Nutrition with Alli

Photo dump of the last several months carrying our little one ✨

One year ago today we were in St Louis meeting with Drs to prep for my surgery on May 15th.

Last Mother’s Day I was picking up surgery prep at Walgreens and was asked by the clerk if I had any kids, when I said no, she asked, “not even one?”. I remember feeling slightly embarrassed for her, I knew she had no idea what she was asking, and at the same time those words left a little sting. If only she knew.

Today, I finish up work before I take my maternity leave, and anticipate my first Mother’s Day carrying my son. I get to feel him kick and wiggle inside my belly and anticipate his near arrival!

I would have never believed we would be where we are today, and even with all the discomfort third trimester can bring, I’m praising God and thanking Him for each and every minute I’ve had carrying our baby boy.

Soon I get to see the love of my life step into the role of being daddy, and I cannot wait!

These are a few photos from my surgery this past May, with and our 6 or 8 week ultrasound. I would never have believed that almost exactly 1 year and 5 days from my surgery date, May 15th 2025 I would be due with our first child.

I will never forget the unquenching ache of what it’s like walking through infertility, the emotional turmoil year after year, and all the ways women and men labor together, through ER visits, ruptured cysts, pain that knocks you out cold, the literal contractions that endometriosis causes during your period, contractions that bring grief and dashed hopes, never full arms. It’s a labor that is not seen or recognized but all women and men who go through infertility know a uniquely painful kind of labor, whether it’s the emotional laboring or the physical, or the unfortunate combination of both.

I have never been more moved or loved watching my husband helplessly hold my body as I endured another brutal cycle, or how he cared so tenderly for me after ER visits and surgeries and cherished every new scar on my belly.

If you know someone going through infertility, the best encouragement I can give you is don’t be afraid to ask them how they are doing, how an announcement impacted them, how you can support or pray for them. What makes this journey even more painful is feeling like you have to bottle up all the hard emotions and pretend you’re okay all the time. Give your friends and family space to grieve, and enter into that with them. Validate their desires and their losses - they are real.

Hope deferred truly does make the heart sick. I am deeply aware that while joy is being given and prayers answered for some, hope is being crushed, and dreams feel shattered for others. This journey has taught me that most of life is spent holding space for both joy and sorrow at the exact same time.

✨Happy New Year✨
This New Year Feels especially sweet as we get to welcome our Miracle Baby this coming May! Each new year, even the ones we felt the most hopeless, we couldn’t help but dream of a year that brought us our child.

Part of us moving to Bend OR, was a choice to let go and move forward, but little did we know God was inviting us to hope again.

After having my second surgery for stage 3 Endometriosis by in St Louis Missouri on May 15th, we got to hold our first ever positive pregnancy test. Jake and I will treasure that moment for the rest of our lives, it felt like time itself was frozen.

After over a decade of infertility, seeing that positive test shocked us to almost complete silence. The immediate uncertainty of being able to trust this little strip telling us the news we’ve prayed and longed for but thought was lost forever.

The flash backs of all our friends and family that have wept with us over the years, and carried this heavy burden, never growing weary of it. Those who wept as they shared their good news and ached for us not being able to experience the joy of parenthood alongside them. The prayers of our church in Portland, that never gave up hope. All the women I’ve met and become sisters with through the ministry, led by who prayed faithfully, holding hope when ours felt like it was slipping away, encouraging me week after week.

All the practitioners and doctors I’ve worked with, my dear friend and now colleague Michelle, .fertility.labs, the first practitioner to tell me I didn’t need another detox, but instead felt strongly I needed another surgery by a Napro Surgeon, and told me about Dr Yeung and connected me to a Creighton charting instructor who helped me track and learn my cycle so that my Primary Napro Dr knew exactly how and when to support my hormones pre and post surgery. Their support and knowledge and training gave me confidence going into another major surgery. *Continued in the comments …..