Take it Easy Momma

Happy Father’s Day yo wonderful Dads 💙

Let me guess. You picked up this book because you love your family desperately, but somewhere between the third load of laundry and the second round of bedtime negotiations, you forgot what you feel like. You’ve been running on empty for so long that you can’t remember the last time you did something just because it made you happy.

I see you. I am you. And Rebecca Eanes? She sees us both.

The Gift of a Happy Mother is not another “how to get your kids to behave” manual. It’s not a list of chores disguised as self-care. It’s something far more radical: an invitation to believe that your happiness matters—not as a bonus, but as a foundation.

The myth this book shatters

We’ve all bought into the lie that a good mother is a self-sacrificing mother. That if we take time for ourselves, we’re being selfish. That our children’s needs should always come first, even if it means we crumble.

Eanes gently, lovingly, and firmly says: That’s backwards.

She shows—with research, stories, and that warm, you-can-do-this voice we all crave—that a depleted mother cannot pour into her children. A resentful mother cannot create a peaceful home. But a happy mother? She gives the gift of her presence, not just her performance.

The most relatable moment

There’s a passage where Eanes talks about losing her temper with her son, then collapsing into guilt afterward. Sound familiar? She doesn’t preach. She doesn’t shame. She just says: “I realized I was asking my child to regulate emotions I wasn’t regulating myself.”

Oof. Right in the gut.

That’s when the book stopped being “advice” and started being a mirror. She doesn’t tell you to be perfect. She tells you to be real. To apologize when you mess up. And then—this is the hard part—to actually fill your own cup so you have something left to give.

Practical, not preachy

This isn’t fluff. Eanes gives concrete, small-step ideas for nurturing yourself without a two-week vacation or a full-time nanny. Things like:

The “five-minute reset” when you feel the rage rising.

How to ask for help without guilt (revolutionary, I know).

The power of saying “I need a moment” and actually taking it.

She also tackles the big stuff: mom guilt, perfectionism, comparison culture, and the exhaustion of trying to be everything to everyone. And she does it with the tenderness of a friend who’s been there—because she has.

Why this book feels like a hug

Because Eanes never makes you feel broken. She makes you feel seen. She doesn’t say “fix yourself.” She says “come back to yourself.” There’s a difference.

By the time I finished, I had tears in my eyes—not because the book was sad, but because someone finally gave me permission to stop trying so hard to be the “perfect mother” and start trying to be a happy one. And those two things, it turns out, are not the same.

Who needs this book?

The mom who feels guilty every time she takes a shower alone.

The mom who snaps at her kids and then hates herself for it.

The mom who can’t remember the last thing she did for fun.

The mom who is exhausted, not just in her body, but in her soul.

If that’s you, please read this book. Not because you need one more thing on your to-do list. But because you deserve to feel joy again—and your family deserves to see you smile without it being forced.

Final thought

The Gift of a Happy Mother isn’t really a gift to your family. It’s a gift for you, that then overflows to everyone you love. And that, right there, is the most generous thing you can do.

The 80/20 Principle: Achieve More with Less by Richard Koch explores the idea that 80% of results come from just 20% of efforts, a concept known as the Pareto Principle.

The book argues that in business, work, relationships, and everyday life, a small number of actions often produce the majority of outcomes. By identifying and focusing on these high-impact activities, people can achieve greater success, productivity, happiness, and wealth while expending less time and energy.

Koch provides practical examples and strategies for:

* Increasing productivity by focusing on what matters most.
* Eliminating low-value tasks.
* Improving business performance and profitability.
* Making better decisions about time, relationships, and personal goals.
* Living a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Key Takeaway

Not all efforts are equal. Focus on the vital few activities that produce the greatest results, and let go of the trivial many.

Short Review

“The 80/20 Principle is a thought-provoking guide that challenges the belief that success requires constant hard work. Instead, it teaches readers how to work smarter, prioritize effectively, and achieve more with less effort.” 📖✨

A strong marriage isn’t built in a day—it’s built through love, patience, forgiveness, and choosing each other every single day. ❤️

💤 Wake windows for babies 👶

A Gentle, Devastating Mirror That Finally Lets You Hug the Little You

I picked up Alice Miller’s The Drama of the Gifted Child with a fair amount of hesitation. The title sounds intense almost clinical. But within the first few pages, I stopped reading and just sat in silence. For the first time in my adult life, someone had described the "secret" I didn’t even know I was keeping.

This book is not about prodigies or child stars. The "gifted child" Miller writes about is you. It’s the sensitive, observant child who learned very early to read a parent’s mood, to suppress a tantrum, to smile when they wanted to cry, and to be the "little adult" of the house. The child who was praised for being "so mature" or "no trouble at all."

Miller’s core message is heartbreakingly simple yet revolutionary: We often lose ourselves to be loved.

She explains that when our parents (or caregivers) cannot meet our emotional needs when they are fragile, depressed, or narcissistic we don’t get angry. We can’t. They are our whole world. So, we do something incredibly creative and tragic: we build a "false self." A self that is cheerful, accomplished, and quiet. A self that earns love by performing.

And that performance works. For decades.

Reading this felt like someone finally unlocked the door to my own childhood. I realized why I feel like a fraud when I receive a compliment. Why I have a constant, low-humming anxiety that I’m not doing enough. Why "relaxing" feels like a waste of time. I was still trying to earn a love I didn’t have to earn in the first place.

But here is the heart-warming part and it is heart-warming, I promise.

Miller doesn’t leave you in the wreckage. She hands you a shovel and says, "Now we dig out." The warmth comes from the radical permission she gives you to grieve. To finally feel the anger and sadness you weren’t allowed to feel at four years old. To realize that the depression or emptiness you’ve carried wasn't a personal failing it was an unspoken loyalty to your past.

The most healing sentence in the book for me was this: "The true opposite of depression is not gaiety, but vitality the freedom to experience spontaneous feelings."

That’s the gift. The "drama" ends when you stop trying to be the "good" child for your parents and start being a real, messy, glorious adult for yourself. Miller gives you permission to disappoint others in order to be honest with yourself.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re running on a hamster wheel of achievement, or that you’re "too much" or "not enough," or that you’re simply acting your way through life please read this book. It will hurt. It will bring tears. But they will be the good tears. The kind that wash away an old, tired script and finally let you say to the little person you used to be: "You don’t have to perform for me. I’ve got you now."

That is the true drama and the true healing. Highly, highly recommended.

June activities 🛝

My mom is healthy. She's fine. And still, this book wrecked me.

I saw it on a shelf at a gift shop—What to Do When I'm Gone—and I almost kept walking. The title felt like a dare. But something made me pick it up. I flipped to a random page. And I started crying right there in the store.

This is not a sad book, exactly. It's a real book. A mother-daughter conversation about the one thing none of us want to talk about: what happens when she's not here anymore.

What This Book Is

Suzy Hopkins wrote this for her adult daughter, Hallie Bateman (who also drew the gorgeous, funny, heartbreaking illustrations). After Suzy was diagnosed with cancer, she started writing down everything she wanted Hallie to know—from the practical to the absurd to the deeply loving.

The result is part instruction manual, part love letter, part permission slip. There are recipes (how to make her mom's famous pancakes). There are reminders ("Don't stay in a job you hate just because it has good benefits"). There are gentle scoldings ("For God's sake, go to the dentist"). And there are moments of raw, beautiful tenderness that made me put the book down and just breathe.

The Page That Broke Me

Page after page, I found myself laughing and sobbing in the same minute. But the one that destroyed me was this: Suzy writes instructions for how Hallie should grieve. She says: "You get one year. One year to be sad, to eat junk food, to cancel plans, to wear pajamas all day. Then you have to start living again. For me. And for you."

I thought about my own mom. About how she would want me to be sad—but not forever. About how the best way to honor someone who loved you is to keep loving your own life.

What Makes This Book Special

Most books about loss are either too clinical or too sentimental. Suzy Hopkins nails the in-between. She's hilarious ("Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. Except me. I'm your mom.") She's practical ("Here's how to split my jewelry without a fight"). She's honest ("You're going to be angry at me for dying. That's okay. I'd be angry too.").

And Hallie's illustrations—simple, black-and-white, almost childlike—make every page feel like you're reading a secret diary. You can feel the love between them. The inside jokes. The shared history.

Who Should Read This

Anyone who still has their mom and wants to appreciate her more

Anyone who has lost their mom and needs to feel less alone

Anyone who wants to laugh and cry in the same paragraph

Anyone who needs permission to talk about death without fear

The Verdict

I finished this book and immediately called my mom. Not to say anything profound. Just to hear her voice. To tell her I love her. To ask her to teach me her pancake recipe.

What to Do When I'm Gone is a gift. Not because it solves grief—nothing can. But because it reminds us that the people we love never really leave. They live in the recipes, the jokes, the instructions, and the quiet moments we remember to hold onto.

Dear God,

While my babies sleep peacefully tonight, wrap them in Your arms of protection. Keep them safe from harm, fill their hearts with peace, and let them always wake up surrounded by love. 🙏💙✨

God, please watch over my children while they sleep. Protect their little hearts, calm their dreams, and bless them with a beautiful tomorrow. 🌙🤍

As I watch my children sleep, I whisper a prayer: Lord, protect them, guide them, and keep them safe always. 🙏✨

My biggest prayer every night: ‘God, please protect my kids while they are sleeping. 🥺💖🌙

Amen 🙏

A lot of people don't actually hate work itself - they hate what work slowly turns them into. Exhausted. Disconnected. Constantly anxious. Performing competence while quietly running on empty.
Modern work culture often rewards overwork, emotional suppression, and nonstop availability, then acts surprised when people burn out or lose motivation. How to Make Work Not Suck approaches work from a refreshingly human angle. Instead of offering shallow productivity hacks, Carina Maggar explores how people can build healthier, more emotionally sustainable relationships with work without losing ambition or purpose.

Here are 7 valuable lessons from the book:
1. Work Should Support Your Life - Not Consume It.
One of the book's strongest ideas is that many people unconsciously organize their entire identity around work.
Productivity becomes self-worth, and rest begins to feel undeserved.
The problem is that when work becomes the center of identity, emotional balance becomes fragile. A bad day at work starts feeling like a bad reflection of you.
The book encourages separating your humanity from your output.
Your value is bigger than your performance.

2. Burnout Often Starts Long Before Exhaustion.
Burnout is not just physical tiredness. It often begins quietly - emotional numbness, irritability, cynicism, loss of motivation, difficulty caring about things that once mattered
HONEST
PEOPLE
The book highlights how people normalize early warning signs because modern culture praises "pushing through." But ignored stress compounds over time until functioning itself becomes difficult.
Burnout is usually accumulated slowly, not suddenly.

3. Boundaries Are Necessary for Sustainable Success.
Many people think boundaries make them look lazy, difficult, or uncommitted. But the book reframes boundaries as a form of long-term self-protection.
Without boundaries, work expands endlessly into personal time, emotional energy, and mental space. Eventually, people stop feeling like they ever truly "leave" work, even when they are home.
Healthy boundaries allow ambition to remain sustainable instead of destructive.

4. Emotional Honesty Reduces Workplace Suffering.
A recurring theme in the book is how much emotional energy people spend pretending they are fine. They hide stress, suppress frustration, and perform positivity because vulnerability feels risky in professional environments.
But emotional suppression often increases internal pressure. The book encourages healthier communication, self-awareness, and emotional honesty instead of constant performance.
Pretending not to struggle does not prevent struggle - it only isolates it.

5. Productivity Without Meaning Eventually Feels Empty.
The book questions the obsession with constant efficiency and optimization. People can become incredibly productive while simultaneously feeling emotionally disconnected from what they are doing.
Achievement alone does not automatically create fulfillment.
Humans need meaning, connection, creativity, and purpose alongside productivity.
Without those things, work starts feeling mechanical no matter how successful someone appears externally.

6. Comparison Quietly Destroys Workplace Confidence.
Modern work culture constantly exposes people to others' achievements, promotions, skills, and milestones. The book highlights how easy it becomes to measure your progress against curated versions of other people's lives.
HONEST PEOPLE
ADVICE
WITH JOBS
This creates chronic inadequacy, even among capable people.
The book reminds readers that career growth is rarely linear, and comparison often blinds people to their own progress and strengths.

7. Rest Is Part of Performance, Not the Opposite of It.
One of the book's most important lessons is that rest is not laziness.
Rest restores creativity, emotional regulation, focus, and resilience.
People often treat rest like a reward they must earn after exhaustion, but the book argues that recovery should be built into life consistently, not delayed until collapse.
Sustainable success requires recovery just as much as effort.

Final Reflection:
What makes How to Make Work Not Suck feel so relatable is that it understands something many workplace conversations ignore:

people are not machines pretending to be human.
They are humans constantly being pressured to function like machines.

The book ultimately encourages a healthier relationship with work - one where ambition and wellbeing are not enemies, and where success is measured not only by achievement, but by whether you still feel emotionally alive while pursuing it.