Boss Babe Beauty

The Advice I Wish I Got After My Son Died

When my son died, I received a lot of advice. I found people do not know what to say. They default to the things they have been conditioned to say during these times. It came from many different sources, most of which had never lost a child. The advice came from good intentions, but it was hollow. Not at all what I needed in that moment.
When someone would tell me it would be OK, I was angry. They would say everything happens for a reason and I should trust God. More anger. Then there was, “Give it time. Time heals all wounds.” It doesn’t. Then there were the people that tried to facilitate a connection. Here, call Jane. She lost her son, too. I was not in a place talk to other bereaved mothers and hear all about their experience. Everything felt like pressure towards a direction someone else thought was best for me. Someone that had never stood where I was standing.
If you haven’t noticed, there is a lot of anger in grief. It is unavoidable so you should just learn to embrace it early. It makes me feel like I am going crazy. Everything made me mad. I hated their advice yet I found myself starting to wonder if I should listen. It didn’t resonate, but I was desperate. So I started judging my grief. It made me question everything I was doing and feel as if I was doing it all wrong. That made me more angry.
Then I had a breakthrough. A grief breakthrough.
I don’t recall the cause or the source, but I suddenly understood what I needed to do. It all made sense.
My epiphany? My grief is only about me. The journey I walk is my own. No one can tell me how to do it. I simply have to do whatever I feel is right in the moment for me. It is not my job to help make others feel better. I cannot be concerned for how they are doing. I know it sounds harsh and unfeeling. However, there is an “I” in grief. As there should be! It is the only way because MY son died! This was about Graden and I. No one else. The rest of the world has their own path to follow and they must figure it out on their own.
It seemed so simple. Selfish, but simple.
Since my son died, I have changed the way I talk to someone that has experienced loss. I never tell them I am sorry, that is the worst thing to say when someone dies. I am no longer afraid to say, “That really sucks!” It does. Then I tell them I am thinking about them and sending love and prayers, I really am. Prayer and Love is all that matters. If I feel the urge to share advice, I simply tell them their grief is unique to them. They have to do whatever is right for them and not compare themselves to anyone else. Don’t worry about what anyone else tells you. Just follow your heart and listen to the lord.
This advice would have saved me so much agony.

Good morning
Well our boy is back on bypap he was obstructing while sleeping so they had to put him back on bypap. High flow wasn’t enough. Heavenly father please help our boy breathe and his lungs heal. I was hoping to get out of ICU and to a regular room but he still needs the support m. Continued prayers please.

One of my favorites at the wedding! Prayer over our marriage. I love you baby so much! Kevin Worrell

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We also have my Apple Watch Series 7 for sale paid 800.00 New but I am selling for 225.00. Reasonable offers I will consider. I really appreciate anyone looking. It’s been a really rough time the last two or three months and any help would be greatly appreciated. We love you all and God bless you.

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Shop my link to get any Younique products and check out the February Special I’ll be going live tomorrow with a Gorgeous eye look using the Shadow pallet in the special see y’all tomorrow!!!

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Today’s Live look! Have a Blessed Sunday! Thank y’all for joining me today on my 1st live!!!

Going live in a bit, it’s be today and I’m running late lol. See y’all soon

Good Morning my loves!! Happy Saturday!Simple look for everyday!!!
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