Ms SJ Morningstar

I've been absent and I apologize. I've been wrapped up over here in getting my heart ripped out of my chest repeatedly. It has been very distracting.

I’m kicking my own a$s for this!! 😭🤣 Who decided it was a good idea to talk herself into renting an apartment all on her own A WEEK BEFORE RENT IS DUE?! Laaawd… That’d be me, huh?? It’s cool, it’s cool. Nobody panic… 🫠🥴🤯😮‍💨😭🤣

The past two years I have been homeless, sleeping my car, at work, or bouncing from hotel to hotel, staying at friends houses and struggling like a mother f*cker. I lost every thing I owned, including 3 cars and a bike, and honestly had no idea how I was ever going to recover. Today, I officially have my own 2 bedroom apartment, a bike in the driveway, and am saving for a car as we speak... And I did all this s**t ALL on my own and with a smile on my face so big no one even knew what I was going through. I haven't been able to say this in a long time, but today I am SO proud of myself. Rebirth is the hardest to go through, but stepping back into my own power, stronger than I have ever been, feels so damn good.

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Had dinner plans with Calista and Camren last night to celebrate Cam’s official IEP Release, and I was super happy when they pulled up and Marshall was also in the car. Getting to sit down with them to talk, laugh, and hear about everything they’ve got going on in life and just being able to sit back and see how happy they are and how well they are killing this game of life gave me the best feeling I’ve had in a long time. No matter what I’m going through and how tough it is, they will always be the keys to MY happiness. I am so fu***ng proud of all of them. And it feels damn good to be able to look at them and know that I did that, and THAT can never be taken away from me. That will always and forever be enough.🩶

Ew. But go off.
🤢🥴😭🤣

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I really think I'm going to be single for the duration of this life time... Lmao I always manage to f**k something up and portray myself as having an attribute that I really don't... Even when I try so hard to be authentically me. Whhhyyy am I like this?! It's only ever when I actually am into someone, too. Idfk. Send help.

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