Former Times Barber Co

Been a minute since I posted. Never really thought I was that good at cutting hair. Turns out I might’ve been wrong. Anyway, here’s a haircut. - Austin Jones

Today’s lineup at Former Times is the Final Destination franchise. Five movies dedicated to people surviving ridiculous accidents only for death to come back and finish the paperwork.

One thing we’ve learned this month is that everyone who walks into a barbershop apparently has an extensive background in film criticism. Nobody can remember what guard they got three weeks ago, but somehow they’ve got a detailed explanation of why a movie from 2003 was the last decent thing Hollywood ever produced.

And we’re not saying some of you have terrible taste in movies, but a few of these recommendations have us seriously questioning who raised you. Although, to be fair, Austin Jones willingly watches movies with a 2.8 on IMDb while refusing to watch The Sopranos, The Wire or Dexter. He’s somehow avoided nearly every critically acclaimed television series ever made but can recommend a low-budget horror movie filmed in somebody’s garage in 2007.

Thanks for the suggestions. Keep them coming. We’ve got a few weeks left and apparently plenty of people willing to defend some truly awful movies.

Today we’re running the Evil Dead movies from 1981 through Evil Dead Rise. Five movies, roughly eight hours, and apparently enough blood to violate several workplace regulations.

The best part of doing this has been discovering that every person who walks into a barbershop has extremely strong opinions about horror movies. Nobody can agree on politics, sports or whether $14 for a fast food meal is criminal, but tell somebody their favorite horror movie sucks and suddenly they’re defending a doctoral thesis.

Keep the suggestions coming. We’re burning through the list, and some of you clearly spent way too much of your childhood unsupervised in the horror section at Blockbuster.

New week. New movies. We’re done pretending we’re going to carefully select four different movies every day.

Today we’re starting A Nightmare on Elm Street and letting Freddy run until we close. There are enough of these damn movies to get us through most of the day anyway.

Austin survived last week’s movies made before the Obama administration, so expectations are rising.

Thanks for all the suggestions. We’ve got a ridiculous list now, so keep them coming.

Nightmare on Elm Street today. Friday the 13th is probably getting its turn soon.

Day two. Michael Myers has been given the day off before he starts asking about overtime and benefits.

Today we’ve got The Lost Boys, The Thing, Beetlejuice and The Shining. We’re also beginning the difficult process of teaching Austin Jones that movies existed before the Obama administration.

This is a significant adjustment for a man whose normal horror selection requires a $78,000 budget, three actors nobody’s heard of and a DVD cover that looks like it was designed during a lunch break.

Thanks for all the suggestions yesterday. We’ve got enough now to make some questionable programming decisions for the foreseeable future. Keep them coming. Even if you don’t schedule a haircut, come in sit down and joke with us; and talk Halloween movies.

Apparently you’re supposed to post on social media when you own a business. Our bad. We’ve been busy actually cutting hair.

But it’s October 1st, so we’re crawling back out of whatever hole we’ve been hiding in. Halloween at Former Times starts today. For the entire month of October, we’re running Halloween movies in the shop every day, and we’re starting the month properly with the Halloween franchise.

After Michael Myers has had enough screen time, we need your help. Drop a Halloween movie or franchise in the comments. Classics, horror, comedy, terrible sequels nobody asked for, whatever you’ve got. If it’s good, we’ll put it on. If it’s terrible, we’ll probably put it on anyway.

We also decorated the shop with cheap decorations.

Book for the weekend before it fills up. Formertimesbarberco.com

We’re booked. Like actually booked. Most days we’re sitting around 95% and running. But what are we doing, locking the door like it’s a private club? Nah, we’re done with that.

We ripped that “by appointment only” mentality off the door. Come in. Say what’s up. Be part of the shop again.

You still gotta sign in, we’re not running chaos. But now you’ve got a shot. Chair opens up, you’re next. No more standing outside wondering if you’re allowed in like it’s some secret society.

Worst case, you hang out for a minute and we get you lined up right. Best case, you get in. Worse case we’re booked and you have to make an appointment.

Either way, pull up.

Stop gatekeeping your barber.
Bring your people with you.

First time coming through?
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Now both of you get 25% off your next cut.

Yeah, both. Not just you.

New clients only. App bookings only. No show, no deal.
Referral rewards are sent through loyalty points after the appointment is completed.

So who’s been walking around crazy that you need to send our way? Tag them.