted that question is especially from my loving 11 yr old, im thinking about his mental health, what is his tiny brain thinks about this disease and process and everything, what he is going through deep inside in his mind, what all the fears he have, what his heart wants me to do,

I am not asking God to make the disease vanish in one day, i just ask this universe atleast to be easy on him here after, he already had enough, he fought more, he is a happy child, obeying, respecting, loving unconditionally, he never bothered anyone for anything, i dont want to see him suffer anymore, i dont want him to be in pain, just give him easy life whatever is left. Just be easy on him.
Standing before him as a helpless mother makes me hate myself more, just wishing No MOTHER Should stand here like me choosing between life and death for her loving little one.

Always remembering his exciting face when he see me from the 7months baby till now. Lithin always see me as a Hero, he says my amma knows everything. Yes knowing everything and standing silently with tied hands is so cruel now.

I couldn type more, i just want him to stay ok, do whatever he likes and live painfree. Amma loves you ladooo, sorry for everything. I dont know whats coming tomorrow, but i promise, amma will always be there for you, and fight for all that you need. Just be ok. 🐥❤️‍🩹