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When your child is not listening, don’t be too quick to blame DNA. Look at the child’s temperament, environment, communication, and the way you are parenting. This helps you restructure better.

BOOST THE CONFIDENCE OF THAT TEENAGER AS THEY GO OUT TO FACE A NEW SESSION.

1. Review last session honestly.
What worked? What didn't? Don't only discuss their poor grades. Discuss friendships, behaviour, confidence and study habits too. Suggest a better approach, ask for opinion, react with a smile and nod to indicate approval or just shrug to leave it up to them, no force, no warning, no threat. (Note that the topic in discussion here does not pose any danger. Use such situations to give space for learning decision making).

2. Set realistic goals together.
Instead of “You must come first,” ask: “What do you want to improve this session, and how can we help you?”
Applaud improvement plan. Offer help where asked and simply say "I believe in you" where none is asked. Children tend to do better when they know that their parents trust and believe in them.

3. Most importantly, remind them that:
A new session is a new opportunity. One mistake, one poor grade or one difficult day does not define them. Making or not making effort to do better is what will. Promise them you are always going to help without humiliating them. Let them no that the best way to solve very difficult situations they can not handle is talking to not just anyone but their parents.

KEEP IN MIND:
I am not an advocate of gentle parenting, neither am I an advocate of the type of parenting where children are afraid to be themselves.
Finding a balance between confidence and discipline is my idea.
Proverbs 22:15 (KJV):
“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Children naturally need guidance and boundaries as they grow in wisdom and self control.

Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Discipline is part of training, not simply punishment.

Colossians 3:21
“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
A child can obey you and still become discouraged inside. The manner of correction matters.

2 Timothy 1:7
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
Our children should not be raised to obey simply because they are terrified of us. We want confidence guided by sound judgment.

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What every parent should remember.

We prepare the school bag, buy the books, pay the fees and arrange the uniforms but we must also prepare the child's mind and heart for another school year.

Send them back with confidence, not fear.
Tell your children: “You can do difficult things. You can ask for help. And no matter what happens at school, you can always talk to me.

Also remember that teachers need your partnership.
If a teacher raises a concern about your child, listen before becoming defensive. Your goal and the teacher's should be the child's growth.

What else do you think we should remember? Please write in the comments section. Let's learn and be prepared.

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Because I said so: Should not be your parenting vocabulary.

Parents have authority, but children also benefit from understanding why certain rules exist.
A child who understands the reason behind a rule is more likely to develop good judgment, not just fear punishment.

Of course, not every situation needs a long explanation sometimes safety requires immediate obedience.
But most of the time?, match questions with the reason. You are raising a child who will one day have to make decisions without you.

Be honest: When your child asks Why?, do you explain the reason, or do you simply expect them to obey?

Let's know each other's experience so far. Drop yours in the comment section, I will be waiting there with my mine.

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Appreciation.
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Don't solve every conflict for your children.

Two or more children can safely resolve a disagreement themselves. Believe it, all you need is to give them room to practise negotiation while you quietly monitor.

Meanwhile some of our solutions to their conflicts seem like siding to them. Resolving disagreements themselves gives them the opportunity to learn how to bond and peacefully live with each other. You won't always be there to settle arguments for them.

Could you add more suggestions to the topic?
The comment section is open. Thank you.

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Let your children hear you admit when you are wrong:
Saying Daddy/Mummy was wrong about that, doesn't reduce your authority.
It teaches accountability. Raising accountable children is a step in building a better society.

Agreed or disagreed?. Make your point in the comment section, let's learn from each other.
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Don't make obedience the only measure of a good child:

A child who asks questions isn't necessarily disrespectful. Sometimes they are developing the confidence to think independently.

If you force obedience don't get upset with overdependence.

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Help the kids grow into confidence.
Confidence can take them into a stage where qualifications are not enough.

Don't make your oldest child a second parent.

Giving children responsibilities is healthy. Making them responsible for raising their siblings is different.

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