Lamphead

to tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
First day at school
The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother asks, 'What did you learn today?'
The kid replies, 'Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.'
For the Sick
A little girl and her mother are at chuch when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.

When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up.

"Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'"
Fred wants to get married!
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you ma