Alex Mata, MA, LPC

After a month of motherhood, we’ve gotten used to one another, for the most part.

I’ve gotten used to the idea that nothing will be the same again and there will always be something to do around the house.

Thankfully, my mental health background and my hereditary positivity has prepared me for what could be. (I also love alone time)

Foreboding joy is a paradoxical feeling where a moment of deep happiness or love is immediately interrupted by a sudden sense of dread, fear, or the thought that “the other shoe is going to drop”

Why It Happens

Vulnerability shield: Your brain tries to protect you from future pain.

Tragedy rehearsal: You subconsciously think that if you “dress-rehearse” a disaster, you will be less hurt if it actually happens

Control mechanism: It feels safer to expect the worst than to let your guard down and risk losing the good thing.

Common Signs: Looking at a sleeping child and immediately imagining a terrible accident.

Having a great first date or a happy day and thinking it is “too good to be true”.

Waiting for bad news after receiving a glowing review or great health results.

How to Stop It

Name it: Notice the sudden shift in your body and say out loud or to yourself, “I am feeling foreboding joy” or “I am feeling vulnerable”.

Practice gratitude: Instead of spiraling into what-ifs, pause to appreciate the actual present moment and feel thankful for it.

Accept vulnerability: Remind yourself that worrying about tragedy does not stop it from happening; it only steals the happiness you have right now.

#988

I’m counting the early labor signs of contractions that felt like constipations cramps, which actually started at 10am.

SO I was actually in labor for 37 hours at the age of 37.

Coincidence?

Except I don’t know if I actually believe in coincidences…

So I’m still trying to figure out the meaning behind that

Stay tuned for the scoop of my version of the beauty of birth.

I’m a whole mom, y’all…

I feel so grown up.