Brain Dame

With The Power of Thoughts and Imaginations – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉

Ever walk into the kitchen to clean… and somehow end up upstairs organizing a junk drawer?

Just me? 😂

Here’s how my day usually goes:

✔️ Decide to clean the kitchen.
✔️ Open the pantry to put something away.
✔️ Realize the pantry is a disaster.
✔️ Spend an hour organizing the pantry.
✔️ Go upstairs looking for storage bins.
✔️ Notice the pool table has become the family “museum of random stuff.”
✔️ Start cleaning that.
✔️ Remember I forgot to eat lunch.
✔️ Find my vitamins… then forget to take them.
✔️ By dinner, I’ve been busy ALL day…

…and somehow the kitchen is even messier than when I started. 🤦🏼‍♀️

For years, I thought this meant I was lazy or undisciplined.

Now I know better.

Many survivors grow up with brains that were trained to survive, not to slow down and care for themselves. We become experts at solving problems, anticipating needs, and taking care of everyone else, while forgetting our own.

So today, instead of asking,

“What’s wrong with me?”

Try asking,

“How can I love the person God entrusted to my care… me?”

Maybe that love looks like taking your vitamins.

Eating before you’re starving.

Going for a walk.

Drinking another glass of water.

Or simply laughing at yourself instead of shaming yourself.

Healing doesn’t usually arrive in one giant leap.

It often begins with one small act of kindness toward the person in the mirror.


The Brain Dame💕

P.S.
I’d love to hear your funny survivor-brain story!

How I Turned a Detox Bath into a Five-Alarm Fire 🔥🛁

After five weeks away from home helping both of my daughters welcome their new babies into the world, I was finally back in my own bathroom.

To say it had been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement.

There were newborn snuggles, sleepless nights, joyful moments… and then our precious grandson, Mighty Matthew, fighting for his life in the NICU. My heart had been stretched in every direction imaginable.

I was ready.

Ready to exhale.
Ready to let go.
Ready to settle my body, quiet my mind, and reconnect with God.

So I did what any self-respecting Neuro Coach would do.

I drew myself a detox bath. Then I turned on a beautiful sermon about the verse:

“Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

Perfect.

The bath recipe called for lavender essential oil. I couldn’t find it. No problem, I thought.

Wintergreen smells invigorating! That’ll help me get motivated for the day.

Friends…

This was not my finest moment.

Within minutes my legs and bottom felt like they had been introduced to molten lava. 🔥

The peaceful music continued playing.

“Be still…”

Trust me…I was still.

Not because I had reached a deep state of meditation.

Because moving HURT!

I finally escaped the tub looking like a boiled lobster with legs on fire, frantically searching for aloe vera while wondering if I’d accidentally invented a new form of self-inflicted torture.

Thankfully, the aloe won.

Wintergreen lost.

But as I sat there laughing at myself, something deeper dawned on me.

This is exactly how many trauma survivors approach healing.

We desperately want peace.

So we work harder.

Research more.

Read another book.

Listen to another podcast.

Take another course.

Try another technique.

Push ourselves just a little further…

Because somewhere along the way we learned that healing comes through striving.

But what if it doesn’t?

What if healing isn’t another mountain to climb?

What if it begins when we finally stop trying to earn our rest?

The irony wasn’t lost on me.

While I was literally listening to a sermon telling me to be still, I had unknowingly chosen the one ingredient that set my nervous system on high alert.

Sound familiar?

Many of us have spent our entire lives doing exactly that. We long for peace…but unknowingly choose what keeps us activated.
We long for rest…but fill every quiet moment with more doing. We long for healing…but believe we have to exhaust ourselves to get there.

Maybe that’s why Psalm 46 doesn’t say,

“Work harder and know that I am God.”

It says,

“Be still.”

Sometimes the most courageous thing a survivor can do isn’t to try harder.

It’s to rest. It’s to trust. It’s to believe that healing isn’t something we force. It’s something we receive.

So today, my nervous system learned two important lessons:

1. Wintergreen and hot bath water are not a match made in heaven.
2. Neither are striving and healing.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an aloe vera date with my legs… and I think I’ll stick with lavender next time. 🌿😉

🧠 Brain Food: Have you ever had one of those moments where life handed you an unforgettable lesson in the funniest way possible? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

Our family is once again asking for your prayers for our precious grandson, Matthew. ❤️🙏

First, thank you.

There are simply no words to express our gratitude for the thousands of prayers that have been lifted on Matthew’s behalf. We truly believe we are witnessing a miracle. With his diagnosis, many never expected him to survive this long, yet here he is, continuing to surprise everyone with his strength. We know his medical team has worked tirelessly, but we also believe God has been guiding every decision, every hand, and every step of this journey.

Today marks another significant milestone.

The doctors have decided to remove Matthew’s breathing tube.

Originally, they planned to leave him intubated because there is still a strong possibility that he will need additional surgery. But after carefully weighing everything, they believe it’s time to give him this opportunity.

This is wonderful news, but it also comes with some very specific prayer requests.

Because Matthew has been intubated for nearly his entire life, babies can experience challenges after the breathing tube is removed. Please pray specifically for:

❤️ That he breathes strongly and comfortably on his own.
❤️ That his airway remains open without swelling or obstruction.
❤️ That his vocal cords function normally and are not injured.
❤️ That he is able to swallow safely and develops a strong suck and swallow reflex.
❤️ That he does not aspirate milk or saliva into his lungs.
❤️ That his lungs remain healthy and free from infection.
❤️ That his oxygen levels stay strong without needing to be re-intubated.
❤️ That his brain and body tolerate this transition peacefully.
❤️ That every muscle involved in breathing, swallowing, coughing, and protecting his airway works exactly as God designed.
❤️ That the medical team is filled with wisdom and discernment with every decision they make.
❤️ And, as always, that God’s perfect will be accomplished in Matthew’s life.

Watching this little warrior fight has changed all of us. He has already touched countless lives, strengthened our faith, and reminded us that every single day is a gift.

Please continue praying for our sweet miracle.

Every prayer matters.
Every prayer is heard.
And every prayer gives us hope.

Thank you for standing with our family. We are more grateful than you’ll ever know. 💙🙏

Happy 250th Independence Day, America! 🇺🇸

Today we celebrate 250 years since a courageous group of ordinary men and women chose liberty over submission, conviction over comfort, and faith over fear. They understood that freedom is never handed to a people. It must be valued, protected, and, when necessary, defended at great personal cost.

This anniversary carries special meaning for my family. One of my ancestors, John Stark, gave us the timeless words:

“Live Free or Die: Death Is Not the Worst of Evils.”

Those words were never just a battle cry. They were a declaration that some things are more valuable than mere existence. Freedom. Conscience. Faith. Truth. Human dignity.

The freedoms we enjoy today were purchased with extraordinary sacrifice. Countless men and women gave their lives, their families, their futures, and their fortunes so that generations they would never meet could live in liberty.

As someone who has spent much of my life helping people find freedom from trauma, abuse, fear, and shame, this day reminds me that freedom has many faces. Political freedom matters. Spiritual freedom matters. Emotional freedom matters. Freedom to speak the truth. Freedom to worship God. Freedom to heal. Freedom to become who God created us to be.

May we never take these gifts for granted.

May we honor those who paid the price by living courageously, protecting liberty for the next generation, and remembering that true freedom always carries responsibility.

Happy 250th Birthday, America.

May God continue to bless the United States of America, and may we remain a people who choose truth, courage, and freedom for generations to come.

🇺🇸 Happy Independence Day! 🇺🇸

It’s Never About the Poop💩

Today I witnessed one of the greatest neuroscience experiments I’ve ever seen.

The research subjects? My grandkids.

A two-year-old.

A four-year-old.

And one very large but ordinary bag of dog p**p.

Last night my daughter warned me as she prepped me for babysitting my grandkids.

“When you walk the dog, someone gets to carry the p**p bag to the trash. Just so you know… the kids fight over it so I keep track of whose turn it is.

I blinked.

“Fight… over… p**p?”

Surely she was kidding.

Today the dog did his business on our walk.

My daughter scooped it up, tied the little bag, and handed the prized possession to my eager two-year-old grandson.

His chest puffed out.

He smiled from ear to ear.

He marched onward holding that little bag like he’d just won an Olympic medal.

Meanwhile…

My four-year-old granddaughter completely unraveled.

Real tears.

Real heartbreak.

For at least four solid minutes until it was dropped into the trash can.

“It was MY TURN to carry the p**p!”

She cried the entire walk home while her little brother proudly carried his fragrant trophy.

I’ll admit it.

I laughed and laughed at my granddaughter for the first time in my life. I couldn’t help it!

Because from an adult perspective…

It’s so gross…p**p.

But then my Neuro Coach brain kicked in.

Her brain wasn’t reacting to p**p.

It was reacting to meaning.

Her nervous system wasn’t saying,

🚨 “Alert! We stepped in p**p!” (Then I’d have had a melt down)

It was saying,

“I wasn’t chosen.”

“That wasn’t fair.”

“I lost a privilege.”

And suddenly I was comparing toddlers to adults.

Adults aren’t nearly as different as we’d like to think.

Someone else gets promoted.

Someone else gets the recognition.

Someone else gets invited.

Someone else gets the opportunity.

Someone else gets the blessing we’ve been praying for.

And somewhere deep inside, our nervous system quietly whispers…

“It should’ve been my turn.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I deserve better.”

Here’s what neuroscience teaches:

The event itself is rarely what creates our emotional response.

It’s the meaning our brain attaches to the event.

Our brains are extraordinary meaning-making machines.

Sometimes they create hope.

Sometimes they create resilience.

Sometimes…

They convince us our worth just walked away inside a tiny plastic bag of dog p**p.

Neuroscientists call this cognitive appraisal.

Scripture says,

“Take every thought captive.”

Different language.

Same principle.

We don’t always choose what happens to us.

But we can learn to question the stories our brain automatically writes.

Because sometimes…

The story is true.

And sometimes…

It’s just p**p. 💩😂

🧠 The Brain Dame
Rewire the Mind. Heal the Heart. Laugh whenever possible.

💬 Now I have to know…

What’s the funniest thing your child (or even your own brain 😄) has ever treated like a full-blown emergency that, in hindsight, was completely ridiculous?

Tell me your story in the comments! ⬇️

If this made you laugh, share it with someone whose brain occasionally writes dramatic stories. (Let’s be honest… that’s all of us. 😂)

Follow for more real-life neuroscience lessons.

“Maybe you were never ‘too much.’
Maybe you were carrying too much.”

If you survived childhood sexual abuse, there’s a good chance someone taught you to question yourself.

“You’re too sensitive.”

“You’re too emotional.”

“You’re too needy.”

Those labels often become the soundtrack playing quietly in the background of adulthood.

But here’s what neuroscience tells us:

A child’s nervous system is wired to adapt in order to survive.

When your need for safety, protection, comfort, or love wasn’t met, your brain didn’t conclude, “The adults failed me.”

It concluded, “Something must be wrong with me.”

That wasn’t truth.

It was survival.

The little child inside you wasn’t asking for too much.

They were asking for what every developing brain requires:

To feel safe.
To be protected.
To be loved.
To matter.

Those aren’t excessive needs.

They’re human needs.

So if you’ve spent years believing you’re “too much,” I’d like to offer you a different possibility.

Maybe you’re deeply compassionate because you know what suffering feels like.

Maybe you’re incredibly empathetic because you learned to read every room to stay safe.

Maybe your heart isn’t broken.

Maybe it simply learned to work overtime.

Healing begins when we stop judging the adaptations that once protected us and start honoring the child who deserved so much better.

You were never too much.

You were always enough.

Believe it and receive it! Share if this resonates with you and you want to encourage someone else❣️

And you still are. 🧠💕

My ❤️ goes out to all people in NICU’s hoping their tiny bundle of joy survives. That’s been my experience for 17 days now.

Brain Dame 🧠 Rewire the Mind. Heal the Heart. Rise Stronger. Break free from survival mode and create a life you love through neuroscience, faith, and proven methods for lasting transformation. 💕