Stay Awhile with Dee

If I had one wish,
it wouldn’t be for riches, fame, or success…
it would be that our kids didn’t have to grow up without their dad.

Grief has a way of making the ordinary precious.
One day, the socks left on the floor will be gone.
The laundry that missed the basket will be empty.
And the dirty dishes in the sink won’t include theirs anymore.

So love them well
even in the mess,
even in the little annoyances.
Because the things that frustrate you today
may be the very things you miss for tomorrow.
Make it a game…find JOY in those moments. What a gift it is to love someone so well.
Hug your hottie. Tomorrow isn’t promised.

Grief doesn’t just disappear. Some days it sits heavy, like an anchor. But I’ve learned I get to choose: stay stuck in the ache, or move toward moments that remind me of life, love, and joy.

Today, that looked like kayaking at King’s Landing with Willow…letting the sun, the water, and the quiet remind me that even in sorrow, God still gives good gifts.

“Though the sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning.” — Psalm 30:5

Here’s to choosing joy, even when grief rides with you.

As the anniversary of Justin’s death approaches on September 29th, I find myself struggling. Some moments it feels like it just happened yesterday… and in the next, it feels like a lifetime ago.

Thunderstorms remind me that even nature needs to scream sometimes…
And so do we.
Anger is real. The feelings are valid. Even Jesus flipped tables.

But Scripture reminds us:
“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” — Ephesians 4:26

If you find yourself angry, try whispering. Whispers force us to slow down, soften our tone, and let the storm inside settle. They remind us that even in pain, God calls us to respond with grace.

Let it thunder. Let it rumble. But let God shape your response.

Failure used to terrify me.
After Justin died, I thought I had to hold everything together…be the mom and dad, provider and homemaker. Best employee and business owner…And when I stumbled, I felt like I was failing everyone.

But here’s the truth I’m learning:
Failure isn’t the end.
It’s the beginning of something new.
Every pivot is permission. Every restart is progress.

We don’t have to stay stuck in what we lived before.
We can keep learning, keep growing, keep starting again…because God is still writing the story.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”
— Isaiah 43:18–19

So if you’ve failed, pivot.
If you’ve fallen, rise.
If you’ve lost, begin again.
God’s not finished with you yet.

And as Jordan Peterson reminds us:
“If you are not willing to be a fool, you can’t become a master.”

erikakirk

Watching people attack Erika Kirk online breaks my heart. It’s so easy to sit behind a screen and say what we would or wouldn’t do if tragedy hit our home. But here’s the truth: none of us can really know until we’ve walked through it ourselves.

We all see the world through the lens of our own story…our own pain, experiences, and faith. That’s why judgment comes so quickly. But God doesn’t ask us to live by the world’s lens. He asks us to live by His Word.

📖 His Word says to love one another.
📖 His Word says to carry each other’s burdens.
📖 His Word says not to judge, but to pray, encourage, and show up.

So instead of joining in the noise, let’s be different. Let’s be the ones who extend compassion where others throw stones. Let’s be the ones who say, “If it were me, I’d hope for grace.” And then give it.

Last night turned into an almost all-nighter of writing… and somewhere between the exhaustion and the honesty, I realized how much God reveals in hindsight.

When you look back, He shows you the patterns, the lessons, and the places where His hand was steady even when your heart wasn’t. Writing has a way of bringing it all back, but it also makes room for healing because hindsight reminds us that even the hardest pages were never wasted.

Hard truth, but freeing truth…
If you keep waiting until you feel better to really live, you might end up waiting forever. Life doesn’t pause until we’re “ready.”

So do it sad. Do it anxious. Do it uncertain. Step into the moments anyway. Because sometimes the experience itself is the very thing that brings the healing you’ve been hoping for.

When life shatters, prayer can feel like begging God to notice your pain. We cry out, we plead, we repeat ourselves…hoping somehow our words will reach His ears.

But prayer was never meant to be about persistence until He hears us. He already does. Every word. Every whisper…Every silent tear.

The power of prayer is not in convincing God to listen, it’s in quieting our hearts until we can hear Him. Until His peace breaks through the noise. Until His whispers cut through the loud pain. Until His presence becomes louder than our pain.

As a widow, I’ve prayed countless “Why, God?” prayers. And sometimes, the heavens feel silent. But in those still, broken moments, I’ve found a deeper truth: prayer reshapes me more than it changes my circumstances.

So don’t just pray until you’ve said all your words. Pray until your soul has space to hear His. That’s where the healing begins.

💜