The League of Extraordinary Gentleman Ltd
Men's Health and Wellness. Fusing Science with Te Ao Maori.
Creating the first company in NZ to unify Medical, Psychological, Mental, Physical Health and Nutrition, Financial Services, Communication Courses, Etiquette, Relationship and Sex-Ed
03/12/2022
What do you plan on doing with your one wild and precious life?
In her poem The Summer Day, Mary Oliver ends with these two lines:
"Tell me what it is you plan to with your one wild and precious life?"
As your habits are fortified each day, dedicate a few moments to pondering her question. No rush to answer, just invite the question. Gently.
These mountains you are traveling on your journey, they're all connected. These steps you are taking will add up and create your entire journey. You are on a much larger quest than each habit might seem. But know they are not isolated.
This is one great tapestry you are weaving. It is one stitch at a time, but know it is a wondrous and beautiful thing you are creating. And what is more - that only you could create.
We want to learn what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life. What is more we want to see that unfold. The mountains ahead contain passages for that purpose. Keep on your quest and the path will reveal itself.
Simplify your life.
One of the things you can do here on your path is rest. Set all your baggage down for a while. No matter the source of your burnout, this is your own personal sanctuary. Wander through your imagination to a place you can sift through possibilities that will make a real difference to your life.
Inhale now, and feel the tension leaving your neck as your shoulders drop just a little. Now close your eyes...
Imagine a tree in front of you. It can be a a huge as a redwood or as tiny as a bonsai. Your task is to prune it so that it grows in a balanced and beautiful way. You can clip the the little shoots that that fork out of the branches or you can clip the branches themselves where they meet the trunk. Both techniques are often needed.
When you reflect on your life, are there large projects you can consider cancelling? What piece of your life if removed, would make your world immediately better? Can you prune those branches clean off the trunk?
And what tiny shoots further up. The one's that fork off branches you will not be cutting away. Are there small commitments you can reschedule? Can you space things out? What can you say no to, and why aren't you saying it?
The American author Toni Morrison said, "if you want to fly, you need to give up the things that weigh you down"
If you are over-committed, and your projects are time-consuming, the result is all too simple. You'll run out of hours in the day without doing the things that will replenish you. This approach will necessarily backfire. One is caught in a false economy with drained energy stores. The maslach burnout inventory (used to test exhaustion, cynicism and professional efficacy) regularly demonstrates that spending more energy than one is generating can only result in a depleted state.
Remember your tree. Cut out big things. Trim away what you can. (And at the very least, don't say yes to more.) pruning these branches means the tree will grow strong and resplendent. Give up the things that weigh you down so you can fly.
Reframe "burnout" as time to reassess your story. Dawn is coming.
You know the setting. It is the world as you know it reflected here on your path.
You know the main character.
It is you. You are the hero of this tale.
This is that moment in every story... Where things look rough and hope is hard to come by.
But this moment is actually just before the dawn.
The American author Julia Cameron writes, "Creativity - like human life itself - begins in darkness. We need to acknowledge this. All too often, we think only in terms of light: "and then the lightbulb came on, and I got it." It is true that insight may come to us as flashes. Some of these flashes may indeed be blinding. It is, however, that such bright ideas see preceded by a gestation period that is interior, murky, and completely necessary."
There are nutrients that you're gathering here on your path that are the key ingredient of growth. Reframe burnout as a time to think through what you really want. Your eyes have become accustomed to the darkness. You can see the shape of things with quiet clarity. The Sufi poet Rumi said, "Be patient when you sit in the dark, the dawn is coming."
Know that the sun is about to spill its golden light across the landscape and illuminate your inner horizon. But first, take a deep breath, right here in your own corner of the world. Let your shoulders relax. Feel any tension evaporating from your neck. This is your own private time reevaluate and reassess what is working and what you'd like to change.
Like fields left fallow for an entire growing season, your soil needs enrichment before planting new crops. Burnout can be that time in your life when you finally nourish yourself in ways you've never stopped to do before. You are writing the story if your life, one that only you can tell. You can still change the ending. You can change what happens in the next chapter. You can change what happens on this very page. This story belongs to you. Tell it.
Can't
Can't is the worst word that's written or spoken;
Doing more harm here than slander and lies;
On it is many a strong spirit broken,
And with it many a good purpose dies.
It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning
And robs us of courage we need through the day:
It rings in our ears like a timely-sent warning
And laughs when we falter and fall by the way.
Can't is the father of feeble endeavor,
The parent of terror and half-hearted work;
It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,
And makes of the toiler an indolent shirk.
It poisons the soul of the man with a vision,
It stifles in infancy many a plan;
It greets honest toiling with open derision
And mocks at the hopes and the dreams of a man.
Can't is a word none should speak without blushing;
To utter it should be a symbol of shame;
Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;
It blights a man's purpose and shortens his aim.
Despise it with all of your hatred of error;
Refuse it the lodgment it seeks in your brain;
Arm against it as a creature of terror,
And all that you dream of you some day shall gain.
Can't is the word that is foe to ambition,
An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;
Its prey is forever the man with a mission
And bows but to courage and patience and skill.
Hate it, with hatred that's deep and undying,
For once it is welcomed 'twill break any man;
Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying
And answer this demon by saying: "I can."
Design your life to minimize reliance on willpower.
You have already taken two giant steps. You've realized you might be burnt out, and you have claimed your path here.
What now?
Stanford Professor, Bj Fogg wrote, "Design your life to minimize reliance on willpower." This is good advice in general, but especially important for those facing burnout.
Think like a designer or an engineer for a moment, and look at the many steps involved in your day. Imagine you have a birds-eye view and can see your movements like you're watching an ant trail from above. Is it scattered? Or streamlined? Are you wasting the energy you desperately need right now? If there is chaos that can be simplified, then take an easy breath, there is a shortcut.
Consolidate your most important habits. If you take vitamins, place those nearby a glass of water, as hydration is also an important habit. Turn your next meeting into a walking meeting as a way to make sure you have movement in your day. Habit stacking will save time, but more importantly, it's a way to make sure those nourishing actions don't get cancelled out of your day. All those first mountain commitments here....Hydration, Movement, Rest, and Nutrition.
Do this for a while and you'll notice you'll not only gain time back but start to feel more balanced and nourished simply by committing to the basics of self-care.
After a while, you'll be able to notice which activities are those that are intrinsically important to you. Amidst the chaos, it is entirely likely that you did feel connected to at least some of your commitments from the inside but haven't been able to enjoy them fully.
American Author James Clear writes, "The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes a clear part of your identity. It's one thing to say I'm the type of person who wants this. It's something very different to say I'm the type of person who is this."
When you're burned out, the authentic connection with what you love can become obscured. You may really love learning, or an aspect of your work, or caregiving to someone older or younger. Reclaim your identity as burnout subsides.
Realize that you have a center of gravity all your own.
When you feel exhaustion setting in, it is time to withdraw and restore yourself. If you feel demoralized, it is best to pause and recenter instead of acting from a place of depletion.
The American author Parker Palmer wrote, "One sign that I am violating my own nature in the name of nobility is a condition called burnout. Though usually regarded as the result of trying to give too much, burnout in my experience results in trying to give what I do not possess... If I try to be or do something noble that has nothing to do with who I am, I may look good to others and myself for a while. But the fact that I am exceeding my limits will eventually have consequences. I will distort myself the other, and our relationship - and may end up doing more damage than if I had never set out to do this particular "good"."
Now that you are here, on your path, breathe in and feel the earth supporting you.
Realize that you have a center of gravity: if you lean too far forward you stumble, if you lean too far back you fall. But find your center and your strength abounds.
Your life follows the same pattern as your body. If too much pulls at you from any direction, you are literally and figuratively overextending yourself. The result? Your stability.
If your systems are overloaded, fret not. Know that this is solvable. The American author James Clear shares a clue to finding your way forward. He wrote, "You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems"
Ask yourself, are your systems reliable for the long voyage to your goals? Realize that you are not serving your short-term or long-term goals. When you give of yourself in a way that leaves you undernourished, both suffer.
If you can find a way to unplug, do it. Reconnect with yourself in a big way if you can. And if you can't you can still recenter through tiny steps. Reclaim your first mountain here by commuting to hydration, rest, nutrition, and movement, even in the tiniest amounts. Keep at it and a natural rebalancing will begin.
Today, don't change a thing just wake up.
When one is in a state of burnout, even the idea of making changes can sometimes feel arduous. And so, what if there were a way ahead without the heavy lifting. What if you could unlock the door to freedom through a simple thought experiment?
The American author Annie Dillard wrote, "An infant watches her hands and feels them move. Gradually she fixes her own boundaries at the complex incurred rim of her skin. Later she touches one I'm to another and tries for a game to distinguish each hands sensation of feeling and being felt."
Can you imagine that you were once such a creature. With arms outstretched above you as you felt one hand touch another and figured out what they were?
So here is your thought experiment. Until the sun rises or the sunsets (you choose which) change nothing. Spend the next few hours just as you would. With one big difference. Plug in. Become aware. Notice what you're doing. Bring no judgement, just pay attention to how it feels. No matter what it is. Washing your hands, how one hand feels upon the other. If you are looking at something. Really Look, see that object, that face, that building, that landscape and soak in every detail. Here, on your path, the only task today is to notice that you exist at all.
The American poet mary Oliver said, "To pay attention, this our endless and proper work."
If it feels too busy to change. If it feels unrealistic to make any significant changes. Don't yet.
Just wake up first.
29/11/2022
Burnout.
Forged from the power of Burnout now rise from the ashes.
Listen to the silence it has so much to say.
Close your eyes and imagine you are walking down a road next to a tall wall.
You let a finger trail upon the surface of the smooth stones. Your fingers stop when they touch a door handle. You take a step and look up. You've come to a door set in a stone archway. The handle is heavy. Your turn it, and step through. On the other side of this door is your path.
The air is immediately softer. It is quiet here. The foothills almost glow in the sun's filtered light. The Sufi poet Rumi said, "Listen to the silence it has so much to say."
Common causes are one's job...or for students, it can be to rigorous and academic schedule or competing responsibilities. Or if you are a caregiver the stress involved can be a heavy burden to carry. If one is dealing with relationship issues that don't find their way to a resolution this too can lead to burnout. The first step is to pause, right here, right now. And just breathe a while.
"Listen to the silence, it has so much to say."
As the air fills your lungs you are creating space for your truth to gently settle in, like that filtered sunlight upon the foothills. Whatever is causing you stress, isolate the thought here. See it clearly. Stand up taller than it in your mind's eye. Let it know you will tend to it.
But first, rest here, breathing in gratitude for all that you value. See the things you love in your mind's eye as clearly as you see your stressors. Let the loom large in your horizon so they cast a soft shadow on the cause of your burnout.
There are many ways to rejuvenate yourself when you feel emptied out. Many techniques are around here, and you can return to them day after day. But this is simply a moment of clarification. Stand and center yourself rather rather then be swept away. Anchor yourself here in the clarity of your own mind while the overwhelming current rushes past.
"Listen to the silence, it has so much to say"
24/05/2022
25/01/2022
Like a ninja. Not all steps of your journey need to be broadcast for the world to see, sometimes the best moves are made in silence.
Sometimes you have to do what's best for you and your life, not what's best for everybody else.
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