The True Long Hauler Journey

Six Years of Long COVID

Six years


When I say those words, I still have a hard time believing them.

Six years of waking up and wondering what my body is going to do to me that day. Six years of symptoms that can change from one day to the next. Six years of trying to explain something that is often invisible to everyone looking at me from the outside.

Long COVID didn’t just make me sick.

It changed my life.

It changed the way I plan my days. It changed the things I can do without thinking about them. It changed how much energy I have, how much I can handle, and how often I have to stop and listen to my body.

Before this, I didn’t spend my life thinking about whether I would have enough energy to get through the day. I didn’t have to wonder whether something simple would leave me exhausted. I didn’t have to think about my body as something I constantly had to monitor.

Now I do.

There have been days when I’ve pushed myself because I had things that needed to be done, even when my body was screaming at me to stop. There have been days when I looked fine to everyone else but felt anything but fine inside.

That’s one of the hardest parts of an invisible illness.

People see you standing.

They don’t see everything it took to get you there.

They don’t see the exhaustion. They don’t see the fear when your body suddenly doesn’t feel right. They don’t see the nights when you’re awake wondering what tomorrow will bring. They don’t see how much courage it can take just to keep doing ordinary things.

And they don’t see the grief.

There is grief in losing pieces of the person you used to be.

I’ve had to grieve the things I could once do without thinking. I’ve had to accept that sometimes I can’t live my life at the pace I want to. I’ve had to learn that resting isn’t being lazy and that needing help doesn’t make me weak.

I’ve also had to learn patience—with my body, with myself, and with a life that didn’t turn out the way I expected it to.

Six years is a long time to be sick.

It’s a long time to keep hoping that tomorrow will be the day you finally feel like yourself again.

It’s a long time to hear people say, “You look good,” when inside you’re fighting a battle they can’t see.

But I’m still here.

That’s something I don’t want to overlook.

Long COVID has taken things from me, but it hasn’t taken my determination. It hasn’t taken the love I have for the people and animals who matter to me. It hasn’t taken my desire to live, to work, to create, to laugh, and to have a life that means something.

I’ve had to redefine what strength looks like.

Sometimes strength is pushing through.

Sometimes strength is stopping.

Sometimes strength is admitting that today is a bad day and giving myself permission to rest.

And sometimes strength is simply waking up the next morning and trying again.

I never asked for this.

I wouldn’t wish these six years on anyone.

But these six years have taught me things I never wanted to learn. They’ve taught me how fragile our health can be, how important compassion is, and how much someone can be struggling while appearing completely fine.

If you’re looking at me and thinking I don’t look sick, please understand this:

You are seeing me on the outside.

You are not seeing the six-year battle happening on the inside.

Long COVID has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to live through.

But I’m still fighting.

I’m still here.

And after six years, I refuse to let an illness convince me that my story is over.

This is not the end of my story.

It’s simply a chapter I never expected to have to write.

Chronic fatigue that I have is so bad it seems like I can’t even lift my head up. I need to be making treats because I have a fair that I’m supposed to be doing this Saturday. I don’t think I’m able to do it. I need to because I need money so I’m not broke.
This fatigue is soul crushing I can’t even make it through the day
Please pray for my health and to get better

My cardiologist had me wear a heart monitor for 7 days. I mailed it off yesterday. I know it caught palpitations, irregular heart beats and 120-140

I’m curious what he is gonna say

My blood pressure was to low so he gave me a new med to get it raised

I will be getting the Spinal Cord Stimulator out in September possibly
I went to the eye doctor today and over all my eyes sight is good

During the tests my eyes kept going black
I thought it was on the test lol
Nope it was actually my eyes

He doesn’t know what would cause it
He was stumped

The bottom of both papers is how many time I lost my vision

Well I got my times mixed up
I was supposed to be there at 8:40 and instead I got there at 9:13 and had to reschedule for next Tuesday
I’m gonna try to work tomorrow
We will see how this goes. Say a prayer for me

I wasn’t able to work just sit around all day

I woke up this morning in severe pain in my low back
I go in the morning to see if leads moved in my back from the spinal cord stimulator

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