FADED_Cuts for Men

There is this moment in parenting when the magic of Christmas changes. It’s kind of this nostalgic letting go, this “where did the time go?” moment. I think it’s when the kids reach those double digits and they’re teens and the list now contains items that would be the entire gift amount.

It’s not the magic completely leaves, it just changes the focus. They still want the cookies, but not so much for Santa, but because they like the cookies. They still want the tree, the decorations but aren’t as giddy about the ornaments or the lights. They give you lists but not letters to Santa. And the ornaments no longer crowd the bottom of the tree - these are the years where I find myself saying, “don’t forget the bottom...” because they’re so tall.

It could feel like it’s lost the magic.

But then I catch them.

Looking at the tree or flipping the numbers on the countdown calendar or making sure the outside lights are on or asking if we’re going to draw names for a Secret Santa drawing or watching Elf or Christmas Vacation or asking to donate toys or putting on Christmas music or asking about family coming or if I can take them to the store and in those moments I realize - it still matters.

It’s kind of hard to let go of the little kid magic.

But when I step back, when I see the world with my olders it’s a new kind of magic.

It’s this space of moving from kid to adult and carrying with them the magic.

They are the next generation of magic creators.

Seeing what matters.

Just the idea that they know which movies they love or they have stories about the ornaments or know how to cut out snowflakes or that the gingerbread cookies my grandma made are the favorites - that’s from the years of magic before.

Because someday they’ll be on their own. And these middle years will have mattered just as much. And chances are, as the years pass and time keeps moving, I’ll get a call or a text asking for a recipe that they loved. They’ll want to share their favorite movies or put the ornaments on my tree up on theirs.

That’s the real magic.

It’s in the passing down, the movement of the magic of the holidays from generation to generation.

So if you’re in the years where they don’t seem to care as much - have hope - see the glimpses of how much it matters. Keep the traditions going, keep the faith.

They’re becoming the new generation of magic bringers.

It does matter.

From a mom who was asked to make those cookies she’s always made who made them because her mom made them because her mom made them.

Magic.

-Rachel


Pic - they still love Home Alone even though the can reach the top of the tree…

Oh and yes we are in the years trying to “schedule” a time to decorate the try because they’re all so busy or don’t really care that much.

I was cleaning underneath my baseboard heater last night in our family room (hot Friday night, I know!!) and I found this gem.

If you don’t recognize it, it’s a wooden piece from a Melissa and Doug pizza set. My kids were Melissa and Doug groupies- or perhaps I was! We had every single set out there from the pizza to the ice cream to the cookies to the sushi- plus all the puzzles, the dress up magnet doll set, the shoe lacing- you name it, I got it- and usually for 40% off at AC Moore with that magical coupon.

On an evening when my daughter is 7 hours away, navigating college and life and a truly bad case of the flu on her own, and my 16 year old was off living his best life nighttime snowboarding and my husband was upstairs painting our 11 year olds room- more specifically , painting OVER the tree that he hand painted as part of his nursery before he was born…our “baby” finally asked to update his bedroom and although I 10000% understand, it still stabbed me right in the heart because that’s it. He’s the last one, from here on out, it’s all college and nights out with friends and posters of favorite quarterbacks and racks of baseball hats instead of a garland of handmade crocheted owls and Bible verses about sweet babies.

But that’s life, right my friends? We grow them, we snuggle them, we hold them close and then little by little…we let them go. If we do it right, they come back- maybe not always physically but emotionally your babies will always be your babies…no matter their age, their distance or how busy they may seem. No matter what, you are their mama and they will need you and you will need them til the end of time…that’s the beautiful rollercoaster of it all…this mom gig is a lifetime position and we wouldn’t want it any other way- Even if no one else understands why you’re crying over a wooden piece of Velcro pepperoni. 🥹

Here's to the parents managing the schedules of multiple athletes.

To the ones navigating the guilt of being present at one game, but wishing you could also be on the sidelines of the other.

To the ones cheering on your child at one gym, and hoping you don't miss a play while you peak down at your phone to check the update from the other one.

To the ones knowing exactly what minute you could leave one event so you could make it in time to see a portion of the other, while carrying the guilt that your child made a big play the minute you left.

To the ones wondering if your kids know that you would be everywhere if you could, while you're putting in every ounce of effort you have to try.

To the ones splitting time ... but never splitting up your support for each of them.

I know it can all seem impossible to manage.
And most times it feels like you're not doing enough.

But even if they don't say it now, your kids will look back and remember that you did everything you could to support them ... even if it meant from afar.

They're lucky to have you.

—

For more sports-parenting conversations, follow—> The Top Bleacher

Things I want my son to know about friendship:

1. You have to be brave enough to stick up for them when they’re not around. Don’t let others talk badly about your friend. Don’t let them rag on him when he’s not in the room to defend himself. It doesn’t have to be some huge thing, but a simple “hey guys, that’s really not cool” is enough. Do your best to make the conversation stop. Loyalty matters.

2. The most impressive trait a person can have isn’t being able to catch a football, hit a home room or dribble a basketball. Integrity trumps athletic ability all day every day. Care more about being friends with someone because of who they are than about being friends with someone because of what they can do on a field.

3. Please do not strive to be popular. I’m telling you, that’s just not it. Sitting at the right table, doing whatever you have to do to be part of the “cool” crowd, placing your worth in the table you sit at in the cafeteria—it just isn’t the most important thing. Find a friend or two who are good to you and good to be around and let that be enough.

4. Don’t trade in someone who has had your back for a long time for someone who is flashier. Don’t trade in someone who has always accepted you for someone who wants you right now. They’re people, not objects and you can’t use them like that. If you ditch them for someone better, don’t be surprised when you lose them. The real ones don’t come cheap.

5. Notice who is choosing you and choose them back. Notice who is including you and include them back. Notice who is reaching out to you and reach back out to them. You can’t expect to receive what you aren’t willing to give.

6. Put your phone down. When you’re with your friends, be with your friends. Don’t be scrolling. Don’t be answering other texts. Don’t be calling other people (unless it’s me). It’s honestly rude and it shows people that they are less important to you than that stupid little electronic device.

7. Everyone is annoying sometimes. That’s just life, so give people a break. You’re annoying sometimes too. If they have a good heart, let the little stupid go.
8. Show up when it matters.

9. Be good to their parents. Be respectful when you’re in their house. Engage in conversations. Look them in the eyes. Have good manners. Clean up your mess. Be grateful if they take you somewhere, feed you, or allow you into their home. It just shows who you are as a person.

10. Know who you are. And know your worth isn’t in whether or not they like you, whether or not they invite you, or in how they treat you. That stuff shows so much about them and so little about you. Your job is be in charge of you, so walk confidently and with your head up. They do not determine your worth.

11. Please remember I’m not dumb and I’m a safe place to talk things out with. I don’t have perfect advice, but I’ve been around long enough to have good advice, and nobody has your best interest in mind like I do. You can always trust me. I will always be here.

12. Watch that mouth. Once your words are out—they’re out. You can’t swallow them, you can’t hide them, you can’t take them back. You can apologize, but there is some damage that can’t be undone. Controlling your tongue is one of the hardest, but most important things you will ever learn to do.

13. It’s not funny if everyone isn’t laughing and it’s not a prank if it goes too far. Some things are just mean.

14. People remember. They remember how you make them feel. They remember when they’re torn down. They remember when they’re built up. They remember when they’re teased and they remember when someone stands up for them. Please don’t ever be the reason someone feels bad about themselves, wants to quit the team or hangs their head low.

15. It matters who you surround yourself with. You’ll talk how they talk. You’ll walk how they walk. You’ll treat others how they treat others and their attitude will become your attitude. Be really careful with who you let into your circle, because they will shape you. I’ve seen some good kids make some bad decisions because of who was around them. It’s fine to remove yourself.

16. It’s okay to cry. Boys have feelings too.

17. You will make mistakes. You’ll hurt friends you care about. You’ll say something that goes too far. You’ll trust people you shouldn’t trust and you’ll do things you shouldn’t do. It’s all part of being human and it’s okay. What’s not okay is not taking ownership when you mess up. Own it. Apologize. Don’t let those mistakes define you, but do your best to fix what you can and then learn going forward.

18. If you don’t want to eat it, don’t serve it. Don’t say things you don’t want said back to you. Don’t start something you don’t want to come back at you. If you can’t handle it, whatever it is, don’t hurl it in someone else’s direction.

19. I really don’t care what everyone else is doing, I want you to do what’s right. I want you to make smart choices. Actions have consequences and repercussions and it feels like people have just totally forgotten that. They’re too entitled to even think they’ve caused any harm, but I’m not raising you to be that way. If you need to remove yourself from something that is wrong—remove yourself. If you need to remove yourself from something that is dangerous—remove yourself. If you need to remove yourself from something that just doesn’t feel right—remove yourself. Again, you can always come to me.

20. I can’t always do it for you. I can’t always fix it for you. I can’t bulldoze everything so it’s nice and smooth and easy for you. I can’t (and I won’t) always swoop in and save the day for you, or constantly be sparing you from the consequences of your actions. Not because I don’t love you, but because I love you so incredibly much that I want you to learn and grow as a human, and you won’t learn if I’m getting in the way, but I’ll always be here for you. I will be your safe space and your sounding board. I fully believe in you.

Love,
Mom

You're welcome😆

And then one day you find yourself
looking up at him…

But it’s not the six-foot-something frame that strikes you.

It’s not the unkempt hair

Or chiseled jaw.

It’s not the broad shoulders

Or the unimaginable span of his arms.

It’s not the towering being

that crushes you.

It’s the eyes

Those star-strewn eyes

that just yesterday were blinking up
into yours.

Those eyes that once only looked to you for guidance.

Those eyes with more questions than you had answers for.

Those eyes that lit up your world.

Those eyes that now tell you.

You’ve lit the way for them too

Nothing can prepare you for the day

When you’re not longer looking down

into soft gaze of your baby boy

But you get to look up to

an amazing young man ♥️

Words by Raise Her Wild with Mehr Lee
Photo by Bloom Photo By Leigh

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Just wanted to update y’all real quick

I sure miss you guys but I’m loving bein home with my babies.
We have visited family, lot of park visits, and time at home watching them grow.
(Lots of time to drive me crazy too🤡)