Ohjoyousjourney

Thank you July for truly being magical 🤍✨

Morning serenity. ☀️🌿 What a beautiful morning walk, no headphones, no distractions. Listening to nature, being present, and regulating that nervous system.

This week I got to wake up and celebrate another birthday, more and more I realize what gift getting older is. This birthday was a lot to process for me. Over the last 6 months in particular, I have walked hand in hand with joy and heartache, happiness, and grief, emotional highs and emotional low’s. I have experienced feeling guilty for having feelings of happiness all while sadness and suffering was happening around me. I have carried so many complex emotions that I felt like I was constantly in a state of fog. So far this doesn’t seem like an uplifting birthday post, I know, bare with me.
The experiences of this last year has pushed me in so many ways, and I have begun to come back to myself. I have learned that you CAN hold space for joy and grief at the same time. You CAN tell God that you need people and experiences in your life to remind you of your authentic self, and to help that fog disappear. I am finally finding myself again, mentally and physically.
I have learned that self-love means honoring yourself in EACH MOMENT, whether that moment is one of immense sadness and feeling overwhelmed or one of confidence, joy, and excitement.
“The ultimate practice of self-love is perfectly balancing what you need today with what your future self needs tomorrow,” R. Nafousi.
That is where I’m at in this moment, that is what I hope to continue to do, to practice self-love and continue to be me as I am with all the highs and the lows that so come with this journey of life. At the end of the day am truly grateful for it all. So cheers to another year! 🥂🥰

Florence has my ♥️ There are hundreds of the cutest restaurants and cafe’s all over the city, and not enough time to try them all.

Impromptu weeknight date in SLC, yes please!☺️

Drove 6 hours to find the sun ☀️ saw Luke Bryan in concert 🎵 🤠 ate really, really good food 🥘 and took some selfies 😁 might do it again next weekend.

Hung out with my four little best friends for few days at Disneyland 💫💓

Loss and grief can never fully be explained to another person who has not experienced it. It’s deep and winding, with waves that hit high and low. It brings beautiful memories alive, and yet swallows you whole. Moving forward is a must, but also allowing yourself to acknowledge and feel all the feelings, whenever they hit, is necessary. I believe grief is proof that love truly exists, and loving and being loved is worth everything.
~ journal entry January 5th, 10 days after losing my dad.

Gifts…this time of year is when we think a lot about them.. what have we received, and what have we’ve given to others. I have spent the last 24 hours thinking a lot about the gifts I have received, in particular from my dad.
On Christmas Eve we found out he was called unexpectedly and suddenly to a new journey, heaven side. And as I have been processing all of this, the word “gifts” kept coming to my mind…and I realized I was receiving the comfort I needed as I recalled all the “gifts” my dad gave to me. These gifts I get to carry with me every single day. He gave me the gift of unconditional love, always, no matter what. He gave me his positive mind set, and to always look for the good in everyone. He gave me the gift of having a zest for life. He gave the gift of unconditional support, and was indeed my biggest fan.
He gave me the gift of always telling me he loved me, and was so proud of me. He gave me the gift of being the best grandpa to my kids, and always telling them how proud he was of them. He gave me the gift of being neat and tidy, my obsession with shoes, endless dad jokes, and the gift of making the best buttermilk pancakes.
Gifts are tender, they are the thing that reminds you that someone loves and cares for you. So dad, thank you for all those gifts. I am comforted in knowing that although you’re not here, you’re gifts are. So my gift to you this Christmas is share all those incredible gifts you’ve given me, and I know each time I do, you’ll be right there with me. 🤍 Merry Christmas dad, I love you.