Platinum Ink

BREAKING NEWS | AUSTIN, TEXAS

City officials have launched a humorous "investigation" into Platinum Ink Tattoo & Body Piercing after receiving reports that the shop has been "making Austinites too good-looking" since opening in 2002.

According to the satirical allegations, Platinum Ink has spent more than two decades "poking people pretty," resulting in an unexpected side effect: thousands of people wanting to move to Austin after seeing the city's increasingly tattooed and attractive population.

"We've never seen anything like it," joked one fictional city spokesperson. "Traffic is worse, home prices are higher, and everyone keeps asking where they got their tattoos."

Investigators claim the evidence includes unusually confident residents, an abundance of compliment-worthy sleeve tattoos, and a suspicious increase in people saying, "I guess I need another tattoo."

When reached for comment, Platinum Ink reportedly responded:

"We're just guilty of doing great tattoos."

Disclaimer: This story is satire. No actual investigation exists—unless making people look awesome becomes a crime.

Come see us! Walk ins daily! 12-9 pm piercings, tattoos and cute jewelry! Flash tattoos, custom tattoos and any piercing you desire! Except that frog eyes piercing' good lord that thing is bad for your teeth. lol no you can't have that

Our Burnet Rd location is looking for a resident tattoo artist! DM to apply. 60% pay and full time available. Private room. Some supplies covered. Join our crew. Apply now.

Wow, check out this realism tattoo by located at I-35 location! DM for a quote. Or visit our website. Books open and booking for June.

🎉 Congratulations to Our Apprentice Piercing Giveaway Winners! 🎉

A huge thank you to everyone who played along and entered this round. We had a blast reading all the comments!

🏆 Winners:

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🎉 APPRENTICE NOSTRIL PIERCING GIVEAWAY 🎉

We’re doing another round of FREE nostril piercings with our apprentice at our I-35 Location!

📅 Wednesday, June 3
🕛 12 PM – 7 PM

We’re selecting 5 winners to receive a complimentary nostril piercing.

How to enter:
1️⃣ Leave a funny comment 😂
2️⃣ Share with a friend 👯

That’s it — you’re entered!

⏰ Winners will be chosen very shortly, so don’t wait to enter.

Good luck, and thanks for always supporting our apprentice program and helping future piercers gain hands-on experience under professional supervision.

📍 Platinum Ink Tattoo & Body Piercing – I-35 Location
✨ Poking People Pretty Since 2002 ✨

Some fun ones by at the I-35 location. Tag a friend that would love this!