Dimensions by Jireh Salon

SOME PEOPLE ARE MARRIED TO A SPOUSE WHO IS ASHAMED OF THEM… AND THE SIGNS ARE THERE.

That’s a hard truth, but you need to recognize it.

A spouse who truly honors you shouldn’t make you feel like they have to hide, minimize, or distance themselves from you when other people are around.

You can be CUTE and still have NO VIRTUE.

Beauty can get attention, but CHARACTER determines what you do with it.

You can have the face, the body, the hair, the clothes, and the confidence—and still lack integrity, discipline, wisdom, humility, and self-control.

Proverbs 31:30 says, “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”

Being attractive doesn’t automatically make you a GOOD WOMAN.

Because when the makeup comes off and nobody is applauding you, WHO ARE YOU?

Can you be corrected?
Can you control your mouth?
Can you keep your word?
Can you respect others?
Can you walk away from temptation?
Can you apologize when you’re wrong?
Do you obey GOD when obedience costs you something?

CUTE is what people SEE.
VIRTUE is who you ARE.

And eventually, your character will speak LOUDER than your appearance ever could.

BROTHERS, LOOK BEYOND BEAUTY. 👀

Beauty may catch your attention, but CHARACTER will determine what kind of wife she becomes.

Before you start talking about putting a ring on her finger, pay attention to these 3 TRAITS:

1️⃣ SHE CAN BE CORRECTED.
A wise woman doesn’t believe she’s above accountability. She can receive truth without turning every correction into disrespect or an argument.
📖 Proverbs 12:1

2️⃣ SHE RESPECTS YOU.
Watch how she speaks to you—especially when she’s angry, disappointed, or doesn’t get her way. Respect that disappears during conflict was never deeply rooted.
📖 Ephesians 5:33

3️⃣ SHE DOESN’T JUST SAY SHE LOVES GOD—SHE OBEYS HIM.
Anybody can say, “I love God.” Look at the FRUIT. Does her lifestyle agree with her confession? Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”
📖 John 14:15

BROTHERS, DON’T JUST LOOK FOR A PRETTY WOMAN. LOOK FOR A WOMAN WITH VIRTUE.

Because CUTE can get your attention…
but CHARACTER, WISDOM, RESPECT, AND OBEDIENCE TO GOD are what you want to help build a marriage.

📖 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” — Proverbs 31:10 💍🔥
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SOME PEOPLE WANT THE TITLE “MARRIED,” BUT THEY DON’T WANT THE PROCESS OF BECOMING ONE.

Marriage isn’t proven when everything is EASY. It gets tested when you’ve seen each other’s WEAKNESSES, FAILURES, SHORTCOMINGS, AND BROKEN PLACES—and you still choose to seek GOD for wisdom on how to move forward.

If you haven’t had to PRAY THROUGH SOME THINGS, FORGIVE SOME THINGS, WORK THROUGH SOME THINGS, AND TRUST GOD THROUGH SOME THINGS, you haven’t experienced the full weight of covenant yet.

Your spouse has weaknesses.

SO DO YOU.

Their weakness may not look like yours, but that doesn’t make you superior. Stop sitting in the judgment seat as though your struggles are acceptable while theirs deserve condemnation.

GOD IS THE JUDGE.

Sometimes God allows marriage to expose weakness because weakness reminds BOTH spouses:

“WE NEED GOD.”

Marriage was never designed for two perfect people. It requires two people humble enough to recognize that THEY CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT GOD.

The moment you start believing, “I’m strong. I’ve got this. I can handle marriage on my own,” you’ve already forgotten where your strength comes from.

Marriage will humble you.

Marriage will expose you.

Marriage will stretch you.

Marriage will teach you how to forgive.

Marriage will teach you how to extend grace.

And marriage will teach you how desperately you need GOD.

STOP TRYING TO HAVE A GODLY MARRIAGE WITHOUT GOD.

📖 “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

COVENANT ISN’T JUST ABOUT STAYING TOGETHER. IT’S ABOUT ALLOWING GOD TO WORK ON BOTH OF YOU WHILE YOU’RE TOGETHER.

SOME OF Y’ALL MARRIED THE IDEAL PERSON IN YOUR HEAD—NOT THE ACTUAL PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.

And now you’re MAD because they’re not who you thought they were going to be.

Listen—dating gives you an introduction to a person. Marriage gives you access to layers.

You can date somebody for years and STILL discover things after marriage that you never knew. Why? Because time, pressure, responsibilities, children, money, sickness, disappointment, success, failure, and everyday LIFE will reveal parts of a person that dinner dates NEVER could.

And guess what?

Some things you discover about your spouse WILL disappoint you.

But disappointment doesn’t automatically mean you married the wrong person.

Sometimes it means you married a HUMAN BEING and not the perfected version you created in your imagination.

Marriage will expose weaknesses.
Marriage will reveal habits.
Marriage will uncover wounds.
Marriage will show you areas where BOTH of you still need to grow.

So before you make criticizing your spouse your full-time job, TAKE YOURSELF TO THE LORD.

“Lord, give ME wisdom.”
“Show ME how to respond.”
“Show ME what needs grace and what needs boundaries.”
“Show ME when to speak and when to be quiet.”
“And Lord, show ME what YOU are trying to change in ME through this marriage.”

📖 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God…” — James 1:5

Stop demanding that your spouse become the imaginary person you married in your mind.

LEARN the person you actually married.
PRAY for the person you actually married.
GROW with the person you actually married.

Because mature love isn’t loving someone only when they match your expectations.

MATURE LOVE LEARNS HOW TO LOVE IN TRUTH.

— Coach A 🔥

LUST CAN NEVER BE FULFILLED.

You can get married and STILL be controlled by lust.

Marriage does not CURE lust. 💯
A wedding ring does not DELIVER you.
And having access to your spouse does not automatically make an undisciplined appetite disappear.

LUST ALWAYS WANTS MORE.

More attention.
More bodies.
More fantasies.
More excitement.
More validation.

That’s why if you don’t deal with lust BEFORE marriage, you can carry the same appetite right into your covenant—and eventually bring your marriage to RUINS.

James 1:14–15 teaches that when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin, and sin eventually produces DEATH.

Some people keep blaming their spouse when the real battle is an UNDISCIPLINED FLESH.

Your spouse was NEVER designed to satisfy an appetite that refuses to be governed.

🔥 STARVE WHAT’S TRYING TO DESTROY YOU.

Stop feeding the fantasy.
Stop entertaining inappropriate conversations.
Stop scrolling things that stir your flesh.
Stop keeping “options” around.
Stop calling temptation harmless.

DEAL WITH YOUR LUST BEFORE YOUR LUST DEALS WITH YOU.

Because unchecked lust doesn’t care about your marriage, your children, your reputation, your ministry, your business, or everything you spent YEARS building.

📖 “Flee also youthful lusts…” — 2 Timothy 2:22

SELF-CONTROL ISN’T PUNISHMENT. IT’S PROTECTION.

YOU WILL KNOW WHO YOU MARRIED when life stops being convenient. 💯

Anybody can say “for better or for worse” when everything is BETTER. But WORSE will introduce you to the person standing beside you.

1️⃣ WHEN THE MONEY STOPS.
Lose the income. Let the bills get tight. Let one spouse become financially dependent on the other for a season.

Now watch the HEART.

Do they encourage you—or embarrass you?
Do they carry the load—or constantly remind you that THEY are carrying it?
Do they still treat you like their spouse—or like a BURDEN?

2️⃣ WHEN SICKNESS OR INJURY HITS.
When you can’t cook, clean, work, drive, serve, or even care for yourself the way you normally would—WATCH WHO YOU MARRIED.

Because marriage isn’t just about who enjoys you when you’re STRONG.
It’s about who can SERVE you when you’re WEAK.

That’s why the vows say:

“For richer or poorer. In sickness and in health.”

Those aren’t cute wedding-day words.
Those are COVENANT CONDITIONS.

Money problems will expose character.
Sickness will expose compassion.
Hardship will expose commitment.

You don’t really know the depth of somebody’s love just by watching how they treat you when you’re useful.

Sometimes you find out who you married when YOU HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE BUT YOURSELF.

🔥 Can they love you when you’re not producing?
🔥 Can they serve you without keeping score?
🔥 Can they protect your dignity when you’re vulnerable?
🔥 Can they carry YOU when you can’t carry yourself?

Because REAL COVENANT says:

“Baby, you may be down right now—but WE are still standing.”

THAT’S MARRIAGE.

THE 3 C’s OF MARRIAGE: COMMITMENT. COMPROMISE. COMMUNICATION.

Listen, you can LOVE each other and STILL have a marriage that stays in CAHOOTS because love without relationship skills will have two people loving each other and getting on each other’s LAST NERVE. 😂

Marriage requires ALL THREE.

🔥 COMMITMENT says:
“I’m not threatening to leave every time things get uncomfortable.”

You cannot build security with somebody who keeps one foot in the marriage and one foot at the EXIT. Commitment says, “We have a problem, but YOU are not my enemy. Let’s work through it.”

🔥 COMPROMISE says:
“Everything cannot go MY way.”

Marriage will expose selfishness QUICK! You cannot have two people screaming “MY WAY!” and expect to become ONE FLESH. Sometimes you bend. Sometimes they bend. Sometimes BOTH of you have to give up a little to protect the greater good of the marriage.

And compromise does NOT mean compromising your safety, convictions, integrity, or tolerating abuse. It means learning that marriage cannot survive when one person ALWAYS has to WIN.

🔥 COMMUNICATION says:
“I’m going to TALK to you, not make you GUESS.”

Your spouse is not a mind reader! 🗣️

Stop expecting them to know what you need when you never clearly communicated it. Stop shutting down. Stop yelling over each other. Stop collecting offenses and then unloading six months of frustration during ONE argument. 😩😂

Speak. Listen. Clarify. Apologize. Forgive. REPEAT.

James 1:19 says, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

Every morning I wake up with GOD on my mind… 🙏🏾

And apparently GOD wakes up with MARRIAGE on HIS. 🤣🤣🤣

Me: “Good morning, LORD! What we talking about today? Faith? Prosperity? Maybe a lil’ encouragement?” 😌☕️

GOD: “MARRIAGE.”

Me: “Again, LORD?” 😭🤣

GOD: “AGAIN.”

So I grab my phone like… 🫡🤷🏾‍♀️🤣
HERE I GO.

Some of y’all see my name pop up and say:
“YESSSSS COACH A‼️ TALK ABOUT IT‼️” 🙌🏾🤣

Others see my post and immediately start rebuking me. 😭🤣
“LORD, WHY SHE WON’T LEAVE THESE MARRIED FOLKS ALONE⁉️”

Baby, I TRIED. 🤣🤣🤣

I be wanting to mind my business, drink my water, work out, do some hair, and go sit down somewhere.

But then here comes the HOLY GHOST:
“Tell husbands to love their wives.”

🫡 Yes, LORD.

“Tell wives to respect their husbands.”

🫡 Yes, LORD.

“Tell BOTH OF ‘EM to stop telling everybody their marital business.”

😳 Whew… Yes, LORD.

“And tell their mommas, cousins, best friends, coworkers, Facebook friends, prayer partners, exes, and that one ‘friend’ who been waiting on the marriage to fail to GET OUT THE COVENANT.”

ME: 😭😭😭😭
“LORD… they are NOT going to like this.”

And I can almost hear Him saying:

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU IF THEY LIKED IT.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

So listen…

Some people are HAPPY to see me coming. 🙌🏾
Some people wish I would disappear. 😭
Some people share my posts.
Some people screenshot them and send them to their spouse like, “SEE‼️ THIS WHAT I BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU‼️” 🤣
And some of y’all read the whole thing MAD… then come back three hours later and read it AGAIN. 🤣🤣🤣

But whether you say AMEN or “HERE SHE GO AGAIN…”

Just know…

HERE. I. GO. 🫡🤷🏾‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Because as long as GOD keeps putting COVENANT, ACCOUNTABILITY, HEALING, FORGIVENESS, ORDER, LOVE, HONOR, S*X, COMMUNICATION, HUSBANDS, WIVES, AND MARRIAGE on my heart…

I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT IT‼️🗣️🔥

You don’t have to like Coach A.

But if the WORD steps on your toes…

DON’T BLAME MY SHOES. 👠🤣
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