Daily lifestyle Diary

They will chase you into a relationship, when they finally get you, they start acting nonchalant like you forced them into it.

Sexual relationship with a married man should honestly be transactional only.

First of all, I am not here to judge anybody for who they choose to be with. Life happens, choices happen. But I will judge you if you are not looking out for yourself, especially as a woman.

Let us be honest. Married men are extremely selfish in these arrangements. They protect themselves first. Their home comes first. Their image comes first. Their peace comes first. You are convenience, not priority.

The more time you spend with someone, the higher the chance of emotions developing. That is just human nature. But while you are catching feelings, he is catching calls from his wife and answering them in front of you without blinking. You will be the one playing dead, keeping quiet, pretending you do not exist, while he is busy professing love and commitment to another woman.

He will demand loyalty from you but offer none in return. He will get jealous at the slightest hint of another man around you. You cannot freely answer your calls in his presence, yet he does exactly that in yours. He will police your life while his own life is completely off limits to you.

You cannot call him when you want. You cannot show up when you want. You cannot post him. You cannot claim him. You cannot even be sick loudly. Everything about you must be managed so his marriage remains intact.

Now pause and ask yourself real questions.

In all these things you are doing, what exactly do you stand to gain.

What problem is he solving for you?

What contract is he helping you to secure?

What business idea is he funding or supporting?

What skill is he paying for you to learn?

What car is he buying you?

What house is he putting your name on?

How much is he actually giving you consistently, not promises, not stories, not vibes.

What is in the bag for you.

Because let us be clear. Love is not in the bag. Commitment is not in the bag. Marriage is not in the bag. Respect is not even guaranteed.

You are risking your time, your emotions, your body, your reputation and sometimes your safety, for a man whose real life you are not part of.

Please, nobody is doing stupid love this year.

If it is not worth it, if it is not adding value, if it is not moving you forward in any tangible way, kindly carry yourself and go back to your Emeka the builder. At least Emeka will respect you openly and not hide you like contraband.

Protect yourself. Always ask what am I gaining here. Feelings do not pay bills and secrecy does not build futures.

Chukwudi Somack Mmesoma

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