Astar Ozor

In my family, the eldest daughter is expected to get married before the youngest. I have four siblings, one big sister and three big brothers. I am the last born. My big sister is six years older than me, and we have always been very close. She has always been there for me.

When she turned twenty five, her boyfriend of three years proposed to her. I do not know what really happened, because she never talked about it much, but the wedding was cancelled at the last minute. That incident broke her. She fell into depression for a couple of years, and I tried my best to be there for her.

When I turned twenty one, I started seriously dating a man called Phillip. When I was twenty four, he wanted to get engaged. I wanted it too, but I told him I was not ready yet, even though I was. The truth was that I was waiting for my big sister to meet someone and get married first. But she was not ready to date anyone at all.

Eventually, I gathered the courage to tell her about Phillip’s proposal. She became very angry and told me to stay in my lane. She said she had to get married before me. She told me that if I truly loved and respected her as my big sister, I would wait for her to get married first. Because I loved and respected her, I agreed. I told her I would refuse Phillip’s proposal.

Shortly after that, she started dating. They broke up after a couple of months. She dated another man. That one lasted about six months, and they broke up again. This pattern continued for two years. Throughout that time, I was still dating Phillip, and I could see that he was getting tired of waiting.

After two years, I had had enough. I was almost twenty seven. I decided I would marry Phillip, no matter what. This time, I did not tell my big sister. I knew she would not agree or understand. I accepted Phillip’s proposal and spoke to my parents privately, begging them to accept my marriage.

They initially refused because they did not want to hurt or betray my sister. But I cried endlessly and refused to eat. Eventually, they agreed. I have always been my father’s favourite, and he could not bear to see me suffer.

When my big sister heard that I was getting married, she became furious and asked my parents to cancel the wedding. They refused. I was growing older, and she was not getting married anytime soon.

When she realized she could not manipulate my parents, she tried to seduce Phillip. I was shocked when Phillip told me what she attempted to do. I never imagined she could go that far. I was deeply disappointed in her.

When her plan failed, she threatened to end her l!f£ if the wedding went ahead. At that point, I had completely lost my patience. In anger, I told her to hurry up and do it so that my wedding could go on smoothly. Immediately after saying it, I felt terr!ble and guilty.

Am I the a$$hole for saying that? And should I apologise to her?

Hello please keep me anonymous.Two weeks ago I met a guy at Adenta.He was driving and stopped me.His first words were Hello dear I dont want to deceive you you are beautiful and I want to s£x with you.It was funny and annoying but I thought he was being honest instead of pretending and deceiving me.I rejected it and tried to walk away but he asked for my contact saying I might change my mind.Later he called and said the same thing and I agreed and asked what was in it for me and he said anything I wanted.He was driving a nice car so I said I would think about it.The next day he called and asked me to come to his place and we had s£x.Afterwards he asked what I wanted and I said I had not decided because I did not want to look greedy.He gave me 100 Ghana cedis for transport and told me to think about it.Two days later he called again and when I went there he said his friend was around and they both wanted to have s£x with me.He said if I did not want it they would not force me.I said no but after he finished he begged again and I agreed, so his friend also had s£x with me.After that he asked what I wanted and I said a phone because I am using an iPhone XR with a broken screen.I told him anything better than it.He then bought an Android phone and said my iPhone was old so the Android was to support it.When I said I wanted an iPhone he said I should go and come later.Since then he has been avoiding my calls saying he is busy and he never calls back.It has been over a week now.He has sl£pt with me twice and all I got was 100 Ghana cedis and transport money.He has not said anything again and I am worried and confused.What should I do. Should I take him to court or police station?

I've been dating my girlfriend for 1 year, and I think l've lost feelings, I just don't feel the vibes again. She can do everything a man can do, and it's confusing my spirit.

One day my water tank had issues. I wasn't home.
Instead of calling me, she carried two full gallons to the neighbor's well, fetched water, brought them back at once like a gym bro. It surprised me because I have only seen boys with muscles carry gallons at onces.

Another day, I gave her money for stew. She bought live chicken, killed it, dressed it, cooked stew and even pounded yam. I didn't ask for all these things, I just wanted a simple food. Last time, she helped my neighbor change his generator plug and serviced it.
Even me, a man, can't do it.

She's very pretty, doesn't look masculine at all but she's just too strong. I feel like if we get robbed, she will protect me. Please, how do I break up without sounding like a weak man? Right now, I think I'm the girlfriend in this relationship.

I ended my marriage on the day of my wedding. september 25th was supposed to be a happy day for me and my family, but it turned into a very sad day. the truth is that my husband's family never wanted me as their daughter-in-law because i come from a very poor family. i did not force myself on their son. he saw me, loved me, and decided to make me his life partner and wife. all the times his family spoke to me rudely, i ignored it because my husband always told me to endure it for his sake. on that faithful day which was our wedding day, i begged my sick mother to be present to witness my wedding because i am her only daughter among four sons. our wedding took place in the state where my husband was based, so my family and friends had to travel a long distance to attend. after the church wedding, we all moved to the reception venue. my mother, who was sick, was still trying to do what a mother should do for her daughter, making sure everything was in order. not long after, she started feeling dizzy and i asked her to quickly go and eat something. my mother went to the kitchen to get food when my sister-in-law saw her and asked her to drop the food, questioning whose permission she got to enter the kitchen. my tired mother asked her if she had no respect for elders. next thing, my sister-in-law gave my mother a sl@p and my mother fell down. this led to shouting and drew people's attention. it was a very embarrassing moment for me and my family. out of anger, i returned the sl@p to my sister-in-law and even marked her face with my ring. immediately, i removed my wedding ring, threw it at them, and asked for a divorce. that was the end of my marriage. my friends said i overreacted and that i shouldn't have sl@pped my sister-in-law, but i don't think i was wrong for my actions and decision. please, what do you think? should i go and apologize to my husband's family even though we might never get back together again?