Jacky in Manila

孩子經常會有叛逆的時候，會有不聽父母話的時候，會有讓父母失望的時候。

但不管如何，只要是對的價值觀，請永遠不要在孩子面前，插手管教，除了違反保護原則。

父母在管教上經常會有失控的時候，但千萬別站在另一半的對立面。在團結一心的家庭中長大的孩子，從小就能學會正直與誠信的重要性。只有雙親對價值觀的想法一致，孩子才能鑄造出優秀的品格。

有一次，姊弟倆為了不睡覺的事而被訓斥。中間情緒過激，就要把孩子掃地出門，還好另一半及時制止。我倆觀念都是該睡覺就好好睡覺，加上隔天又有行程，晚睡對早起有影響，因此對這件事情感覺惱火。但是在不違背方向一致的原則下，雙方還是得有人互相照應，以免做出傷害極深的事。

也因為我們觀念一致，小孩也不敢靠勢，犯錯而遭訓的狀況下，也沒有人可以依賴，只能好好思考並反省自己的錯誤。也養成他們能夠在混亂的學習環境中，出汙泥而不染，擁有定力跟保有正確的價值觀。不會錯誤混淆不當的行為是好玩還是惡作劇。

家庭的和諧與愛是他們人格養成的搖籃，我們衷心盼望這樣的孩子，長大後將這份正直與和諧帶入社會，成為社會的貴人。

孩子們從懵懂無知，到成為一位有責任、有擔當的大人，能夠在世界尋找生命的意義，追求每一次的成長機會，都綻放著家庭的愛與教導。

昔日孩子們包著尿布，在噴水池中央快樂戲水的樣子，仍在我的心中印下很深的一個記憶。那段日子簡單又充實。

隨著他們長大，需要的照料更多了。責任心、公德心、愛心都是需要種在他們心中的種子，而且這些種子還需要小心照顧，在還沒長成之前就棄之不顧的話，這顆種子就浪費了。

我們使用了好習慣養成表，讓好習慣在一個月中慢慢培養。隨著勾起來的格子越多，孩子們也不用我們再繼續提醒他們完成每日任務，也讓他們養成了責任心。

我也盡量使用鼓勵的語氣，讚美兒子跟女兒的好行為。

「你今天很主動積極耶」「你今天用獨特的味覺讚美媽媽的料理」

在上帝的教導中，我也要成為一個有好眼光的父親。

刻意練習是我最近在閱讀的書，作者寫道：刻意練習需要優先找一個好的導師，我想妻子就是我成為一個好爸爸練習的導師。可以給我在互動中，不斷的反饋，讓我跟孩子的關係越來越好。

不只孩子在家庭中變好，我自己也越來越好。甚至，在領導部門同事的過程中，我也覺得做得更出色。

我相信是家的愛教會我們如何堅強、如何勇敢，如何在這個繁華世界中保持本質的純淨和堅實。

家庭是孩子夢想起航的港灣。

父親擔任船長，引領子女揚帆出航。母親則是燈塔，照亮歸港的方向。

在家中，有男孩跟女孩，妻子特別照顧他們的身心發展，尤其在馬尼拉這個交通不便的地方，早上五點半出門，下午五點才回到家。前後有四個小時都在馬路上。

因此自學成為我們一致的決定。在家自學不是一個簡單的決定，要先寫計劃，制訂學習時程，然後找適合的學習平台。我們也以興趣出發，在孩子熱愛的minecraft為起點上，安排他們學習了火花學院的python跟scratch程式課程，逐步架構邏輯觀念及分析問題的能力。當然，還剛從起跑線出發而已。

我倆也很幸運，在教會的營隊活動中，認識了劉牧師跟師母。他們分享了十歲女兒在菲律賓自學的經驗及使用的系統，讓我們有了一個方向。

希望透過興趣，培養出他們解決問題的能力。在出航冒險時，可以靠智慧來克服障礙，而不是逃向後方的燈塔。

孩子們逐夢的過程是非常快樂的，他們將心中所思所想的化為燃料，轉成實現。在minecraft的過程中，我們發現姊姊是一個具有創造力及領導力的人，弟弟則是具有學習力及解決問題能力的。兩個人相輔相成，各同創造屬於自己的世界。

在這裡，每一份鼓勵都能轉化為他們達成目標的動力，每一次支持都是他們不懼風雨、挑戰高峰的信心。因為有了家的港灣，成年的孩子得以揚帆遠航，追求更高的人生境界。

Family values are the soil in which a man grows robustly.
Honesty, respect, responsibility, and love are the core values passed down in families, guiding every man to become a better person.
Honesty allows a man to develop his career and win much trust.
Respect enhances a man's social skills, making him successful in all endeavors.
Responsibility gives a man steadiness, making him accountable to his career and family.
Love motivates a man to give selflessly, without reservation.

The family plays an important role in cultivating these values.
Parents should gradually establish these notions in everyday life and consistently lead by example.
Never make promises lightly, but once made, ensure they are fulfilled.
Teach children to take responsibility, to take care of affairs at home.
When a man's life is deeply rooted in these values, he not only thrives in his personal life but also exerts a positive influence in society, becoming a person worthy of respect.

家庭價值觀是男人茁壯成長的土壤。
誠信、尊重、責任和愛是家庭傳承的核心價值，這些價值觀指引著每一位男性成為更好的人。
誠信可以讓男人事業發展，贏得許多信任。
尊重提升男人的社交能力，讓他無往不利。
責任賦予男人穩重，對事業及家庭負責。
愛讓男人主動付出，毫不藏私。

家庭在培養這些價值觀的過程中，是一個重要的角色。
父母在生活中要逐步建立這些觀念，時常身體力行。
不輕易承諾，一旦承諾，必定實現。
讓孩子學會承擔責任，負責家中的事務。
當一個男人的生活深深植根於這些價值觀，他不僅在個人生活中茁壯成長，也能在社會中發揮積極影響力，成為值得尊敬的人物。

Behind every successful man, there often lies a family that silently contributes and selflessly nurtures. Conversely, behind a failed man, there might be a family that has lost its function of education and upbringing.
Many social incidents reflect the importance of family education; in each tear-jerking accident, there is a broken family.
During the six months of school life in the Philippines, I was particularly concerned about my children's learning at school.
But concern turned into worry.

My son mentioned that his Chinese classmates often bullied him, and the teacher ignored it.
On the school bus, older students also bully the younger ones, but the bus nanny turns a blind eye.

Education centered around the family is indeed very important; children take their parents as role models, and parents should pay more attention to their own words and deeds.

Becoming a man, from childhood teaching to adult support, the family of origin is their solid backing and the cornerstone of their beliefs.
The families they build later are modeled on their original families.
Learning to be strong in each fall and to be humble in each success, the love and support of the family are indispensable forces on their path to success.

成功的男人背後，往往有一個默默付出、無私培育的家庭。
反過來說，失敗的男人背後，可能家庭也失去了教育教養的功能。
很多社會事件都能反映出家庭教育的重要，在一件件另人淚流的事故中，就是一個個破碎的家庭。
在半年的菲律賓學校生活中，對孩子們在學校的學習特別關心。
但關心反而變成了擔心。

從兒子說中國的同學經常欺負他，任課老師也漠視不管。
校車上，也有高年級的欺負低年級，但校車保姆也置之不理。

以家庭為核心的教育是真的非常重要的，孩子都是以父母為榜樣，家長更應重視自己的言行舉止。

成為一個男人，從孩提時期的教導到成年後的支持，出身家庭都是他們堅實的後盾，信念的基石。
爾後建立的家庭，更是以原生家庭為模版。
在每一次跌倒中學會堅強，在每一次成功中學會謙遜，家庭的愛與支持是他們成功路上不可或缺的力量。

Family not only forges a man's resilient will but also shapes their compassionate souls. In the crucible of love and responsibility, men learn how to be unyielding in the face of difficulties while maintaining gentleness and kindness in their hearts.

When I first came to the Philippines, the living conditions were actually very poor.
The toilet was shared among many people; sitting on the toilet, someone might suddenly come in to brush their teeth. Luckily, having served in the military, I was somewhat able to endure it.

Because I slept under an air conditioner vent, I received a blanket from a colleague who left after two days, and it took a week of endurance under the air conditioning before I could change my bed.

Fortunately, I had a mobile phone to use, relying on calls with my wife for emotional stability. At that time, I was working twelve-hour shifts and didn't have much opportunity to talk to the children. But the thought of earning a bit more money in the future kept me going.

In these harsh conditions, many Filipinos have it even harder. This Christmas, we initiated a donation drive, and I contributed some money on behalf of my entire family.

The main reason is that since we've earned a bit of money here, we hope to give back some strength and warmth to society.
A man's strength is built to be as solid as steel, yet his spirit remains as pure as gold, which is the most precious wealth given by the family

家庭不僅鑄就男人堅韌不屈的意志，更塑造他們慈悲為懷的心靈。在愛與責任的熔爐中，男人學會了如何在困難面前不屈不撓，同時保持心中的溫柔與善良。

當初剛來菲律賓，生活條件其實是很差的。
廁所是一群人共用的，坐在馬桶上，忽然就會有人進來刷牙的那種。還好當過兵，也還算可以忍受。
由於睡在大通鋪冷氣口下睡覺，接收了一套去了兩天就離開的同事棉被，好不容易在冷氣房下撐了一周才換了床位。

幸好，還有手機可以用，就靠著跟妻子通電話來獲得心情上的安定。那時上的是十二小時的班，也沒什麼機會跟孩子們通話。但只要想到以後能多賺一點錢，也就能夠繼續奮鬥了。

在這艱困的環境下，比我們更苦的菲律賓人還更多。今年聖誕節也發起了捐款的活動，我也以全家人的名義捐了一些錢。主要是因為我們在這邊賺了一點錢，也希望能回饋一點力量給社會溫暖。
男人的力量打造成像鋼鐵般堅固，心靈卻如黃金般純淨，這是家庭給予的最寶貴財富。

Behind every great man is a family that supports and inspires him.
My father always said he'd work to death to see me through college. Though he passed before I graduated, his support was why I could dream freely as a child.

My wife focuses on the details, encouraging our son and daughter to learn from daily life and constant challenges. In Manila, we rely on our children's English skills for daily communication. Without them, even shopping would be difficult.

We're now teaching the children self-discipline and control, to manage their own learning pace and daily routines while encouraging them to find joy in life.

I, too, am learning new skills and rekindling my passion for knowledge. The love, encouragement, and guidance of my family are the sources of my strength to achieve dreams. My wife supports me wholeheartedly. I remember when I was a low-paid officer and wanted to pursue CCNA certification, costing around 150,000-160,000 PHP. Despite our financial strain, she supported me. Looking back, it was worth it.

Now, after her long years of sacrifice, I hope to restore her youth and beauty. Fortunately, with technological advancements and her youthfulness, it seems possible to regain her youthful aura.

Whether facing challenges or pursuing success, my family's warmth and support are my relentless motivation. With the nourishment of family, every man dedicated to his family can discover his greatness."

This condensed version focuses on the key elements of your message, highlighting the support and motivation derived from family, the personal growth of each family member, and the aspirations and challenges faced along the way.

偉大的男人背後，總有一個支持他、鼓舞他的家庭。
我的父親經常說：就算做到死，也會讓我把大學念完。
雖然大學還沒念完，祂就走了，但是這種支持也是我小時候無憂無慮的理由，讓我自由的發散夢想。

妻子也是從小處着眼，讓女孩及男孩從日常生活中學習，及不斷挑戰。
現在在馬尼拉，妻子都是靠著孩子們的英文能力來完成日常生活中的溝通。可以說到了，沒有孩子，就沒辦法採買了。

現在，也開始要教孩子們自律及自我節制，學著掌握自己的學習進度及生活規律，鼓勵他們找尋生活中的樂趣。

我也開始學習新的技術，新的思維，重新燃起對知識的熱情。

家庭的愛、鼓勵與指導是我成就夢想的力量源泉。妻子也很盡力支持我。還記得以前當士官的薪水有夠低的時候，我說要去考CCNA，好像十五六萬披索(七萬台幣)吧，她也是左右口袋一擠，就讓我去學了。現在回頭一想，好像真值了。

當然，現在她吃苦了那麼久，我也想讓她回到過去那樣的青春與美貌。幸運的是，靠著科技的進步，加上她還年輕，總算能返回少女時代。

無論是面對挑戰還是追求成功，家庭的溫暖與支持都是我不懈努力的動力。在家庭的滋養下，每一位認真對待家庭的男性都能發現自己的偉大。

In the embrace of the family, a man learns wisdom and strength.
My wife told me that my son is very afraid of me, the reason being that I often lose my temper.
I felt very guilty, but also angry at myself. How could I let my son be as afraid of me as I was of my father when I was a child?
After waking up, I asked my son if he was really afraid of me, and he didn't speak. But encouraged by his mother, he nodded. I knew I was wrong. I think I need to grow, and fortunately, when I left for work, my son ran to hug me goodbye.

I should wisely communicate well with everyone in the family, and I thank my son for his strength.

Each conversation deepens and strengthens us, unafraid of external challenges, but I shouldn't become the center of his fear.
Let the family be the fertile ground for his growth, letting him thrive in love and support, to become a solid pillar of society.

This time, I released the shadows of my childhood and learned how to be a better husband and father.

在家庭的懷抱中，男人學會了智慧與堅強。
妻子告訴我兒子非常怕我，兒子的理由是我經常亂發脾氣。
我感到非常自責，但也覺得生氣。氣我自己怎麼讓兒子跟孩提時的我一樣怕父親了。
起床後，問了兒子是不是很怕我，他沒說話。但在妻子的鼓勵下，他點了頭。我知道我錯了。我認為我該成長我自己，還好，出門上班時，兒子跑來抱我道別。

我應該要有智慧的跟家中每個人好好溝通，也謝謝兒子的堅強。

每一次對話，都讓我們更加深邃和堅韌，不懼外部的挑戰，但不該成為他恐懼的中心。
讓家庭是他成長的沃土，讓他在愛與支持中茁壯，成為社會的堅實柱石。

這次，我釋放我小時候的陰影，學會了如何成為一名更好的丈夫、父親。

A man's honor is not innate but cultivated in a warm and upright family.
These families emphasize integrity, responsibility, and respect, and are the primary places for nurturing character. In such families, boys learn from an early age the weight of their words and actions, and the impact of their behavior.

The wife places particular importance on the character of the children and is especially intolerant of lies. Because in society, once a lie is told, trust is shattered, and no one will believe you again. The trust others have in that person will be completely lost.

When boys gain trust, they will achieve wealth and success. When girls gain trust, they will possess grace and dignity.

Trust is the honor we long to inherit and win.

男人的榮譽不是天生的，而是在溫暖且正直的家庭中培養出來的。
這些家庭重視誠信、責任和尊重，是培養品德的首要場所。在這樣的家庭中，男孩們從小就學會了言行的分量和行為的影響。

妻子對孩子的品格尤為重視，對於謊言更是無法容忍。因為，在社會上，只要說一次謊，就不會再有人相信。別人對於此人的信任，也將盪然無存。

男孩獲得信任，將會獲得財富及成功。女孩獲得信任，將富有氣質及尊貴。

信任是我們渴望傳承並贏得的榮譽。

In the strong fortress of family, men awaken their deepest courage. This courage comes from silent perseverance, gentle strength, and relentless support. It's not a courage of noise or self-praise, but a profound understanding of their role and a silent commitment to protect those they love. In moments of doubt, the family becomes a mirror to their courage, reminding the warrior within, always ready to love, serve, and protect.

在家庭這個強大的堡壘中，男人喚醒了最深沉的勇氣。這份勇氣來自於默默的堅持、溫柔的力量和不懈的支持。這不是吵鬧或自誇的勇氣，而是對自己角色的深刻理解和對所愛之人默默守護的承諾。在懷疑的時刻，家庭成為他勇氣的鏡子，提醒他內心的戰士，隨時準備愛、服務和保護。

In the family, men are the protectors, safeguarding the dreams of every member.
Women are the architects of the future blueprint, laying the foundation for those dreams.
Through every decision, every lesson, and every example, they shape the hearts and minds of the next generation. They build a foundation of love, wisdom, and courage, laying solid stepping stones for the future.

As protectors, men carry a vision for the future, guiding the family forward with stability and confidence.
As architects, women nurture the realization of dreams, strengthening team building and reliance.

在家庭中，男性是守護者，保護著每一個成員的夢想。
女性是未來藍圖的建築師，打造夢想的基石。
透過每一個決策、每一堂課題和每一個榜樣，塑造著下一代的心靈和思想。他們在愛、智慧與勇氣上建立基礎，為未來奠定堅實的踏腳石。

男人作為守護者，他們懷揣對未來的遠見，引導家庭以穩健和信心前進。
女生作為建築師，她們扶植對夢想的實現，強化團隊構建及信賴倚靠。