Bakit Ka Single

Why are we single? Why aren't we in a relationship? Is it a choice or we dont have an option to choose from?

I often asked myself about this question.
I have been in a relationship before. Twice actually. The first one lasted for almost two years and the other one for six years.
That six years relationship I thought he's the one. I have settled my mind that he would be my happy ending. We planned our future. We talked about it not all the time but there are times. We travelled some places. We loved each other. I felt it. Until the sixth year of the relationship. He had a new co worker. A female co worker. He always talked about her all the time. The things she wants. The series she watched. The things how she did in their workplace. Then this person contacted me and befriended me. Always sending messages to me. Sometimes I got annoyed cause she is acting like we are close already. She's younger than me,3 years by the way. I never paid attention to it at first, cause I thought we were fine. Then reality came. He became distant and quiet. He even mentioned moving out (we lived together actually). I thought he was just in a phase. He gaslighted me with things like I was being bossy. This and that. He also said he feel like he always disappoints me. He even cried saying that. Then the dad. Said he was diagnosed with some sort of cancer. I let him go cause I don't want to add up to his problems. Then someone from their company contacted me about him having an affair with this new female co worker of him. For months now. I was shocked. They even sent me pictures to prove it. I confronted him. I showed the pictures. And to my surprise this woman was married and with one kid! 😅 I was devastated. Again he gaslighted me with past mistakes. Funny cause some of then are from years behind. I was like, you felt that way but you never speak up. He was trying to blame things to me. That I made him do that. The f**k. 😅
So after clarifying things between them I just let him be. We broke up for real. Leaving the years we've been together and the promises he made. I was so heartbroken. I couldn't sleep at night in the house we lived together. I drunk myself to sleep so I won't think about him anymore. So I could sleep. 😅
Months passed. One day he contacted me. Saying he was sorry and he don't want me to hate him. Deep inside I was happy cause I thought he will be back. I will accept him for sure. 😅
We even watched a movie together. We loved that. We loved watching movies. Then after a couple of months talking again, I got a message one evening saying he is not yet ready. That he doesn't want to get back together. Like the f**k again! 😅😅😅

To be continued.....