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Saw a video where someone called using a washing machine a sin, claiming the clothes need to be hand washed for the wife to get the blessing attached.

Imagine how many young men may have gone home with that mindset.

Life is already challenging enough as it is, use whatever means and tool available to you to make is easier.

- Having a maid to help out doesn't mean you won't teach your children.
- Pepper grounded with a blender is not less effective and delicious.
- Where schedule is a challenge, frozen food to be microwaved on the go helps a lot.
- Washing machine is no longer a luxury.

The list is endless.

Gone are the days where marriage required skills such as the ability to pound with mortar and pestle, make vegetable soup and sweep a whole compound. Now, the values sought are deeper; intelligence, enlightenment, leadership, goal orientation, life goal, entrepreneurship, versatility, financial stability and general coordination are more likely to get you married and keep you married. While in the marriage, these are also more likely to make life easier for you.

Why sweep a whole compound and wash a mountain of clothes at the same time as cooking at the same time as sweeping and doing several other things without expecting to get lost?

Why do all when there are given ways to make it easier?

It is true that realities differ but the hard way is not the only way, the hard way is not the smart way. Irony: the hard way is not even always the cheapest way. Seeking easier routes to life does not make you lazy, it doesn't make you less of a wife, and it doesn't make you less responsible as a person.

This is where many refer to mothers wrong, forgetting even they, at different points had help in the form of maids, nieces and family from the village. If they had more, they would embrace it and be happier.

Yes, sometimes these things need financial backing which we may not have so we go back to analogue ways as we strive to get better. This is absolutely fine but don't get it twisted, a smart head is what super wives are made of, not a suffer head.

Understand, people have choices as it makes them happy.

It doesn’t have to be haram or forbidden for a person not to desire it.

Polygyny may be acceptable but people have choices and some do not desire it.

A suitor may not be educated or wealthy and there’s nothing wrong in a person not desiring that, it doesn’t mean others won’t desire those suitors.

Some people can stay in a family house, some cannot.

Let people make the choices that make them happy. It’s theirs after all.

At the end life is all about choices and it doesn’t have formulas or rules …

Couples aren’t enlightened enough on how relocation will affect the dynamics of their marriages so many don’t plan for it.

It’s becoming a trend to find people move and a few years later the marriage is dissolved.

Understand, marriage in your home country is different from marriage abroad in different critical areas.

A typical example is authority of husband. Unfortunately, many wives go abroad holding a grudge and a revenge plan even to the extent of involving law enforcement.

Many of the marriages that fail abroad already were poor back home with many wives poorly treated and voiceless. Imagine suddenly being in an environment that empowers you, enables you and protects you. This is a nightmare for power drunk husbands.

Another reason is finance. Contrary to the popular belief, the life abroad is not as easy as people think back home. Yes, you get paid but you work for your money. This means that you both need to work to balance out. A situation where a wife who used to be poor or unemployed suddenly finds a much better paying job means a husband used to controlling with money suddenly cannot do that anymore which changes the dynamics of the marriage. This is the point many complain about a wife that got arrogant or changed abroad without being able to state exactly how.

The work shifts for many are round the clock meaning the togetherness of the family can also be affected. New friends means new influence and sometimes new habits including infidelity.

Add all the above together and it can prove difficult for many to navigate. That is not to say every family will break, many get stronger for it, it’s just a case of how enlightened you are on what’s coming and how united and transparent you stay to each other.

Sister, before you go into a union, you may want to check and verify the following. You cannot know it all but you can know enough.

Do you know who he is? (Where he works, what he does, relevant past, aspirations, values, character etc)

Do you feel connected to him?

Have his family shown you preliminary acceptance?

Have you seen enough to know you can handle his anger and frustration?

Does he have a mind of his own?

Are you able to just talk and laugh?

Is he able to listen and take corrections?

Does he have an acceptable legal financial means to take care of you and himself? (Do you both have it worked out?)

Does he lie?

Does he have a spirituality level you are comfortable with?

Do genotypes match and other health tests check out?

Is he accepted by your family?

Does he have a defined direction?

Does this direction fit yours?

Has he displayed the maturity and emotional makeup of a husband you want?

Does he drink and/or use drugs?

What he has is one thing, what he is able to give is another. Is he stingy to you?

Is he rude to you?

Does he treat you like a property without an opinion around him?

**To verify means to confirm that the answers to the above questions match what you desire and can handle, independently (not by what he says)

B.ad shildren 😂😂

1. Just marry, the money will come

2. Just marry, the love will come

3. Marry another wife, the first wife will behave herself and your home will be peaceful

4. Don’t enjoy luxuries, you won’t get a husband

5. Love covers everything

6. The mother in law is always a problem

7. Marry your friend, you won’t fight in marriage

8. Fertility issues are always from the woman

9. She didn’t “give me” a son

10. Perky will never sag

11. It will be turgid and strong forever

12. Prayer alone can prevent divorce

13. The divorced has bad character

14. Children from a divorce will not turn out good

15. The woman is always the victim

16. Long courtship let’s you know it all

17. Men cheat more than women

18. The wife that suffers quietly is the good one

19. The husband must always initiate intimacy

20. If she has standards, she’s too choosy and will “stay long in her father’s house”

Take good care of yourself 🥰

Na until I chop I go spray una money oo
If I no chop I go carry my money go chop 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anywhere your name is mentioned,
Grace will speak for you!!!
🔥🔥🔥