Heneral Kwago

For it is in loving that makes your life worth living.

May mga kwentong “work” talaga tayong sadyang makabuluhan at nagiging inspirasyon para magpatuloy ka araw-araw.

Window Seat

This time in my flight, I did not take the window seat.

I still remember my first flight experience way back 2016. That was a work related flight bound to Cebu. It was also my first time to be in the Queen City of the South.

I am with my former bosses in the flight. I told them that I am literally flying for the first time. With a kid at heart and excitement, I am flying with a seat away from the window - the most exciting and the anticipated story to be told by those who fly and ride an airplane, and the most beautiful window in life that I know!

Upon them knowing with my first flight experience, one of my bosses with no hesitation offered me her window seat, letting me to fully experience flying for the first time! I was mesmerized with the scenic views appreciating the beauty of the Philippine islands from above the sky for the first time. I can’t contain my heart not to miss any opportunity to take photos and record videos. I am very happy that moment!

For some, it was a simple experience, but for me having that experience I never dreamt of is totally memorable for a lifetime.

And now, whenever I fly with a companion, I always exchange seat with them and have them experience the window seat to let them feel what I felt and let them see the most beautiful experience of flying.

10-10-22
17:26
Air Aisia Z2 716

May we continue to live and look upon each other, most significantly, look at ourselves.

The Art of Waiting

Five months - The longest period of time I've ever gone without a job.

Rapid-fire feelings. The exhilaration of planning a decent and quality vacation after seven years of non-stop work, while also considering how long I can go without a job before going broke paying my debts and obligations.

The first two months were great. I enjoyed spending time with my family and even took a trip to the province. When I stopped working, I was able to do things that I had never done before. Visiting places on my bucket list, catching up with old friends, getting up without an alarm, and finishing months without racing to meet a deadline. I've started writing poems, playing the ukulele I acquired two years ago, and even finished an acrylic painting. I even made a daily to monthly schedule listing all the things I wanted to do, including: go to the gym; read a book; write speeches and poems; start a YouTube channel; make a blog; learn to play an instrument; watch Netflix series; and watch TED Talks. Of course, none of those occurred due to the mentality of "mamaya na, bukas nalang marami pang time." With this thought foremost in my mind, I say this since it's a luxury time and life that every working person would desire to have.

Although I have the freedom to spend my time doing the things I love, I still have to face the truth that every day I enjoy myself also means I lose out on money and possibilities. Every day, I have to perform the math to determine how long I can afford to stay in this state. After three months, I make the decision to look for work. I started creating accounts on LinkedIn, Upwork, Jobstreet, and Indeed to develop my online presence. I even joined a number of social media groups where people may post employment. With my 7+ years of expertise in the academic world and office job, I have every confidence that this will be a piece of cake for me.

I send a copy of my resume to a company where a buddy of mine works and further copies to any online job postings that I am convinced I can get and that will pay me the amount I will be negotiating. I even used my luck and fortune to invest in Tarot readings from Tarot readers on Tiktok, do some claim manifestations, and check my luck every day to determine when it will perfectly align. I started getting calls a few days after submitting my application asking for acknowledgement and an interview time. I'm thrilled.

Not till after my unsuccessful phone interview. Not before they turned down my application. Not until I get an offer that falls short of what I was hoping for. Not before they vanished with my application. Not until they told me to hold off on making a call back. Not until they declared that I would be enlisted for the following opening and subsequent offers.

In total, I submitted 7 applications, 4 of which were selected for final interviews, 2 were rejected, and 1 received no answer at all. I was in shock. I began to have self-doubt. I believed this time would be simpler to find employment right away. But it wasn't; in fact, I had to seek confirmation from my closest confidantes to whom I had poured my heart out during my devastated days. I even held myself accountable for the prior months' lack of action. I began to reflect on the "luxury days" of the past as time lost due to laziness and the "deserve ko 'tong pahinga" mentality.

What ifs began to bubble and sprout up in my head as I pondered scenarios like what if I had applied as early as the month of May or had used the days I normally spent at the beach to look for work. What would happen if I didn't rely on Tarot readings? What if I decided not to leave? And a lot of what-ifs. My once comfortable and sound sleeps gradually changed into restless nights filled with regrets, and the days became longer and longer as I watched how unproductive I was becoming with each passing day as my savings account and fund shrank. I was scared.

Dealing with the scenario is a big challenge. I started to divert myself into doing things closest to my heart. I sang and covered songs when I felt hopeless and powerless. I frequently have brief conversations with those who I know will be able to restore my sanity. I've even traveled and visited several locations. Every place I go, I also stop at the closest chapel or church to reflect, express my wishes, and pray. By developing a closer relationship with the Creator, I was able to start releasing the pressure I was placing on myself.

True enough, God knows of our plans and understands them better than we do. After a few more weeks, everything was turned upside down. My life is constantly filled with blessings. Finally, one of my applications called me to let me know that I had been selected and to provide me a date for signing a contract and accepting a job offer. The major narrative twist of the year 2022 is that, with a bonus on the side, we have been granted to move into the new house we bought a year ago.

In actuality, we are living a life that God has already planned out. It teaches us to have faith in Him and to trust the process, to fail and to learn to keep going, and to succeed and to express our gratitude and joy. Just because your dreams have been delayed does not mean that they have been denied. This is a test of patience and faith, and in this situation, we learn the art of waiting.

Ajs102922:16:26E1

May mga pagkakataon bang sukung-suko ka na at halos sumuko na rin silang lahat, pero naramdaman mong ikaw nalang ang dahilan kung bakit hindi pa sila sumusuko?

Break ka muna.

Hanggang kailan ka mabubuhay para araw-araw kang mamamatay?

Is it really the place that we missed, or the things we are doing on that place? Shot nalang natin mga ka’kwago. 🦉 🦉🦉

Ano kaya pakiramdam pag pinili ka ng pinipili mo?

Unpublished lines from a six stanza forgotten poem.