Massage by Deja

TikTok · Bryant Bee

www.massagebydeja.com

The Side of Massage Therapy You Never See

Can we talk about something that almost nobody outside this profession ever sees? Because I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t happen.

Every few months, my phone rings or I get a message from someone who found my business online. At first it sounds like a completely normal inquiry. They’re looking for a massage. They’re visiting Arizona. They’re staying in a hotel. They’re asking about availability. Then, almost like clockwork, the conversation shifts. The questions stop making sense. Suddenly they’re asking about services I don’t advertise—wet treatments, shower treatments, or other things that have absolutely nothing to do with a licensed mobile massage therapist who shows up at your home with a folding massage table. Sometimes even code words or phrases that tell what they are really looking for. The second I explain that I’m a licensed professional providing therapeutic care, the conversation usually ends.

If you’re not a massage therapist, you probably think, “Maybe they were just curious.” Maybe. But after 17 years in this profession, I’ve learned that sometimes people don’t come right out and ask for what they want. They test the waters. They see how you’ll respond. They ask vague questions. They push one tiny boundary at a time because they’re hoping they’ll eventually find someone willing to cross a professional line.

The public doesn’t see that part. They see candles, relaxing music, lotion, and warm blankets. They don’t see the therapist reading a message and immediately getting that knot in their stomach because they’ve seen this pattern before.

And here’s what I need people to understand: this isn’t a one-time thing. This isn’t some crazy story from years ago. This happens to me about every three months, someone reaches out—not because they respect my education or my profession, but because they think there’s a chance I’ll sell my dignity if they ask the right question.

That isn’t part of my job. That isn’t something I signed up for.

And unfortunately, it doesn’t always stop at phone calls.

Over the years I’ve had clients expose themselves. I’ve stripped my treatment table only to discover semen or other body fluids left behind on my linens. I’ve had people intentionally shift the linens during session after I had properly draped them. I’ve been propositioned. I’ve had inappropriate comments whispered while I was simply trying to do my job. I’ve had to end sessions because someone’s behavior crossed a line.

I wish I could tell you those were isolated incidents. They weren’t.

The overwhelming majority of those experiences have involved men, but not exclusively. I’ve also had women cross professional boundaries. This isn’t about one gender. It’s about people who decide that the person standing beside the massage table isn’t a healthcare professional deserving of respect—they’re someone whose boundaries can be ignored.

And here’s where I get really angry. Not because someone embarrassed me or made me uncomfortable, but because every time someone does this, they reinforce one of the biggest problems our profession has been fighting for decades.

Massage therapy is healthcare. It’s pain management. It’s rehabilitation. It’s stress relief. It’s compassionate, ethical, professional care.

Yet all across America, law enforcement continues to uncover illicit businesses using the word “massage” as a cover for prostitution and, in some cases, human trafficking. Anti-trafficking organizations have documented thousands of suspected illicit massage businesses operating across the country. Those businesses exploit vulnerable people, and they also damage the reputation of every legitimate therapist trying to earn a living honestly.

Then the headlines come out: “Massage parlor busted.” “Human trafficking investigation.” “Prostitution ring.”

The public sees the word massage. They don’t always see the difference. So the rest of us spend our careers trying to undo the damage.

People wonder why I don’t accept same-day appointments anymore. Why I require online booking. Why I screen inquiries. Why I trust my gut. Why I have policies.

This is why.

Those policies weren’t created because I wanted to make booking harder. They were created because I learned that my safety matters too.

There’s another layer to this that most people don’t know.

I’m a survivor of sexual assault. In a few days, another anniversary will come around that changed my life forever. Every July my nervous system remembers before my calendar does. Fireworks start going off. My body gets tense. My chest gets tight. I become more aware of my surroundings. I don’t choose that. Trauma has a way of keeping its own calendar.

So when someone contacts my business looking for something sexual during this time of year, it doesn’t just annoy me. It lands on an old wound. The person sending the message doesn’t know my story. They don’t know what I’ve survived. They don’t know what they’re stirring up.

But that’s exactly the point.

You almost never know what another human being has lived through. That’s why respect should never be optional.

I know some people are going to read this and think, “It’s just a joke.” It isn’t. I know some people are going to think, “Just ignore it.” Most of the time I do. I’ve ignored it for years. I’ve quietly blocked numbers, deleted messages, changed policies, and carried on with my day.

But staying quiet hasn’t made it stop.

Maybe the reason so many people have no idea this happens is because so many massage therapists have felt like they had to suffer through it in silence.

I’m done being silent.

Not because I want attention. Not because I hate people. Not because I think every client is dangerous.

The truth is, the vast majority of my clients are incredible human beings. They trust me with their pain, their injuries, their stories, and their healing. I’m grateful for every single one of them.

I’m speaking up because I want the public to understand what licensed massage therapists are carrying that you never see. We’re not just carrying a massage table. We’re carrying years of experience. We’re carrying responsibility. We’re carrying trust. Sometimes we’re carrying fear. And some of us are carrying trauma, too.

So if you’ve ever wondered why your massage therapist has boundaries, policies, screening procedures, or says no without apologizing, understand that those boundaries were almost certainly written because of experiences like these.

To my fellow therapists: I see you. If you’ve experienced this too, you shouldn’t have had to. You deserve to feel safe at work.

To my clients who have always treated me with kindness and respect: thank you. You are the reason I still love what I do.

And to anyone contacting a licensed massage therapist hoping they’ll provide something sexual, don’t. Not because you’re going to offend us, but because you’re asking a healthcare professional to compromise their ethics, their safety, and their dignity.

You don’t know who they are. You don’t know what they’ve survived. You don’t know what your message might awaken in them.

Respect the profession.

Respect the person behind it.

And if what you’re looking for isn’t listed on my website, keep scrolling.

I’m not the therapist you’re looking for.

I need a hundred followers to go live

Hold someone you love today. Oxytocin is a really powerful antidepressant cortisol killer. It can reduce inflammation high blood pressure, increase your immune & help with sleep deprivation